Is it possible to accidentally misgender someone with the "they" pronoun?

I think it's ok if it's because you have no idea how they identify.. but if you know damn well they use 'she' 'he' 'xe' etc, then yes, I would consider that misgendering.

 

You can't misgender someone with 'they' because it has no gender association.
However people can not like being referred to with 'they'.

 

I think the crux of the matter is that when someone uses "they" or other gender neutral form of address it signifies that the person they are talking to is presenting themselves in an ambiguous manner or sending mixed signals (e.g. female body, male haircut and attitude). It can be considered a form of "misgendering" to whomever the "they" is used upon because it signifies to that person that they don't pass as the gender they identify with (provided they identify as either "male" or "female").

I sometimes have trouble with gendering people who do not appear completely as "male" or "female" because I almost always use "sir"/"ma'am" in public. So, if I am dealing with a person whose gender is ambiguous my brain will explode a bit trying to decide whether to use "sir" or "ma'am." It's actually very hard for me not to use those words.

 

No? I dunno. I thought they was supposed to be the gender-free pronoun that could refer to anyone. I mean, it's usually the default pronoun when you don't know someone's gender or you're referring to a generic person ('there was another applicant to the cashier position and they had four years at Stetson!')

 

"They" doesn't really have a gender attached to it so I don't really think it counts as misgendering. If you use it to avoid using a trans persons pronouns, that's kind of rude, but it's not exactly misgendering. I always use it when I don't know someone's gender

 

I prefer they/them/their as my pronouns.

 

I don't see how it could. "They", when used singularly is by definition, gender-neutral. I suppose only if you knew the gender of the person but decided to use "they" instead because you weren't comfortable using the pronoun they wanted, well, that could be an example of misidentifying someone.

 

I guess it could be interpreted as a sign of not passing, but it's impossible to mistake someone for a gender that doesn't exist (i.e. using a neutral pronoun to refer to someone can't also be mistaking them for the wrong gender).

If I can't tell what someone's gender is when I'm talking to them, I casually ask them for their name. If I can't figure it out from that, I'll default to "they".

 

This.

 

Well, it's grammatically incorrect. "They" refers to multiple people, and English simply doesn't have a gender neutral single person pronoun. Anyways, back on topic. I think saying "they" is a better alternative when referring to someone that you don't know what pronoun they prefer. A transgendered friend of mine, born female, really prefers for us to say 'he', and wouldn't appreciate the constant use of "they". He makes sure to establish with us that he prefers male pronouns.

 

This is a common misconception. The singular use of "they" is widely accepted in standard British, American, and most modern forms of English. The reason why children are taught to attribute the pronoun of "they" to plurality is largely because of simplicity, but there are very few English professors in the world that would discount the usage of the term in its singular form as equally valid.

Standardized language is used to provide a basic foundation for the various members of a specific tongue to effectively communicate and comprehend one another; however standardized language should never be seen as the strict law of language or grammar. Any individual who has issue with the use "they" in its singular form might as well start slashing lines out of essentially every work from Shakespeare, Chaucer, Milton, Dickens, Eliot, Shaw, the list goes on.