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Do You Have A Defeatist Attitude?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ZenMusic, Oct 21, 2014.

  1. ZenMusic

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    Sometimes I look to people like Chris Brown (OK, bad example for most of you, but he DOES have talent) and I think, I'll never be that good, or I'll look at reputable actors and think, I'll never be THAT known, and yet sometimes I think there's no room for doubt and I just have to give it my all. The first one is more consistent, and it involves me comparing myself to thw aforementioned people, and I don't know why. Does anyone else feel this way?
     
  2. lion12

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    I feel the same when I look at Shonda Rhimes or other great writers/producers for TV.. It's normal to compare ourselves to our idols or people we look up to. It's also normal to feel doubt and be afraid we won't make it there. A very few people get famous.
    I think that if you have a passion, you should pursue it and give your all. Maybe you'll get famous, and maybe not. But at the end of the day, if you work hard and do what you like, it's the only thing that matter.
     
  3. asdfghjk

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    feel this way when i leave the house and see people
     
  4. Kaiser

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    To a healthy degree, I do.

    What do I mean by 'healthy degree'?

    I might be egotistical, but I'm not stupid -- I know, thinking I am the absolute best, will only set me up for a heavy fall. It will cost me my pride, and perhaps even any sort of stability. By embracing my defeatism, I allow a more realistic window into my perceptional quarters. I can see what needs to be worked on; what society tends to gravitate towards, what the world needs, and what the world would trick you into thinking everybody else wants. I can apply this to myself, and see what needs to be improved, enhanced, polished, or utilized more. I can make myself into the model of worldly success, as well as my own individualized success.

    I'll admit, there are days, where I just want to clench my fist, bear my teeth, and growl and snarl in pure frustration -- but I keep it under control. I may not be where I'd like to be, but if I cave in, and don't use every single one of my feelings, then I can never expect to be, where I'd like to be either. By accepting this aspect of myself, I am allowed a more truthful and expansive area, to work with, to make use of.

    When I make efforts, towards whatever, if it goes well, I take note of what worked. I study and analyze everything, as much as possible, and take the productive elements, incorporating them into other realms of my life. But, if I make efforts, towards whatever, and it does not go well, I also take note of what worked. Again, I study and analyze as much as I can, and filter out what did not work -- the point is, instead of wallowing in self-pity or futile cynicism, I get my ass back up, and I get back into the fight. I may not accomplish much, if anything at all, by getting back into the swing of things, but I will not accomplish anything, by sitting there and cursing the world.

    Better to try, than to regret; if rewards or success, is what you desire.




    To sum it up:

    I'm too confident to know I'm a failure, but I'm too sensible to believe I'm a failure, as well.
     
    #4 Kaiser, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2014
  5. NingyoBroken

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    Not at all.

    While I do look up to certain people, I never think "I'll never be like him" I think "one day I WILL be like him".
     
  6. Ashley2103

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  7. Aussie792

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    No. I know I'm capable of what I do (being a student) and what I want to do in the future. To accomplish that, I just need to put in the work. I'm also capable of staying in a healthy emotional state; defeatism is not an option, even if it rears its head to tell me to just put everything down.

    It's amazing the amount of work I can put into something after a long period of procrastination and still do well; I don't cry about the risk of failure. If I have to work with no sleep for a day or two, then that's what I have to do. If I bring something on myself, I have no right to be defeated by it. If someone or something else does, then that's a challenge I have to live up to. I have no excuses for failure, so I have no excuses for defeatism. If I fail because I didn't put effort into it, that's two things I'm at fault for, not one (the act of failure while trying for success), and two things to cry about.

    I define myself by my limits, not others'. That's not to say that I don't compare myself to others, but absolutely no chance that I'm going to give up on something I know to be possible, desirable and/or necessary merely because it's not the mould of someone else's life. I lay the groundwork for things as much as I can, so that I know I can do them when it's necessary. Defeatism can come so quickly if you burn the wrong bridges without constructing new ones to take their place. And new routes take longer to prepare than keeping old ones intact.

    If I were to worry that I'm not going to be loved, then I would have to work on what I could do to prevent that. My solution to most self-esteem problems is overwhelming confidence and open arrogance; it's what gets me through. Self-love may come across as cocky, but it absolutely beats the defeatism of when I was in a terrible emotional state two years ago.

    It's a regrettable waste of a life to try to become someone else rather than capitalising on one's own skills. The great people we admire are great because they are themselves; nobody is as good as the original, so you might as well fight to become valuable as yourself.
     
  8. Blossom85

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    I see my limitations and so I don't play that game if saying I will never be like that person.. Cause most likely.. My limitations won't allow me so it's just not fair on myself to compare myself to people whom don't have the same limitations that I do. I focus on the positives and what I can do to become more like someone I admire as much as I can.
     
  9. SemiCharmedLife

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    All the damn time
     
  10. Argentwing

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    By the letter of the thread, yes. Certain levels of success only happen with a fair bit of talent, a lifetime of hard work (starting from the beginning) and a wheelbarrow full of luck. I have wasted too much time and effort not going for a particular prize, and the ones that are a bit closer are still really uncertain.

    My idols may as well live in the clouds.
     
  11. Hel

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    I have very low self esteem and think of myself as a stupid and uninteresting person... So I guess I'm a defeatist and a pessimist person.
     
  12. White Knight

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    It is good to know I am not alone.

    If I couldn't be able to do anything related to my biggest love in the world, comics, it is because I keep comparing myself to guys like John Byrne, Jim Lee, Joe Mad or any of the Kuberts... I know I have a good hand but can't stop comparing myself to those idols and feel like I will botch if I ever try myself at comics.
     
  13. HM03

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    I'm either stubborn as fuck, or give up too easily :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  14. Hexagon

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    No, not really. I doubt myself sometimes, but I'm not measuring myself against others, and I'm not worried about being as good as others.
     
  15. Candace

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    Sometimes I do, but then I get back up and tell myself that I can do it. I see people who have traveled to fifty countries, lived in ten of them, speak ten languages, and are an accomplished traveling journalist. I don't envy them at all! There's always someone that I can aspire to be one day.
     
  16. Pipihpipih

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    Yeah I do this so people will not think im weak.
     
  17. ahardlife

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    like some have mentioned self doubt is an Issue as I suffer from mood swings but I dont really look up to or envy people am just Dru-ahardlife