"The homosexual lifestyle"

The phrase "homosexual lifestyle" sends me into a greater rage than any other group of words I can think of. Even worse than "gay agenda". I love it when people like Sarah Palin condemn "the gay agenda" and then turn around to say that "the conservative agenda" is right for America.

To me, "lifestyle" implies a person living a life of stereotypes - promiscuous, indecisive, depressed and suicidal, pedophilic, lecherous, and effeminate. Wrong on all accounts.

 

I agree with both you guys. I can't stand it when somebody says "Homosexual Lifestyle". I think it is extremely condescending to think that you can group people into one "lifestyle" that fits your stereotypes of them.

 

When people say "homosexual lifestyle" in my experience they usually mean promiscuous, sometimes including drugs and whatever else they want to label us with. This REALLY annoys me. Not only does it assume that being gay is a "lifestyle" and accept all the stereotypes, but it assumes that all gay people are the same! I mean, the only thing that gay people have in common is that they're gay! It's similar to this strange thing that I've found: people automatically assume that if you're gay you're going to get on with someone else who is, because you have this "connection". Newsflash: just as all straight people don't get on, and just as straight people lead a variety of lifestyles, so do gay people not necessarily all get on, and lead a variety of lifestyles. And anyway, lumping us all together aside, the most promiscuous people I know are straight and most of the gay people I know are either married/in civil partnerships or in long-term relationships!

Basically, one thing that REALLY irritates me is the way that some people see homosexuality as about sex, rather than as about love. I think that this is where some people's ideas of the "gay lifestyle" comes from. Allow me my little connected rant here:

So many people just can't see that homosexuality isn't about sex, but about love. Granted, for some gay people it's mainly about sex - just like for some straight people it's all about sex rather than love - but I've found that people always focus on the sexual aspect of gay relationships when condemning them!

I mean, why is it that some people, when homosexuality comes up, say things like "ugh, I find the idea of two men having sex disgusting". Well, you know, newsflash: I find the idea of my parents having sex disgusting. Heck, I find the idea of most people having sex disgusting. In fact, I don't really think about it too much. And people don't tend to think about sex when they see straight couples - they think "ah, that's sweet". When I see a heterosexual couple walking down the street holding hands, I don't turn to my friend and say "ugh, I find the idea of those two having sex disgusting"!! But I've heard people make these comments when gay people walk down the street holding hands!! But you know, with my parents, or other straight people who I don't like to envision having sex, well, I don't take this to mean that they morally shouldn't be having sex. I just take it to mean that I should probably just not think about it! I mean, heck: it's not like the only people allowed to have sex are the ones I'd enjoy watching!!!!!!!

Anyway! Mini-rant over! I've found, in my experience, that gay people's "lifestyles" are exactly the same and as varied as those of straight people. You get nice gay people, you get nasty gay people. You get promiscuous ones (although I've only met one of these!), and you get committed ones. You get religious ones, you get quiet ones, you get partying ones, you get serious ones. You get family-orientated gay people, and ones who love the young and single life. We come in every different type of personality and lifestyle you can imagine. The only thing we have in common is that we're gay. And yes, there are some promsicuous gay people. But there are also promiscuous straight people. And non-promiscuous people of both. WHY DON'T PEOPLE REALISE THIS?????

 

ccdd put it perfectly - too many people focus only on the sexual aspect of relationships when they look at homosexuals. As if all gay people are "just in it for the sex", or they're sex-crazed and promiscuous, or they really don't care about forming a relationship. Have these people never seen a drunk college straight guy? Gays don't exactly have a monopoly on promiscuity.

 

Some excellent points raised so far, and the general gist is that "It's stupid to talk about the homosexual lifestyle because it's just as different and varied as the homosexual lifestyle" which is damn right, obviously. But a thread with people endlessly agreeing (because they're right) isn't much of a discussion, so I'm going to add a little controversy by looking at a few things from a different angle. I mean no offence at all, and I'm only trying to make a little bit of debate, not to justify the stupid and highly stereotypical idea that is "the homosexual lifestyle".

Clearly, people within the gay community exist that are "stereotypical", as these sort of people exist in all communities. And it's from this minority within a minority that all the generalisations occur. For now, I'll focus on the idea of promiscuous sex, drug taking and suicide and a little bit about gay "culture".

Right, sex first. The point has already been made that risk taking is sex is pretty much everywhere, and that sex is (generally speaking) not something you think about much. The idea that most people have already raised is that everyone looks with a little bit of disgust at the idea of other people having sex (For example, parents, siblings, close friends), so that's not the root of the disgust with homosexual sex. What I think causes the cultural association with gay sex and a shadowy underworld is that until fairly recent times, gay sex did take place in shadowy underworlds. Due to a fear of exposure, criminal proceedings and all number of cruel and socially ostracising punishments, homosexuality was something that happened behind closed doors (For example, think about the concept of annoymous sex, cruising in public bathrooms and the like). While I'm not condemning these as morally dubious acts in themselves (although they can be fairly high risk), the general perception of such actions isn't sparkling, to say the least.

Not only was homsexual sex related to a vague and seedy notion, there was also the implicit duplicity of living a double life. After all, most young gay men and women had to grow up into heterosexual married couples. The idea of living a double life, covert and secretive affairs and the illusion of people "suddenly" turning gay (I say illusion because that is precisely what it is) all leads to a certain amount of suspicious paranoia concerning the subject.

To an even greater extent than madly promiscuous sex, drugs and suicide are an indication of some deep psychological trouble. The link that's made between the high proportion of drug taking and suicide in LGBT people is a fallicious one, mostly because it's based on a non-causitive link. By this, I mean that the evidence doesn't suggest that you take drugs BECAUSE you're LGBT, but rather due to the pressure of an outside factor (i.e. social ostracisement, the pressure of leading dual lives &ct.) Therefore, while it is certainly true that there is a disproportionately high (though still a comparitivly low percentage) amount of suicides for LGBT youth, this is no indication of pathological behaviour. Society and it's attitudes are the thing that's wrong here, not the individuals involved.

Finally, a quick note about gay culture. The concept of social cohesion and cliques is a complex one. If you're not in one, you're a loner and unusual. If you are in one, others view you with potential suspicion and distrust. The problem of gay culture lies in the fact that it is separate from the world. While it would be incredibly foolish to suggest that LGBT people are one giant rainbow coloured family, there is a certain amount of camraderie and togetherness that we share, and I believe it is that common culture that is the cause for fear and suspicion. While LGBT people are incredibly diverse (just like people in general) the general perception is of a group with it's own language, culture and traditions, and where difference shows, suspicion grows. Once again, this is not an indication that LGBT society is somehow "flawed" but rather the perception of it is essentially a narrow and close minded one.

Rather longer than I expected, and I was going to add more, but I've got the intrusions of Real Life soon, so for now...that's it.

 

This is the most important part of your post, and if I could reach through the screen and congratulate you in person, I would. If there's one person I can't stand more than an evangelical conservative, it's a person who claims "Gays have a higher risk of abusing drugs and committing suicide, and it can't be because of all the hate I'm spewing at them, so they're the ones with the problems".

 

Thank you for your congratulations, and yes, the idea that societial attitudes to LGBT people have nothing to do with how such people live out lives is stupid.

I once had the misfortune to read a "study" by NARTH (What that organisation has done to science makes me want to commit atrocities of Biblical proportions upon them all) which stated "The numbers of suicides in LGBT youth was still disporportionately high, even having corrected for abuse and prejudice..." Right. What the PROFANITY? How on earth do you "correct" numbers like that? I don't think many suicides are helpful enough to leave an incredibly detailed list of things that drove them to commit suicide so that you can make a statistically sound study, and decide what percentage of people committed suicide for what reason. The other thing that struck me was the fact that they actually admitted "abuse and prejudice" as a cause for LGBT youth distress. Didn't it occur to them that it might be healthier (and easier) to remove abuse and prejudice (which, I think we all agree, are bad things) rather than changing people's sexuality? Not that you need me to spot bad science on behalf of that "organisation" (They do the whole "gay" in quotation marks, too), anyone with eyes and a half-functioning brain could spot the errors in their "work".

 

Being gay does not imply that I am going to live my life any differently than any straight person.

That is all.

 

Thankfully, the younger generation is not so stupid as to stamp all homosexuals with that brand. Not that some of us are not those things, nor that they are bad (other than that pedophilic one but thats not even a stereotype because it does not apply to many gays at all), but people are smart enough now in general to use knowledge.

Every year it seems to get better. More and more possitive gay role models are out there, more and more research proves its not a sickness or based on nurture, people are coming out of the closet more frequently and because of all that the general populations attitudes are changing. Just look at the UN bill trying to de-criminalize homosexual world wide! Thats a HUGE huge step, even if it does not pass.

Im glad that these people throwing out "gay agenda" are often looked at as crazy right wingers with no real influence Its almost taboo to think that way now (almost...)

 

Someone told me to explain the Homosexual lifestyle to them. I told them I couldn't and they were like "What?" I told them it didn't exsist but I'd be intrested in them explaining it to me.

 

Amen.

My friends in Scotland have a comedy group (they're also gay rights activists occasionally) - but this summer, we're dressing up like jeffery star, putting rubber bricks in handbags and going ''Straight Bashing''

 

everyone has different lifestyles...

 

Yeah, but the Homosexual Lifestyle is a dumbass term created by right wing bible bashing mindless fools.

It don't exist. In Avaddon's America, anyone using the term would get the firing squad

 

The way i see it, sure LOTS of gay people live much different lives than straight people. Hell, we have to. Its almost impossible, well it is impossible, to be gay and live like a heterosexual. Until no one would even blink at two guys holding hands, we have to live differently. Its not big changes for many gay people, but it a different life, like it or not.

However, "lifestyle"? Straight people dont all live the same lifestyle, and neither do gays. If anything, gays have MORE types of different "lifestyles" than straight people. But its for sure not one collective thing, like we wrote a manual on how to be gay

 

I agree. The term infuriates me. I do apologize for my left wing slant on it all though

 

dont worry. I cant BE more left wing. Honestly, i took a quiz. I beat Ghandi, tied with Stalin. And its so true...im a communist...

 

I know a few gay people who do live the gay lifestyle, so yes there is such a thing.

 

And what pray tell, is the "gay lifestyle" they lead? And don't you lead a "gay lifestyle" as well, and don't I, for the simple fact that we are gay and we live. Don't we get to be part of the "gay lifestyle", or do we have to act a certain way?

 

No, not really, theres a big difference between them and me (or you)..
First of all, they're OUT, you can't miss it, they only have gay friends, they always go clubbing, often hook up with different guys and just live the whole gay lifestyle, hard to explain because I'm not really a part of their world. They go to gay restaurants, gay gyms, gay everything!