So my friend who had been my table mate for the whole year in class, just had a fall out with her best friend. Her best friend is my crush.. And let's name my tablemate 1 and my crush which is 1's best friend 2. So I'm 1's closest friend after 2 so she basically follow me around school most of the time. We literally went everywhere together. I'm okay with it, but i felt kind of guilty because I'm close to my crush's "enemy". They basically ignore each other like having a cold war and I feel like I'm stuck in the middle or something. I'm like her backup friend. She come to be only when she have a tiff with her clique. Im afraid after they are friends again she will forget me and I will felt like I'm a second option and I'm being used. What can I do?
That's a tough one. I know, it's horrible feeling second best. I'm sorry you feel used, and maybe she isn't as good a friend as you think she is if she's so quick to leave you when she's back talking to her other friends. I suppose the only thing you can really do is try to stay as neutral as possible. Tell them both (if you can) that you're not taking sides in the argument and you want to stay friends with both of them. Easier said than done, I know, but if they make up eventually (which sound like you think they probably will), at least you haven't made any enemies along the way!
I don't know if this is the case, but don't trash 2 with 1. Even if it's 1 who trashes and you're just listening, it's still not good. How close of a friend do you consider 1 to be? You said that you're 1's second best friend, but what is 1 to you? When 1 is with 2, who do you hang out with?
Thank you spartan, I am friends with the both of them still, and just felt like I'm being used though. ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2014 at 10:11 PM ---------- There are closer friends to me than 1, we usually talk in class, we don't frequently text each other but in our school I'm the second best friend after 2. If 1 is with 2 I still have my clique to hang out with so its not much of a big deal, just that i felt used. ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2014 at 10:13 PM ---------- To clear some things up I'm not exactly her best friend though, her best friend is my crush and her clique, which 2, is the "leader" of it and when they fight, everyone in the clique just side with 2, and she comes to me
Hey girl!! Listen, I'm sorry you feel like your being used. It's not a good feeling and it's tough, I know. At times, I feel like that. With moving and making new friends. In the 7th grade, I only had few true friends. Everyone else used me just to get help on their homework. -_- I'm glad that is over. If you are feeling that way, just try your best to get to chill with them more. Try having sleepovers or hangouts on the weekends. All three of you. Hope this helps. If you wanna talk hun, just know I'm here for you. Love ya girl!! Wish you the best <3. - Esther Uhh...I think I got it but was just confused with all the numbers. xD
Yeah its not a good feeling, it kinda hurts. But still, thank you for your help i really appreciate it!!
Now it seems like whenever my table mate is around, 2 talk to me less. And when 1 is absent, 2 will talk to me often. Why is this so?
I am sorry you are going through this hun, I think you should be very clear and let your friend know that you are not getting into the middle of their petty arguments and perhaps have a talk with her about how you are feeling.. I think as well, if you feel you are being used by either one, then maybe steer clear of them and have some space.. You don't need to be dragged into the middle of their mess and feel like you are being used because one is not speaking to the other.
