Hey all I'm soon going to do some courses and that will be my first interaction with other group of people for a long time. I guess it'll be good to start making some friends despite my social anxiety, so I thought "Hey EC is a support forum, why not ask support from EC people for how to make friends". So how do YOU make friends ?
I'm not sure I'm a great authority on this subject, but I generally go the typical way of joining societies or groups I have an interest in. That way I know I'm guaranteed some common ground with these people which might compensate for my lack of social experience . Also, accept lots of invitations even if it's not something you'd really think of doing- I've found that when I take more chances when it comes to talking and accepting invitations to places, it can show people you're interested and if you share some things about you make them interested to find out more. For instance I went out to a taster for a society in a thing I've never done before. I liked the taster, but instantly afterwards I accepted their invitation for drinks at a nearby pub. This was something I wouldn't normally consider doing- usually once I've done whatever it is I went out to do, I just go back home. But I found I could have nice conversations with them and got a couple of numbers- it got me on the society's radar and means I could make friends there more readily. Also, I think making conversations a little more personal has helped me somewhat. Start simple and small, obviously, but if you're ready to share personal things (within reason) and make inside jokes then that can help. Otherwise... for all that wordiness, I wouldn't mind a couple tips myself haha
Talk to people on their walls. I'd be glad to chat with you if you'd like . Just ask questions and find supportive people. Thank them and start talking to them.
Thanks @sam some nice tips there! It would be hard for me going to a bar though that seem scary :O Also what would u do if someone ask u to hang out and u accept but that guy u find out - smokes ? (I can't be near smokers for health reasons) @Candace I kinda meant meeting people in RL, they dont have walls in RL (yet!! )
Maybe the best policy there is just to be honest, and politely say that you have health reasons which makes being around them while they're smoking a bad idea. As long as you make it clear you're not trying to piss them off or it's not that you don't like them, I think they should understand. In terms of the bars, maybe you could try going at less busy times with a small group of people to get accustomed? Or alternatively, one thing I prefer to bars etc. is going to restaurants with people. That way, there's not too much pressure to make conversation all the time, and you also have something to talk about: the restaurant. Plus it's a quieter setting than a bar, and I prefer quieter settings in general.
I don't know either, as I also suffer from social anxiety, etc. The only advice I have is to just be kind, and to expand on the topics that they bring up.
Just general politeness being friendly. Honestly is a good one nobody would want to be friends to a person who you cant trust.
I guess when meeting new people, just talk to them.. Just engage in friendly chit chat, get to know them and find out their interests, likes, dislikes.. I have new members of my team and work and although we don't get a lot of time to chat as we are working, you just talk when you can and find out about each other.. It is a little harder to go up to someone in the street and talk, however if you are at pub or club or even perhaps a library, or something like that, you could always just go and sit next to them or ask a question about something general and then just get to talking. Being kind and polite and treating people the way you wish to be treated also goes a long way as well.
