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Default I like someone of the same gender, and I am confused.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by milxs, Oct 28, 2014.

  1. milxs

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    I have been a hermit for all my life and I rarely get crushes. When I was 13, I had a crush on a girl but never managed to show any signs of affection to her. A year later, I dated a boy for about 3 years. I was broken when he left me and still feel strongly for him until early this year although we haven't talked to each other for nearly 4 years. During those 7 years, I have not been close with anyone else. No friends and families, I only have contact with work acquaintances.

    Early this month, I had a gym class with a female instructor with another gym members. I didn't feel any sense of attraction towards the instructor. In fact, I wished she wasn't the instructor as she was rather cold and hardly smile.

    During the second week, no other members were there so there were only the two of us. I was somehow intrigued by the way she talk. Saw her smile for the first time, she's got a beautiful smile! :icon_bigg I have never felt so happy after so many years after I broke up with my boyfriend. Hence I cancelled my plans for the following week just to attend her class.

    Unfortunately, she wasn't there and another instructor replaced her. I panicked and felt very worried. I kept on wondering if she is still working there.

    The next few days I overheard she was sick on that day and that the instructors for each fitness classes varies from day to day. I'm no gym junkie and I'm a busy person but I immediately fit all my available times for all the classes, hoping to see her again.

    I saw her today as I passed through her class. I missed that class but seeing her made me feel so relieved that she is still working there and on the other hand, I met her again at the end of my workout, she smiled (yay!) and said "hey". I smiled back and walked out.

    I have been thinking whether I limit my days in the gym as I do not want her to get bored of seeing me everyday there or if I should take the risk as I do not know which days, which time or which classes she will be conducting this week.

    Anyhow...
    What would you guys do if you were in my position? We both have never talked beside greetings. I like her and I think of her all the time, yet I do not have the gut to start a talk with her, to get to know her better. I don't know if she's straight, gay, single or taken. I don't even know her name :eusa_doh:
     
  2. Lady Boss

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    in my opinion i think u should just walk up to her and ask her do she have and plans after that class/weekends an maybe u to can hangout see how dat works out 4 u
     
  3. Candace

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    I mean, since she's your instructor, she may not feel alright with hanging out with one of her clients. That might be awkward on her part, but I don't know, that's probably just how I personally would see it. Try asking her and talking to her. Maybe you can form some sort of friendship to the point where you two can hang out.
     
  4. milxs

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    Thank you so much, this makes me feel more optimistic!
     
  5. anniebunnie

    anniebunnie Guest

    I would flirt and see if she reciprocates bc if she's straight there's really no point to develop a big crush if there's no chance.
    Maybe start with small compliments on her eyes, hair, outfit or something else like that then progress to more obvious flirting.
     
  6. milxs

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    Mmmh, that's not going to be easy since none of us have ever said anything beside "hi"s and "bye"s outside our training session.

    I realised that she smile to me only when no one else is there, but when she's around another staffs, none of us would even look at each other- just like today.

    Not sure what it means, it feels like there's a small chance that she likes me too considering that she doesn't smile much according to my observation. Or maybe she's just trying to be more friendly as I have been attending her sessions in a row.

    I'm socially awkward and it seems like she's not much of a talker too, so one of us have to
    start a convo. Since she's an instructor there, it'd be wiser for me to start the move. Most likely, she's not going to start a conversation with me any time soon. I'm not going too. I would love to deep inside, yet I can't. I can't just reveal the feeling unless I see some hints from her.

    I believe if we happen to get more chance to see each other or even another class where there's only the two of us, the talk will sure come naturally.
     
  7. anniebunnie

    anniebunnie Guest

    Hope it works out for you! :slight_smile:
     
  8. milxs

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    Thank you, I really hope so!

    Today we both finished at the same time and were walking towards the same direction for approximately an hour (hope she didn't think that I was following her). Both of us were on our headphones and no words were said (again!). In the middle of the journey during the traffic, I smiled at her, she waved and continued to stare at her phone, but we simply walked on our own for another 30 minutes on the same path. I tried not to look at her, yet every time I looked sideway, she appeared to be too busy on her phone.

    That didn't feel right, I'm loosing my hope. I got the feeling that she doesn't like me at all :icon_sad:
     
  9. jay777

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    As you describe it she is somewhat professional around customers...
    what about giving her a card telling her you would like to see her outside of the gym environment ?


    In general...what about taking courses in something you like... so you would meet people regularly and get to know them slowly ?