how did you deal with high school??

I was the 'emo' who had to spend a long time with the nurse and also the 'emo who hurt someone' with this in mind, people at my school hated 'emos' and i hit someone who was very popular so as you can imagine, i lived in the shadows, scared for my life.

 

Found a good close knit group of friends and I hope to use them to help me get through my last few years of education

 

I'm still in high-school, hate every minute of the judgmental place tbh. I'm rebellious I guess, with a tinge of good girl as long as the teachers aren't unnecessarily rude or assume that I'm depressed and send me to the school therapist... As for total of "real friends" in my school, 4 of them have never judged or said hurtful things to me, they're also the only 4 in my school who know I'm bi. I don't feel safe in my school at all, I'm unconventional I admit yes, I don't care for looks, or pretty clothes or appearances, but that has caused me to be on the receiving end of bullying, by girls and guys alike. Most bully me because I don't act like a normal girl and I speak my mind, if you piss me off, I will tell you off. So yeah, and how I cope is pretty much just ignore the people I don't care for and know don't care for me, keep my head down, try to keep my mouth shut and control my temper. (That last one proving to be the hardest.) And Do not get me started on the gossip in my school...

 

The way to survive in high school it's all about perspective

 

High School wasn't that bad for me i had fun moments there i had a few friends but mostly everyone liked me and was my "Friend" because i was the class clown as soon school ended so did my friends.

 

I simply tried not to be psychologically destroyed by sexist abuse while maintaining my grades.

I succeeded at the maintaining grades part.

I'm not sure that I succeeded at psychologically preserving myself. I'm pretty warped now...

~ Adrienne

 

Bullying hardly occurs in my perspective. We don't give people trouble, they don't give us trouble.

Found a really good group of friends to back me up

 

Then a lot has changed in eight years. I'm happy for all of us. (*hug*)

 

I went to a few high schools, due to disciplinary problems, but each time, I was always the bully. At my best, I was the neutral fellow, everybody left alone for the most part. I, pretty much, pushed and conned my way through.

But some basic tips:
+ If you are being bullied, always stay in a group. This discourages it, greatly.
+ When confronted by somebody giving you a hard time, make sure to provide proof of it. Unfortunately, a lot of school systems dismiss 'he said-she said' evidence.
+ Don't worry about making an impression upon people, in superficial means. This might give you 3-4 years of relative peace and likability, but that's it. Superficial doesn't net you many genuine friends, outside of high school. Start early, build a positive reputation, for being genuine, honest, and fun. Provide positive and acceptance, to those you meet, and eventually, you'll become surrounded by like-minded individuals. You will always show people, even if they don't show it then, that being who you are, is very important.

+ Homework is annoying. You might even feel, what you are assigned, has nothing to do with what you want. But don't just dismiss it, don't let your grades suffer, at least not without making an effort. If you need help, approach the teacher, or somebody that teaches/knows the subject, and learn. Even if you can't learn it, your efforts will be acknowledged, and this is an acceptable alternative. You'll have the teacher on your side, because you are an actual example, of a positive teaching experience.

+ It often isn't about the work assigned, it is more about doing the work assigned. Following directions, unfortunately, has turned a lot of schools, especially in America, into a do-as-you-are-told-producing factory, and discouraging rebellious and innovative thinking. Do your work, as much as you can -- you may not learn how to do the work, but you can learn vital social skills, such as communication (asking for help), exchanging ideas (what you know vs what another knows), and bargaining (providing a service in return for their aid) -- vital skills, that the 'real world' requires to live in it.

+ Don't be afraid to stand up, if you see injustice or a wrong-doing. Silence is all bullies/offenders need, to continue, because it assures them -- proves to them -- that this is okay. And why wouldn't it be? Nobody is reprimanding them. If someone is being picked on, or looks uncomfortable, offer to help. Be a listening ear, a soothing word, just something that, quite sadly, most high school students never receive, inside those educational corridors.
+ Find good people, who are good company, and provide good vibes. Relish in this, and strengthen it, so that you can handle life, much easier. Be concerned, do good, and hang in there. One day, you will toss your cap into the air, and you are done. Memories will fade, and perhaps names and faces vanish, but one thing will always remain:

People might forget your name, but they will never forget how you made them feel.




Inspirational tidbits said, I suppose you want me to answer your questions.




If you are still in high school or your not you can tell me how was\is your situation there?
I'm not in high school anymore, obviously. Also, I believe this was answered already.

Was it safe?
For the most part. Nobody was bringing guns into the school, or stabbing people. But drugs, bullying, and social cliques, were a significant set of problems.

Were you comfortable?
For the most part, yes. I rarely allowed myself to feel uncomfortable, especially in public.

Were people all nice to you?
Technically, yes. But most were afraid of me, or felt intimidated. The few exceptions, were just nice people, who meant well. Teachers were neutral towards me, until I decided if I liked them or not. If I did, they found me a bit difficult, but capable. If I did not, well, they tended to send me to the office, or ship me off to detention.

How open was you?
Not very. People knew of me, and a little about me, but that was it. I never really discussed my feelings, beyond a surface level, and I rarely talked about my interpersonal thoughts, beyond a sensible level.

What is that thing that most people pick on you because of it?
In high school, nobody openly picked on me seriously. Those who did, they stopped. I'll leave it at that. But, I am sure, people talked about how mean and problematic I was. They might have called me 'a punk' or 'a bitch', behind my back. But nothing face-to-face, or openly.

How many friends you had are they all supporting and good?
Technically, I had no friends. I just had temporary collections of people, who gravitated towards me, for one reason or another. It wasn't until, close to the end of high school, that I started warming up to others. But by then, it was too late.

For their various periods of time with me, yes, the people around me were supporting and good. Not so much, because they wanted to, but more so, to divert my attention from them. They would have rather witnessed misfortune on others, than have it befall themselves, basically.

What type of student are you?
Goth + Punk + Bully + Slacker = Me.

I liked dark colors (black trenchcoat, baby), anti-authority, having a good time at the expense of others, and tended to only ace tests, barely passing my classes with a D average. For topics I enjoyed, like History, I naturally did well in. It was kind of hard not to. Overall, my grade point average, would probably be a C.

Near the end, I was able to get along with most everyone. I tended to hang out with all the cliques, save the really preppy individuals. I could chill with prep lite, but nothing above that, because they didn't like my attitude or style.

 

I'm still a lowly freshman. I have a group of friends that are ready to back me up, as well as my brother, in case things start to get cray.

I'm not out to everyone, because then I might get(Literally) hit by a Bible.

Or given one.

Or be berated on how I'm going to go to Hell.

You know, regular Bible Belt procedure.

 

If you are still in high school or your not you can tell me how was\is your situation there?
I'm not in high school anymore. Even when I was there, I wasn't there. I didn't skip class or anything, but I was really mentally distant and disconnected from the whole experience. Except science, it's my favorite subject, and the only one I really paid any attention in.

Was it safe?
In general, yeah. I went to a public school in the burbs. We had our cliques, though they were less prominant than in other schools actually. Lots of drug use, mostly by the rich kids.

Were you comfortable?
No. But the more I think about it, the more I think that it had less to do with school, and more to do with the place I was in at that time, mentally and emotionally. I was uncomfortable everywhere, all the time. I was dealing with self-harm back then, cutting mostly, and suppressing my gender identity - I was aware I wasn't female, but I didn't realise I was trans. It was like living in limbo.

Were people all nice to you?
No. Near the end of high school, some of them came around and were alright. Most people ignored me, some were particularly mean to me. It only ever got a little physical, I was only ever in one fight, mostly it was just verbal. I'm generally non-confrontational, so I tried to keep out of situations most of the time. The teachers generally liked me, though they all gave me the same lecture about how if I did my work I'd get straight A's, which got old fast.

I feel like it was partially a matter of class, and partially a matter of me just being "different". Most of the student body there came from wealthy families, and we were often in a position where we were living check to check, so there's always been a level of disconnect there.

How open was you?
Hardly. I kept strongly to myself, which is how I like it.

What is that thing that most people pick on you because of it?
Nothing serious. Just your classic "freak" "weirdo" shit, nothing that actually concerned me. The stranger remarks I got involved whether or not I drank blood or communicated with the dead. And of course, there was a lot of debate about my sexuality for some reason.

How many friends you had are they all supporting and good?
I had a handful of friends. Most of them were more like aquaintances, really. There were very few people I was actually close with, and the ones I was closest to have all left me by now.

They were all supportive, or at least friendly enough. I don't waste time on people that are two-faced or mean.

What type of student are you?
You know that one kid in class that always sits in the back and rarely does their homework and generally has a no-fucks-given attitude, and yet somehow always knows what's going on and aces every test? The one that's often reading other material, but is still able to answer the teachers questions without hesitation if they get tossed one in class? That was me, that weird, silent slacker genius type.

Socially, I was an outcast. I was that goth kid, so some people found me intimidating, and others found me too weird to bother with. For as much as I was ignored, there was a lot of debate about me among my peers, evidently. My sexuality was a hot question. I was assumed to be a lesbian since I was young because I've always been a tomboy - even when I was presenting feminine, there was something distincly un-feminine about me, and you know how stereotypes are. Comically enough, the assumption stood long after I started dating boys, and continued to not check out girls. Then there was the stir I caused with my occult books, which was hilarious.

 

Academically, I did great. I buried myself in my books. I got salutatorian, more because everyone slack of senior year in our class of 20.

I had zero friends and was bullied though. Safe? Mentally not at all. Physically, I suppose it was safe most of the time unless I was tripped or had a flashlight shined in my eyes.

The most disturbing part was a lot of the lies we were taught about sex. Yes, it was a Christian school. "You're all the same size down there, guys." Ehh no, no we're not.

 

I refused to deal with it. I repressed every miserable experience I had in high school and isolated myself surviving via escapism and an online network of friends who provided me with everything my home community failed to.

As a result I gained nothing of value from my entire high school career and am still dealing with the repercussions of that. I don't think there was any other outcome for me though.

 

For me, high school was fun. Now I know that's not the case for everyone, but for the right-wing hellhole of a small town that I grew up in, coming out wasn't as hard/scary as I thought it was going to be. People were a lot more accepting and the school's administration had really pushed over the past several years to make the school system better for LGBT students.

I really didn't fit into any of the cliques in high school, yet my humor was well-taken by most of them, and I think that's why I had it easier than some of my fellow gay classmates. My boyfriend and I were two of give or take 6 openly gay guys, and there were three out lesbians that I knew of. This next part is nothing more than my own introspection, but while some people shut people up with their fists, and others were bullied mercilessly, I shut people up with my humor. There was one kid my freshman year that was afraid of me because he thought I might be gay (and I was still pretty confused about my sexuality at that point) and by the time we graduated, he actually had some respect for me.

I think it is what you make of it, and you'd better enjoy it while you can, because boy does it go by fast.

 

It was no big deal and I had a decent time as well, it's not as fun as college but still it was quite good.

 

High School was pure hell for me. I was outted in 9th grade by a teacher, subsequently went back into the closet and spent the next four (plus many more) painful years "striving" to be straight and failing at every turn.

 

For the most part, I didn't. I couldn't deal with it. It got so bad that I was once pulled out due to the bullying and the actions I took after being bullied. I never had a good friend in HS. It was all just a group of people who where basically frienemies and I was kicked out of the group 3 weeks later. By the time I had to repeat grade 9 for the third time, I told myself that this was it. I had to get through it and I had to commit, so I did. Though what ultimately saved me was music and journals. Whenever I finished one journal, I would be on to the next and from there. Just writing every single thought in my head out on paper where no one could see. Things that didn't really matter. Things that where just for me personally. Things that I felt I couldn't tell others.. anything.

 

I simply just went there to get good grades and talk to maybe 4-5 people. I really didn't have a lot of friends in high school, not that I wanted to be popular. I never really had a problem with my sexuality at all since I wasn't looking to dating anyone regardless. So...that was always kept secret.

 

You study and try to get good grades and some well-thought-of extracurricular activities on the books so you can go to a good college. Then you do the same thing in college. Then your real life begins.