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Gay Neighborhoods

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by OGS, Nov 1, 2014.

  1. OGS

    OGS
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    So I'm curious what people on the board think about gay neighborhoods. The San Francisco thread sort of got me thinking. I've lived in gay neighborhoods for most of my adult life. In my twenties it sometimes felt like I didn't even know any straight people. That certainly isn't the case any more. In the job I've been in for the last eight years I seem to be the only out gay person not only in the office but in the district and I believe the market. Plus the neighborhood I live in now (we bought a home nine years ago), while I still consider it a gay neighborhood, is probably only half gay (which probably still seems pretty gay to most people:lol:slight_smile:. I've visited predominantly gay neighborhoods all over the country and tended to feel comfortable and like many of them would be very nice places to live. I tend to think that even if I was straight--although who knows I might be a totally different person if I was--I would like these neighborhoods. In my experience they tend to be urban but clean, friendly, predominantly pedestrian neighborhoods with lots of little shops and restaurants--pretty much what I think I would look for even if I was straight.

    I know there are some thoughts out there--I've seen the word ghetto thrown around a bit--so I figured I would try to open up the discussion. Have you ever lived in a gay neighborhood? ever visited one? wouldn't be caught dead in one? Tell us all about it.
     
  2. anniebunnie

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    Woah didn't know there were such places. Would definitely love to visit one some day!
     
    #2 anniebunnie, Nov 1, 2014
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  3. joshtheangel

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    Nope, there are only 3 or 4 gays in my village and I'm the only one who is in my age group.

    I don't think there are any gay neighbourhoods around here at all :frowning2:
     
  4. Tightrope

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    They serve a purpose. They can be a "safe" place to live where people don't care who you are or what you do. They can give off a promiscuous, hedonistic vibe. They can even be a side show of shorts to "outsiders." You know how there are always attractive and not so attractive straight women who wander into gay villages either to ogle the men, as in "I can't believe it," or to drink, dance, and not be hit on.

    In short, gay villages present sensory overload, at least to me. A lot of people who move into them are in fact in a "phase" of sorts - the gay village phase. They want all of a gayborhood's amenities close at hand, to partake, socialize, and be involved, and then, when they are burnt out on the whole thing, they move someplace more sedate but still tolerant enough. The iconic Castro is sort of a revolving door this way.

    I like to live where I like to live. I like to live where there are trees, there are ample shopping and eating places with parking, it's a little newer, and quiet. That's how I've picked where I was going to live even just after finishing college. Those were my criteria then and those are my criteria now.

    If you want to, or need to, you can always go visit a gay neighborhood or village and then leave after finishing your eating, drinking, socializing, or sowing your wild oats.
     
  5. AAASAS

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    They're sort of disappearing. At least were I live. I used to deliver furniture in the gay areas of Toronto and they really weren't that much more gay than the rest of the city. Ya a little bit more visible, but you still see pride flags and gay people all over.

    I personally would never want to live in one because I find the idea of a neighbourhood based on sexuality to be a little perverse.

    I also don't like communities that one type of immigrant flocks too, so I'm not being homophobic. I don't like the idea of people banding together based on one insignificant aspect of themselves.
     
  6. 741852963

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    Ghettoization does come to mind for me. I do appreciate that some people might "need" communities like these for support or for a sense of belonging, but I don't think its a long term solution to achieving personal confidence or fighting homophobia.

    I've visited a couple and if I had to describe them I'd use the words: artificial, sheltered and (perhaps somewhat ironically) closeted.

    I think in life we achieve most when we are challenged or uncomfortable. Integration and staking our part in society can be painful and dangerous, but is really the only way things are going to change for LGBT people. If all gay people lived together in these small "cliquey" communes you would only end up with a situation where heterosexual people became ignorant and uninformed about gay people, or feared or hated them due to their "otherness".
     
  7. SemiCharmedLife

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    I live in the most alternative, funky, liberal neighborhood in my city (yes, that exists in Kentucky). It's not a gay neighborhood per se but there are a couple of gay bars and I see a lot of equality bumper stickers. I feel like we've gone from having "gay neighborhoods" to "neighborhoods where there are a lot of gay people." And yes there's a difference.
     
  8. OnTheHighway

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    I live within a 15 minute walk of one of the multiple gay neighborhoods in London. I rather live a bit outside of a neighborhood and have the option to go for a dinner and drinks. I do not need the constant atmosphere, but I like it if I am in the mood.

    As well, for PDA, it's the only place my partner is willing to hold hands in public, and even then, he hesitates.
     
  9. Incognito10

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    I like "gay neighborhoods" but not for some of the reasons people probably like them (gay bars, clubs etc.). I like them for reasons mentioned in the OP--pedestrian friendly, diversity (free to be myself), eclectic mix of interesting shops, historic buildings that have been restored, educated people.
     
  10. greatwhale

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    What struck me most about our own wonderful Gay Village is that it is so new. It really only started to develop in a formerly shoddy part of town about 31-32 years ago. It was in direct response to the various difficulties of having places where gay people could gather, and the various police raids that took place there. There are several dwellings that surround the village, both north and south, so there is a fairly large amount of people who actually live in the area.

    The most common reason most choose to live there is to feel safe. Ironically, because it is well-known, there have also been the occasional bigoted morons who venture in to cause trouble. There have also been crime and drug problems, but the community has been working with the police to solve this and it seems to be working, which is really quite ironic because I distinctly remember all those years ago when the police were the problem (raids on bathhouses and such).

    Sadly, a noticeable number of businesses have closed lately. It has been attributed to a variety of factors, not the least of which is the economy. These are after all establishments that depend on people's disposable income, which has declined since the recession. Moreover, certain location-based dating apps have also diminished the need for people to meet in person, several gay bars and bathhouses in North America have closed as a result. Lately, many LGBT folk consider it a virtue to be "hors-village" (outside the village) for various reasons (discretion or even a perverse snobbery, perhaps), for example, lesbians now generally congregate in areas about 1-2 km north of the Village.

    So the question arises, will these neighbourhoods disappear with these economic and technological challenges? Will the greater acceptance of LGBT communities also diminish the need for a safe place? I think it is too soon to tell. Today, our Village is vibrant, the streets are still closed to traffic to allow the large number of pedestrians to congregate there every summer, and a 1.5 km canopy of pink plastic spheres are still hung along Ste. Catherine street (paid for by the local businesses).
     
  11. OGS

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    It's kind of funny in our city we have two gay neighborhoods the one for the young and the single and the one for the older and coupled--you do sort of graduate from the one to the other.:lol:
     
  12. Bolt35

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    ehhh i live in a part of town where there's the "second highest" LGBT individuals in the neighborhood, both in and out the closet. i kind of find it creepy in a way that a lot of older men approach me in a very unusual manner. that's only when you dig deeper into the community. you don't really notice it as much around here, being that it's one of the most diverse boroughs in the entire world. i don't get to meet people around my age and when i do, they aren't really in the right state of mind.....but that's just me though.
     
  13. OGS

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    First off, my apologies, I don't know how to multi-quote:

    I guess I can see where you are coming from and I think if you managed to live your whole life in the bubble maybe it would be a powerful critique. But I actually think there's something really beneficial in doing it for a while. Like I said there was a while in my twenties where I hardly even knew any straight people and what I feel it did for me was it normalized the whole thing about being gay. It didn't just show me that there was nothing wrong with it, it made it feel normal, really normal. And I guess by that what I mean is when it comes out that I am gay I fully expect it to be a non-issue. And I don't mean by this I think it should be I mean I think it will be. I don't brace myself, I don't wonder what people might think. I work in a setting where almost no one is gay, for many of my coworkers it seems I am the first gay person they have known well--my family is in Utah, my partner's in Oklahoma and we visit regularly--and still that sense deep in my heart that it's normal and the full expectation that it be a non-issue persists. I'm sure there are other paths to that same place but the gayborhood was the path I took.

    The other reason I feel that even later in life, when I don't go out nearly as often as I used to, I like being in a largely gay neighborhood is that for me it feels like home. Yes, life is difficult and sometimes contentious and sometimes it's those very qualities that cause us to strive and grow, but I still feel that for everyone there should be a place of sanctuary--your home, your family, your community, something that recharges your batteries to go out there and fight the good fight. For me being here with my partner surrounded by my brothers and sisters in the community does that--and I am grateful for the opportunity to live somewhere that does that for me.

    The last thing I will say is that, partly as a result of living in the neighborhoods I have I honestly feel like the gay community is my community--something that I hear over and over on this board others don't feel. Somehow I think it's easier to feel that sense of community if you at least once in your life have that sense of literal, geographical community. I can't help but think that at least from what I've read I may be one of the only people on the forum who has lived a substantial amount of time in gay neighborhoods and it often seems to me that I am one of the only people on the board who has had an almost entirely positive relationship to the gay community--I suppose it could be a coincidence but I'm not convinced...
     
    #13 OGS, Nov 1, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2014
  14. Incognito10

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    I think this is true. I read an article not so long ago that discussed gayborhoods decreasing (in the US) because overall societal acceptance is ever increasing, so there's not the need to go to a particular neighborhood to feel safe and have fun, nowadays it seems to be more about integration into society. Also, technology is a huge factor--you can interact with other gays via online and apps.