Being a better person

[Jeimuzu]

Summer has ended, and with it I'm settling back down after the amazing experience of freedom that I was given the chance to take, that's had such an effect on me. One of these days, I'll make a webpage about it, with photos and everything.

This thread is a combination of reminiscing and advice;

This summer has been the greatest summer of my life. The greatest three months of my life at all, in fact.
Last year, I went to a festival, and just put on weight by eating and sitting on my ass all the rest of the time.

Earlier this year, I was bored, I'd suffered from low self-esteem my entire life, I had issues about my future, I was miserably single. I decided to do something to take me out of my comfort zone. So I signed up for the first thing that took my fancy, not even thinking about whether I would be good at it. Just wanting to do it was enough. It was an agency that places people from all over the world at summer camps in the USA. The day after I signed up, I went to a job fair, and was offered a contract within five minutes of my interview. It was the position of Computing Counselor at a camp for homeless children in upstate New York.

This was the start of something special. I finished my exams - full passes =] - and jetted off. It was hard. It was independant. I had to rely on myself and my own abilities, and had to pull my weight, and that is exactly what I did. I met some wonderful people, did some wonderful things, had some amazing times and some incredible experiences, and totally changed myself. There were hardships, of course. And I defeated them. I took them on and I conquered my fears, my doubts, and my problems, because I had no choice. After camp I went to New York and San Francisco, flying across America on my own without having to think about what anyone else wanted, just knowing that I was satisfying my urge to live. I again saw some amazing things. I'll post some photos eventually. I lost a lot of weight, too, because of all the activities.

I eventually arrived home, almost 12 weeks after I left. My room has been redecorated, I have made a few changes and have a much more productive and pleasant living environment. I swapped basses with a friend of mine and rediscovered my love for the instrument. And best of all, I found Kiwi, the cute, funny, caring, sweet and active boy who is now my boyfriend. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had. I just had a wonderful day. It wasn't even that amazing, just really happy. He came to my house, and we spent our time eating takeaway, watching TV, and making out.

It's so simple. Takeaway and TV is something I'd do myself. It's the company that made it amazing, and I love being around him. He's cute, cuddly, warm, and... I dunno, I even recognise his smell, just the mix of his soap and shampoo I guess, and I even find that adorable.

I've gone from being a cowering teen, awkward and self-doubting, not in great shape and not really enjoying life, to a self-confident 20 year old in much better shape, with a love for life, plans for the future, and knowledge of how to carry those plans out.

Are you what I used to be? You CAN change yourself. I know there will be some of you who were like me out there, I'm certain of it. You're young here, you have time, just like I did. I didn't realise it, but I did. Bite the bullet, you'll have to do it eventually and you won't enjoy life until you do. If you want to do something great, but you think "No, that's for amazing people, not me..." then you're wrong. These people are amazing because when you grab life by the horns, it makes you into an amazing person. It takes you and forces you to show your worth, and brings out the hidden depths of talent inside you.

If you're still sat there thinking "No, I don't have those hidden depths of talent, I'm rubbish at life," I'll tell you something. My cousin is an ex-criminal. He's responsible for a couple of awful things. Not murder, but bad.

He spent the summer of 2007 in South America working with young kids suffering from poverty. They adored him, so I guess he has a depth of character beyond his transgressions. But regardless of this depth of character, if he could do it I bloody well can. I'm a good student, I'm intelligent, I'm practical, and I've got not a single speck on my criminal record. If he can do it... I know I can. And so can you.

I want to ask you, guys and girls... post in this thread what you dream of doing. I want to know, and then I want to know why you haven't done it yet.

[TriBi]

No - I'm not going to post about what I 'can' do - because I (a long time ago) got out of my comfort zone, went travelling (around the world a couple of times in the end) - and went from being a grey little guy living a grey little life - to someone in love with life who was prepared to try anything.

Now? - I've been a lot of places, I've done a lot of things (life/career/sport/travel - you name it) that I would have never envisaged - and I've had a ball and I'm happy.

So? - I agree with you totally. ...and having seen you posting here (and elsewhere) for quite some time, I got a real 'feelgood' moment reading your post. Not only can I relate - I'm incredibly happy for YOU.

Great post, BTW...

[Jeimuzu]

Awesome! =D I'm glad you've done similar things to what I have, about the comfort zone, because it works incredibly well. It's better than all the anti-depressants and self-help books in the world. I'm already making plans for my next venture, whether it's to various parts of Europe with nothing more than my backpack, my wallet, and a phrasebook, or whether I should join the JET program, or whether to go back to America, or some conservation work...

Well i guess your just perfect aren't you?

[Jeimuzu]

Originally Posted by Loveless

Well i guess your just perfect aren't you?

Nope. But I'm happy, and that's vastly preferable.

[TriBi]

Originally Posted by Jeimuzu

I want to ask you, guys and girls... post in this thread what you dream of doing. I want to know, and then I want to know why you haven't done it yet.

And now - back to the original question

[Jim1454]

I want to drive Hwy 1 in California - along the Pacific Coast.

Why haven't I done it? I know now that I've been living my life for other people, in a way that I thought others wanted me to live it. I've stopped doing that now.

The likelyhood of doing it now has improved vastly! I'm now entitled to 4 weeks of vacation at work - and I get a bonus week next year!!! Plus - I've got air miles saved that can take my bf and me to San Fran and back. So it's a matter now of committing to a time - coordinating our schedules, and going. I KNOW this is going to happen now. And I can't wait!

I think it's awesome that you've had such an amazing and life-changing summer. Good for you! I hope others find inspiration in your story - and see it as that - because I know that's why you're sharing it. Good for you!

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

I want to be a terrific actor and make really worthwhile drama.

I want to visit and maybe live in China and Japan. I want to be fluent in their languages.

I want to make myself a really good person and help others in this world. I want to use this precious life to improve things.

And I hope I'm starting my way on those things... seeing as I'm only 15, I haven't got that far yet. But I'm trying.

Great, inspiring post, Jeimuzu. Thanks!

[Jeimuzu]

Originally Posted by Psychedelic Bookmarks

I want to be a terrific actor and make really worthwhile drama.

I want to visit and maybe live in China and Japan. I want to be fluent in their languages.

I want to make myself a really good person and help others in this world. I want to use this precious life to improve things.

And I hope I'm starting my way on those things... seeing as I'm only 15, I haven't got that far yet. But I'm trying.

Great, inspiring post, Jeimuzu. Thanks!

Well, I can actually advise you on a combination of two of those, the helping others, and the living in Japan. Have you ever heard of the JET program?

You do not need to speak Japanese, in fact it's apparently preferable if you don't. You teach conversational English to students in Japanese schools. It's more of a graduate program, but it's something to work towards in the future. I'm going to a presentation on it on October the 15th. If I remember, I'll post some details on it when I've been.

It's good that you have such excellent dreams and you have the urge to make them reality. At 15, I didn't, or moreover I didn't know what any of them were. Now I know, I'm making them reality. Obviously, I'm happy at home right now, but when I want to travel again, I will not hesitate. I don't think it's good to let life get in the way of living, so to speak.

Good luck with those! If you want any advice on anything, I'm always happy to say what I can. =]

[Jeimuzu]

Originally Posted by Jim1454

I want to drive Hwy 1 in California - along the Pacific Coast.

Why haven't I done it? I know now that I've been living my life for other people, in a way that I thought others wanted me to live it. I've stopped doing that now.

The likelyhood of doing it now has improved vastly! I'm now entitled to 4 weeks of vacation at work - and I get a bonus week next year!!! Plus - I've got air miles saved that can take my bf and me to San Fran and back. So it's a matter now of committing to a time - coordinating our schedules, and going. I KNOW this is going to happen now. And I can't wait!

I think it's awesome that you've had such an amazing and life-changing summer. Good for you! I hope others find inspiration in your story - and see it as that - because I know that's why you're sharing it. Good for you!

I'm glad you've found ways to live your life that allow you to play out a dream of yours! =D I'd love to go back to San Francisco, it's a wonderful place. Obviously, very gay friendly, but more because it's just an interesting place. Tiring to walk around though. i want to go to Yosemite too, I didn't get chance this summer. I'll do that eventually though, I know I will. I trust myself now. If you get the chance, go there. It sounds stunning.

It's so tedious when you can't fulfill your dreams. But without dreams, life isn't worth living, and when people decide "To hell with it, I'll take my chances..." Well, the consequences are rarely as bad as people fear. There's not much you can do to a person that's worse than taking away their dreams, if I'm honest. I'm happier than ever, and I've still got a huge amount of dreams to get through.

I should make a documentary. ;]