Women go for "bad boys"?

Only bitches go for aholes

---------- Post added 1st Nov 2014 at 03:32 PM ----------

There are superficial girls out there but the majority aren't

 

A lot of women are drawn to confidence, mystery, and excitement. It's just that a lot of these "bad boys" also carry these traits, and between those and some guy who stays home all day whining about never getting laid, a lot will go with the first option. If you don't put in the work, you shouldn't complain. Period.

And I don't see it any more superficial than guys judging others on looks, while ignoring everyone else who isn't a perfect ten. You could argue that women pay more attention to things like finances and personality, overall, and that makes it seem less shallow and more holistic in their choice of partners. Just being good looking isn't enough. I think a lot of them grow out of chasing bad boys eventually, and of course, some never have an interest in the first place!

 

When I was at University, this discussion came up amongst a group of us during a lunch break. A few fellas decided to prove that women love men who treat them badly by doing it. We sat and watched as almost every woman approached responded favourably when they weren't treated respectfully and showed no interest when they were treated equally. :icon_sad:

The women at our table were shocked to see just how many women responded to that social experiment. One woman who likes the bad boy told us that it's because they want excitement, not a boring guy. I can't see how being treated like rubbish is exciting and how were they raised???

 

Men call other men assholes when women won't sleep with them because they're infinitely more boring.

Most men who complain about women only choosing bad boys tend to be both boring and horrible people, be it misogyny, personal emotional underdevelopment, clinginess eyc.

 

Every girl wants a bad boy who'll be nice just for her, every guy wants a good girl who'll be bad just for him. (I believe that's how the saying goes). That being said, not all 'bad boys are assholes to girls. Some are, but some women are just attracted to the 'bad boy' look or reputation. I think some react better when treated worse because we're biologically wired to seek new challenges, and it's harder to gain approval from someone who's an asshole, meaning that they keep trying to impress them. :/ I dunno. Women are confusing xx

 

was going to suggest that most women these days go for bad....girls lol

 

It's not being shy or ugly that's the problem, it's the attitude a lot of these so-called "nice guys" have. They feel entitled to having sex with many hot women, but pretend to be somehow better than the bad boys and jerks women go around chasing. It turns out, they're not so nice, after all, but unlike the a-holes they love to complain about and blame, they're not so open with their intentions.

At least, that's my definition. There are genuine guys out there who are nice, but they don't make it a point to constantly remind everyone of how nice they are. Why should they? It shows in their actions. I also think you can totally be confident and nice at the same time, which a lot of women (not high school or college age girls) would probably find ideal.

I'm also not sure how it's any more superficial and revolting than how men expect their partners to look. There's a reason why horrible body images and eating disorders run so rampant in straight females and gay men. Breast implants are practically a non-issue among lesbians.

There's also the fact that these girls might see bad boys as a sort of "personal project", wanting to take up the challenge and change them into their ideal prince.

 

We're still not entirely agreed over what constitutes an "asshole" in this situation, I think. For the most part, it tends to mean "a guy who has a girlfriend/sexual partner I want to date."

You think that the cool people you have a grudge against are incapable of thought? Perhaps your environment is different, but I know a few "assholes" according to disgruntled guys who were brilliant charmers, and the comparison wasn't favourable for the guy complaining that the woman chose the wrong man.

I really contest that the guy complaining about someone making a choice with whom they date deserves sympathy automatically, especially when there is really no truth in the statement that they're usually the more interesting ones.

 

This.
Also, I see a lot of those ''nice guys'' calling other men ''bad boys'' when they barely know them. So just because a guy is self-confident or is someone you don't like he's supposed to be an asshole?

 

*shrugs* I'm not one of these women, so I can't say, but my guess is that "ideals" are either extremely rare (especially at that age), or don't exist (otherwise, romance novels wouldn't be so popular), so they tend to go for guys who have "potential". I'm not sure whats so nefarious about wanting your partner to become a better, more well-rounded person. Imagine if everyone stayed the same - relationships wouldn't last, or grow.

Sometimes the guys change, sometimes they don't. I agree that it's a bit immature of young women to go chasing bad boys specifically with the goal of turning them into some family man, just like it is for young men to see who can have the most sex, or catch the hottest piece of eye candy. Again, most grow out of it.

 

Not always regarding line 1. They're just a different type whose "value" is not as appreciated earlier on. Their "value" is appreciated later on. That is what they are complaining about. There are numerous studies on this very issue and there is some truth to it. It's not completely true, but there is some truth to it.

---------- Post added 1st Nov 2014 at 03:26 PM ----------

I agree with this. The reason the "bad" boy is alluring is because he can "hunt" better than the good guy can. It's almost a primal thing. Most "good," or passive, or easy going guys tend to end up with more domineering women to balance things out. The thing is that once a lot of women get past the bad boy phase, a lot of the more stable guys they ultimately would let into their lives aren't interested in them.

 

I think if you have nothing to originally offer, yet expect women to come to you on the vague and perhaps unlikely promise that you offer a great deal in the long-run, you're not doing it rightly and it's really not fair to complain about the shallowness of women in that case.

Offering nothing visible or certain is not going to get you anywhere, especially when you turn the blame around when small or no interest is shown.

 

A lot of this also depends on age ranges - we could be talking 16 to 26, 26 to 36, or even a larger span like 16 to 36. I've seen people change drastically. A person may evolve and carry some bitterness. A person may not evolve and be in denial, thinking they have. A person (the non "bad boy") could also be "interesting" to certain types of women but not to others at all these various stages. I've seen what happens. They stay single, they marry late for the first time and it goes smoothly because they settle into having nested, they marry late for the first time and it falls apart very quickly, they might try other sexual avenues ... all sorts of things. What I'm saying is that, for some, the gripe is somewhat legitimate and, for others, it is not. Nothing more ... nothing less.

 

Sometimes, people mistake arrogance for confidence, being a player for charm, and a lack of consideration for opinionated. Immaturity is usually the culprit, or a lack of social experience.

Sometimes, people want to "be that special exception" to somebody, or nurture them like some romance novel, until said somebody becomes Prince/Princess Charming. Some even want to get an ego boost, and "improve" the person, because they themselves lack strong confidence.

Sometimes, an individual may get with a "bad boy/girl", not for a healthy reason, but because they, in comparison, will always be perceived as the better/more desirable one; instead of having to compete, or work alongside another, all they have to do is stand at the side. Automatically, people will, according to these individuals, believe them to be a better person.

Having been the "bad person", for a good few years, I can tell you. As naive as some folks are, when it comes to knowing the difference between, say, arrogance and confidence, folks do know, the difference between "bad boy/girl" and "bad news". Everybody has a limit -- I tended to be that limit, though, at times, I could tell, folks were intrigued.

All that said, Aussie792 and gravechild, both, have it lined up. Many (not all) of the so-called "nice guys", are indecisive, emotionally immature, and lacking incentive, to do much of anything. For one thing, all they do is sit around and complain, which is their right, I suppose, but if you never put yourself out there, to be seen, why bitch and bicker about not being seen?

 

*sighs* It just seems the majority of tomboyish, domineering, or butch women I'm interested are either into women, or guys who are stereotypically masculine, and especially more so than they themselves. Same with twinkish guys, who seem to want "real men". Haha, now I'm starting to sound like a nice guy... not that I'm complaining - being single rocks, and I've had my fair share of relationship drama. :lol:

 

Women don’t love jerks, but they DO love bad boys: men who act like jerks but really aren’t.
Women wants and love if the bad boys turn into a good only for them.

And bad boys wants a good gurl turn into 'bad girl' only for them. If u know what I mean.

 

I was looking for that article on a study they did. I wonder if they've done more of them and I wonder how good the methodology was.

Why Women Choose Bad Boys

I think the person commenting doesn't know what a bad boy is. George Clooney or James Bond? Seriously? I think of them as debonair. Bad boys are more like the everyday and not famous look-alikes of Johnny Depp or Vin Diesel, if even that.