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Ever denied being gay?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by UniqueButch89, Nov 3, 2014.

  1. UniqueButch89

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    I want your opinions. This girl I like claims she is straight.

    She stares at me a lot. She put her feet up on me the other day, but I had a pillow in my lap. Once when I leaned back to relax on the couch, she quick put a pillow behind my back. There has been a couple times we sat next to each other and her foot got really close to me, almost touching my leg. She initiates conversations sometimes. She sticks up for me sometimes. We have a lot in common. She brings up how guys online can be really immature and dumb. She always hears what I have to say over everyone else. Like gives me a little extra attention. She laughs a lot when I am around. She thinks I am hilarious and can be slightly playful.

    Her best friend doesn't think she is bi/lesbian. My friends who are gay get vibes she's at least bicurious. I can't tell if I am over looking it or if she really likes me.

    Is this out of my league? Is there any possible signs she likes me but is in denial herself?
     
  2. NingyoBroken

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    I've actually denied being pan by saying I'm gay.

    Weird huh
     
  3. stocking

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    Yes I have denied being a lesbian many times in my life even recently I lied to my mom and a few people and told them I was straight .
    I also lied to myself and said that the sexual attraction to women i had didn't count .
    Spent most of my life in denial about my sexuality .
     
  4. resu

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    Not point blank. I guess my internal honesty-meter means I usually gave white lies (like hypotheticals on why I've never dated girls).
     
  5. Blossom85

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    I think someone who may not realize they are gay might lie but feel like they are being honest when they say they aren't gay because they aren't aware of it and aren't questioning their sexuality at that point in his or her life.

    I think tread carefully with this girl.. If her friends have said they don't think she is gay or bi, and she herself hasn't come out to you, then you can't assume she is gay because of the way she is or how she is around you. I think you will need to just treat her as a friend and don't think of her as anything but your friend. I know it might be hard, but you can't force or pressure her to come out if she isn't ready or if she doesn't even realize it herself yet, so just be her friend and maybe be happy with that for now at least.
     
  6. Steam Mecha

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    When I started finding men attractive kept telling myself I wasn't Bi before accepting myself.
     
  7. Randomcloud

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    Haha yes, I spent my whole teenage years denying I was gay. She could be straight or bicurious or completely in the closet. I guess my advice would be not to keep your hopes up (falling for straight girls = pain. PAIN) but don't completely abandon the idea either. Test her boundaries, if that makes sense
     
  8. Hexagon

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    Often. But I'm not gay, so it doesn't really help you. Lots of people lie about their sexuality, that's what being closeted is.
     
  9. El Extranjero

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    Depends on who's asking and the context. I've denied it plenty of times if the question was posed in a sort of confrontational or judgmental kind of way. If it naturally comes up in conversation, or if someone asks innocently or out of curiosity, I always say yes.
     
  10. beyourself

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    I denied it for a couple of months to myself. Now I think if somebody asked I would answer with yes. Fortunately nobody has asked me.
     
  11. iiimee

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    I denied I was transgender for a long time. Still, I even tried to claim I was butch lesbian to hide the fact from myself, when I knew full well girls weren't my thing... It's still strange, knowing something about yourself that nobody else knows.
     
  12. acciocarrie

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    Eh... It's possible that she's gay or bi but it's also possible that she's simply a very touchy-feely person, lol. I used to be friends with someone who'd always hug me, hold my hand, etc. and she wasn't gay or anything but people would come up to me with questions like 'is she a lesbian?', 'are you comfortable with her behaviour?', etc.

    Meanwhile I was trying to hide my sexuality and I was fine with her initiating it all but I'd never initiate it myself because I was worried people would figure out that I wasn't straight...
     
  13. Celatus

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    Yeah definitely haha. Some people are jerks, they don't need to know
     
  14. paris

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    Ages ago my mum asked me if I like guys and I answered yes. I wasn't lying though, I really believed that I'm just a late bloomer back then. Well, sometimes it happens that others may notice it earlier than we do. :icon_wink
     
  15. Alyss

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    I still deny my same sex attraction :grin:
     
  16. Mickz

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    Everyone at my school thinks I'm a lesbian due to rumors started by someone but I can deny it with truth because I'm 'technically' not a lesbian. So yeah I've denied it. And I'm almost in the same boat as you, it sucks liking someone who's sexuality you aren't sure about...
     
  17. Nightshade

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    Honestly I still deny that I'm gay. It can be hard to admit to it,especially if you think that you're gonna end up hurt because of it. But if she's adamant that she's straight I would recommend just going with it and trying to get on normally, she may just be a really playful person, or might just want to know you longer before admitting it if she is gay.
     
  18. SemiCharmedLife

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    Yeah, for over 10 years
     
  19. Ghost93

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    Yes I've done it a few times. I try not to and am honest with people if I feel they will be tolerant or if I feel that even if they are not tolerant, that they are not in a position to use the knowledge that I'm gay against me. But if I feel that revealing my orientation could put me at risk and that the person is asking in a judgmental/confrontational way, I'll deny it.

    For instance one of my homophobic roommates (at a Christian college) asked if I was gay (I honestly forget the context of the situation in which he asked). I told him "No" and its a good thing I did because immediately after he said "You better not be!"

    And then there is my extremely religious mother. After I defended gay people on Facebook she confronted me and said "Gay people are unnatural and are a threat to our family values! How could you ever support people like that? You're not struggling with being gay are you?"

    And to that I responded "no, I'm not gay" because at that time (a few years ago) admitting my orientation would have led to my parents trying to go to some sort of conversion therapy and I was too financially dependent on them to risk bailing.
     
  20. Kriskluwe

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    Never had to.