What troubles you?

Beginning of a relationship is exciting, but a bit stressful because I really want to make this work--we're both finding ourselves so busy right now that's starting to get a bit on the annoying side. If it's always going to be like this, it might be tough.

Otherwise, my life's pretty smooth right now, not gonna lie -_-

 

Finding a way out of being disowned and living on the streets one day.........

 

Keeping my self control to not yell at my family for being a bunch of judgmental fake homophobic assholes.

 

My feelings for my teacher. Also, trying to socialize with people my own age.

Oh, and my depression. Sorry, you said one single thing. Hmm.. then it would be the teacher thing. All of this sort of correlates though.

 

For me it's all about being closeted. I don't know how I didn't really give it much thought until this past year, but since then I've spent an absurd amount of time thinking about it. Some days I feel it's almost imminent that I'll develop a bit of courage and just come out already while on others I'm convinced it will never happen.

If I ever get past that point, I suppose it will be trying to find someone special who's willing to give me a chance despite getting started too late. I welcome that problem though.

Everything else is going pretty well for me though. I have a great family (and am very lucky to still have all of my grandparents), am financially independent, and do very well at my job. My social life is pretty lacking, but I blame that completely on being closeted. I really think if I could just knock over that domino everything would be fantastic.

I can definitely understand that. School came extremely easily for me through high school without having to put much effort in but I really struggled for a while in university. You can get through it though -- just remember that things are never as bad as they seem.

It's tough to have something so great seem to be both so close yet so far away at the same time. I know not everybody agrees, especially in the context of a relationship, but I think anything you have to really work at is much more rewarding in the end. Hopefully the struggle you're having to find time to be with your boyfriend will make the time you do share that much more rewarding. It's obviously not the ideal situation, but maybe having the chance to miss each other will ensure you don't take each other for granted.

I do think at some point you'll have to insist on making time for each other though, even if it's not always convenient for either of you. Assuming you're both in college there should always be a way to free up at least a few hours to hang out and enjoy each other's company.

Ugh, I hate hearing that so much. I'll never have so much as a shred of understanding for parents who could do that to their own child. I hope you're able to make everything work out okay; you deserve to have people support you for who you are, not who they want you to be.

 

What troubles me the most right now is my future.

I'm not sure how I am going to be disciplined enough to maintain my health, find a romantic partner, or even retrain myself to get into a better career of computer security...

I'm also quite troubled by the fact that the United States is even more authoritarian and reactionary than I anticipated. It sobers me that the problem is not just "politicians" or "the system." The problem is my neighbors.

 

Relationships. Gender. My future.

These are the three major thoughts that cloud my head nowadays. Don't know if he's drifting closer or not, don't know if I should come out, don't know what I want to do with my life.

 

Trying to deal with my mom who is absolutely crazy and moody for no good reason at all ._. I need to take the GRE in order to go onto grad school. I need more income. :/

 

My mental health (major depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues) and the despair of the thought that there is no magical pill out there. I am not thriving to my fullest potential.

 

The thing that is lately on my mind is me being gay. Since one month I am going through the different stages of coming out

 

Afraid that my brother might tell my mom that I'm bisexual. She is highly homophobic. >_<. :icon_redf. *hides in corner*

 

I'm slightly paranoid right now so I'm kinda troubled by the smallest things, but the thing that occupies my mind the most is just... Fear of having a fight with someone. I just want this week to be over as fast as possible, and I want it to go without stuff like that.

*lifts a dollar* One 'peace', please! And make it double ^^'

 

Ok, this is a time to get things out in the open...

I am highly troubled at the moment. I might not always show it outwardly, but I have a huge millstone round my neck that just won't go away.

I am still mostly closeted, and I have not plucked up the courage to come out to my parents, who I am currently living with. Living in a sort of isolated place, without being able to drive (yet) means that I have limited opportunities to start dating. So I'm aware of my sexuality but unable to actually do anything about it.

Also I'm not very motivated to do much. Gliding by through life is ok but I need to develop and grow and I am just not putting myself in situations that will allow me to do this. I'm not good with people anyway so maybe it's better to stay in this little shell and sit out the remainder of my life, ignoring the crippling loneliness as much as possible. But that's not healthy is it?

Yep, sorry for the long post.

 

My health. I am a massive hypochondriac though.

 

My relationships - with everyone, really, but most specifically, my friendships.

 

That I'm just deluding myself. That the progress I have made, since several years ago, is just me trying to "bargain" my way into good graces, and that, any time, I'll slip back into old habits.

I have to hold back, quite a bit of how I feel sometimes. Even when I am open, there is a great degree of raw emotional energy, that I keep contained. I have to, or else I run the risk of pushing people, quite harshly at that, away, with sheer overwhelming force. When I say, every day is a struggle, as to whether I am going to do good or be me, I mean that.

I believe there is a possibility, sadly, that I might have some incurable mental illness. Something along the lines of being a psychopath. But the thing is, almost all psychopaths don't want to change, yet I do. The problem is, I used to do, a lot, of what the symptoms are for psychopaths, in my younger years.

I was willing to lie.
I was willing to hurt.
I was incapable of feeling most emotions; only stimulation.
I possessed a ridiculous amount of charm, intelligence, and wit.
I liked manipulating people, in a variety of ways, for my own amusement.
I still have a very large ego.

If it is indeed the case, there is no known cure for that, and I'm just delaying the inevitable. Of course, I've never been officially diagnosed, and the irony is, most people who fall on the sociopath-psychopath spectrum, rarely do, because it's all a game to them. They aren't living to be discovered, only noticed. They aren't living to be cured, only tolerated. They aren't living to be successful, only granted.

Most people stereotype, and hear the word "psychopath", their minds jumping to some Horror movie serial killer. This is one reason, why those who genuinely do suffer, are rarely, if at all, able to receive the treatment they need. Everybody is looking in the wrong area, when really, a genuine psychopath can blend in flawlessly. They don't put on a hockey mask and slay people every day, they put on their clothes and brush their teeth every day.

 

My paranoia

 

Hexagon you are "daunting duo" with Kaiser when it comes to good and challenging questions.

First of all (*hug*) above posters.

At first glance there ain't any problem in my life as I tend to ignore/avoid problems untill I find a solutions about them. Not really ignoring but for lack of better word let's say I am taking small bites of them and chew and think.

 

I'm really sorry to hear this. This is huge.

Mine is a battle with depression and anxiety. I've only been diagnosed with (a let's say higher than average) level of depression, but it seems to be cyclical. The notion of bipolar has never come up. I seem to go into a trough after a period of elation. Sure, sexuality issues enter into it, but I think I'd still have this problem with being somewhat edgy because I always have been. Other people in my extended family have had problems with depression. A few were serious in nature.