Have you ever struggled to meet your basic needs, or had them go unmet?

Well I was having that even before I moved from home, because I didn't have insurance and there were more important things to spend it on... Like my mom's nails and getting her hair highlights.

Shoes always had holes in them. I needed glasses. When I started buying guy clothing, I only had one pair of jeans and two shirts. I never went hungry but i went a few years between seeing a doctor. In fact, I haven't seen a general physician in almost 5 years.

I got financial aid, which was nice. So the only thing I had trouble affording was textbooks.

 

I've faced a lot of these. Craigslist has been a good way to get a bit of cash. My advice, stay at home as long as you can. I see these 25-30 year olds at home and complaining; I am insanely jealous. If I still lived at home I wouldn't be massively in debt. Part of the problems with being out of the house at 18 I guess.

 

Not me personally (I'm under-aged) but my household has had numerous finacial difficulties in the past.

 

When I was earning little as a lab tech and my ex was on maternity leave for our first child, there was a day or two when getting formula was going to be a challenge. I remember that all through my married years, having enough to keep her and the three kids happy was always a challenge, it was a major cause of stress, principally because she and I never communicated sufficiently about money. We also wasted money on private school for the kids, truly a monumental waste of money over several years. Were it not for significant help from her parents, we would have been even worse off.

The marriage ended with a massive debt load that I am slowly paying off (15 more months to go!). I struggled to have enough to eat after the divorce, but things have stabilized and I am much more disciplined about budgeting (which is easier when you live alone).

Note to everyone, if you are contemplating moving in with any potential partner, you MUST have the money talk! There are ways to control spending that are essential in order to avoid problems that take years to resolve.

 

I've had some troughs of the depressive variety where my parents helped me out.

I remember having to skimp when in grad school and for a period thereafter.

There were times when I was proactive about and lucky with my health (when I wasn't taking any meds) that I didn't bother to go to the doctor for years. I have spaced dental visits further apart because I couldn't fit them into my budget at times.

If anyone has gone through this, they can empathize with someone else who has gone through or has been going through this - whether minor or major. I find that many of those born with a silver spoon often cannot do so.

 

There have been some lean times in my life. Never had to do without the necessities though. My solution to not having to deal with lean times again was to work over 100 hours per week at times. Not fun, but way better than being broke.

 

I've never lived by myself (independently), but my family's had times where I had to wear shabby hand-me-downs, couldn't turn on the heat in the winter, and long periods of time where I didn't go to the doctor or dentist (even if something was wrong) because of money issues.
My mom broke her spine, and though she can still function almost fine, it flares up from time to time. People don't take kindly when workers want six weeks of sick leave, so she gets fired. And then we have to take care of her and my dad has to pay her medical bills for surgery&pain meds. Things can go poorly from there.

 

I forgot to breathe for a few days once. I died a bit.

But nah, I've never failed to meet basic human needs.

 

We don't have a lot of money for stuff but we get by okay. I have had problems affording medical care though

 

Nah, thanks to my parents . My dad reminds my brother and i ,on a daily, of this fact as well.

 

Not me personally.. However when I was younger and was going through a lot of hospital visits and surgeries, my dad had to work three jobs to help pay for the medical expenses as well as buying good and clothes and keeping a roof over our head.

 

Growing up, after my parents separated, there were some tough times in terms of bills and healthcare, but my mum always did her damnedest to make sure she had food on the table for her three kids, even if sometimes we had to go without electricity and live on the generator for a week or two. We weren't broke, but living paycheck to paycheck meant we had to go without things until mum got paid again, and so the cycle continued. Things improved in time, mostly moving into a cheaper house, my mother producing more of an income, my father not being as much of a stickler with money.

Heh, I remember in middle school, having to rotate the same two pairs of jeans I had and having to wear the same shoes to the point where there were holes in the soles which I had to cover up with duck-tape until my mother could afford to spend extra on stuff like that. At least by high school, things were pretty good. I was working by then, my mother had/has a decent income, we weren't struggling and had enough for leisure.

Seems like my problem now is finding another job and finding a place to live, but in the meantime, I've got a roof over my head and an education. I'm not down and out, and for that, I'm very fortunate.

 

HuskyPup, I know how you feel. You want to live long-term, but life, for a plethora of reasons, makes you concede to a day-to-day routine.

You'd like to have a little money, so you can eat something new for once. You'd like to have a little money, so you can forget your car even has a low-gas light. You'd like to have a little money, so you can actually enjoy your life, instead of wasting it away, by worrying:

How am I going to get this hurting tooth fixed?
How am I going to get my medication to feel better?
How am I supposed to get a job, if I can't afford the fucking gas to get to the interview, followed by the two weeks until payday?

Why do I have to live like this?


I know how it is, hon. But don't turn a rough situation into an impossible one. You can control, how you perceive your situation, and do a little damage control. It isn't easy, but it helps.

You mention people being better off, and maybe, they won't know how valuable a full bowl of cereal is to another. Maybe they won't appreciate, you going out of your way, to burn gas to get the basic necessities. Maybe they won't ever know how to be humble with love, but that is what makes you stand out.

I won't bore you with a long example, here. But I'll say, you learn a lot about yourself, in terms of patience, preparation, and pleasure, when you're struggling or near-struggling. More importantly, you learn to develop the pure drive to escape your predicament -- and that drive, is the key to getting to another level.


"But Kaiser, as inspiring as that sounds, that doesn't really help me out, does it?"

Hold on, lol. I'm getting to that.


You like art? Craft some stuff, and go peddle it.
You like music? Compose some stuff, and go peddle it.
You like recycling? Pick up trash, and go eco-peddle it.

You might have to funnel a little money into something, but not funneling it is a guaranteed failure. Sad as it is to say, for us on the bottom of the totem pole, we gotta get opportunistic to make ends meet, sometimes.

Personal example time. I pick trash off the side of the road, collect discarded pieces of scrap, and pick up soda cans. It can be tedious, and some days yield nothing, but it is side money in the long run. On top of that, I'm saving the planet, too, I suppose. It might seem miniscule, in comparison to the rest of the world, but the rest of the world can bite me; I have $50-60 a week additional income.

$50-60
X 4
______
$200-240 a month.

That's one, maybe two utility bill (around here).


One way, to ease the burden of excessive finances, I hope.


Just know, darling. You aren't the only one, enduring that plight.

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

 

I have had no snuggles

 

I haven't had medical or dental insurance for what seems like a long time.

Without health insurance, my prescription creams for my skin condition can cost over $1000. So, I've been having to do natural/at home remedies. This time of year, I can break out bad. Besides worrying about my appearance when I break out, it can also be very painful. There are times when I just wanna break down and cry. But I remind myself that I've cleared my skin before, and I can certainly do it again.

Not having dental insurance is another thing I'm going through at the moment. It's "perfect timing" too, as I have one wisdom tooth out and one or two that want to come out. I should be thankful though, because at least my teeth are straight (or straight enough, at least), as decent-looking teeth run in the family.

What I'm trying to say is you're definitely not alone in your struggles with basic needs. The best advice I can give you is, even though life throws us things that may be unfair, you just gotta look at the good things going on in your life. That's what keeps me going.

 

Hm. Let's see..

Growing up, my family of five was basically dirt poor (my mom once told me she figured out that we lived on about half the legal poverty level for Alaska), but we weren't really aware of it because of the situation we lived in. That meant there was no parental assistance for college at all, although my grandmother sent me a bit of money each month for the first few years and I worked part time after my first semester.

My freshman year, I was between paychecks and waiting on a check from my grandmother. I think my bank account was down to barely double-digits. So for a week I lived on hot dogs, Rice Crispies cereal, and milk, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I also had only so much of each, so had to exercise major portion control and think about how much I could eat at each of those meals to make sure the stuff would last.

After college I was in a relationship and we got an apartment together after I got my first 'real' job. It was in sales and I foolishly believed the owners when they told me how much I would be making. So I made purchases based on what they said. They were...overly optimistic. By the time that period of my life was done, and between having to pay credit card bills, rent, student loans, and car payment/insurance, I had experienced:

a) having the power shut off one day

b) having the same car repossessed twice

c) being on such good terms with several collection departments that when I moved to Virginia without knowing what my new address was going to be, they not only were OK, with me not being able to give a forwarding address on the promise I would contact them when I arrived, but one of them recommended some good stores in the area to get economically priced clothing (their call center was in the area). Good times - not.

I am now happy to say that while we're not rich, my partner and I are financially comfortable.

Todd