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Why we don't get along with some people ...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tightrope, Nov 8, 2014.

  1. Tightrope

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    Have you ever wondered why you just don't click with some people? I'm not talking about being disappointed about it, but simply wondering what the basis of it is. Mostly, I'm referring to situations where it doesn't matter all that much - like with a checker at the market or with a teller at the bank.

    There is a place I go to for my car. I've been a customer for a long time. There are different people who work the service aisle. Except for one, all of the others seem to remember me and their customer service toward me spans from good to great. However, one guy there really has an "issue" with me from all the cues I read. We have never had an argument or a disagreement. In reality, he's a sourpuss with zero personality with just about everybody, but I sense it a little more with me. Once, I was just talking about an innate weak spot in my make and model of car and, while seated on his stool at the counter, his arms went into the defensive folded position with lightning speed. Since I generally don't have issues with service areas, I wonder what this is about.

    I talked to a friend and, rather than fill out those survey cards and mention it, which would be read by the higher ups, she said to make sure I schedule my appointments with others who work the service aisle.

    Any similar experiences or stories? Do you ever wonder why someone gets such a negative vibe from you or about you from the start? I really don't care if people don't like me, but I also prefer to avoid unwarranted negativity.
     
  2. Joelouis

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    Yes, and I usually just come out with the question "What's the problem then?".
    I am not a fan of animosity and so I like to get to the base of the problem and most often it is sorted out there and then.
    If I don't think they're deserving of a response (as I think that is what they're after), then I blatantly ignore them.

    Maybe he sees you as a threat to his popularity?
     
    #2 Joelouis, Nov 9, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2014
  3. Burnedcloset

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    Yeah I feel this way about someone who works at my usual lunch spot after workouts. She always is just rude. All I ever do is act nice and polite with her.
     
  4. Hexagon

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    Probably because people rarely stop to consider the other person's experience. I'd like to point out that you say the cashier is a sourpuss with zero personality. Maybe he thinks the same about you.

    To be honest, this kind of thing happens all the time. Someone misreads an initial situation (maybe the other person was just having a bad day, or is upset at someone else), and then responds negatively as a result.
     
    #4 Hexagon, Nov 9, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2014
  5. kageshiro

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    Certain personalities are just not compatible with each other. It's usually best not to overthink it too much
     
  6. MyLittleWorld

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    Sometimes people don't understand each other. You see someone, and you instantly don't like someone, or like someone... you can't explain why. Different values, jealousy? You can't make everyone like you, that's the truth.
     
  7. Yossarian

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    As a friend of once said to me after she had been drinking for a while, "Some people are just no damn good." I have occasionally found her view to be spot on. It sounds like you have too. Don't worry about it, just deal with someone else when you get the car worked on. Sooner or later their bad attitude with customers will catch up with them with management; even sooner if you let management know you are uncomfortable doing business with that particular employee to the point of taking your business somewhere else.
     
  8. The Janitor

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    If someone doesn't treat you how you treat them, or simply offers no kindness in the first place, you don't have to indulge their company.
     
  9. Candace

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    Their personalities, and maybe a little of jealously mixed into that. I sometimes felt as if my friends could have done better in terms of choosing other friends (and I didn't really think highly of them). Then again, that's their personal choice and I really can't my friends for that.
     
  10. thevenerable

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    Because some people just aren't supposed to get along with us.
     
  11. Tightrope

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    It's not the cashier. They tend to be women. It's one of the guys who you first see for auto service. Yes, he could think the same thing about me. However, since they all work parallel to each other, he could probably deduce that I get along fine with the others. You're right ... these sorts of chemistry issues are inevitable in life.

    ---------- Post added 9th Nov 2014 at 01:53 PM ----------

    Right. I'm a pretty good reader of vibes. I'm sure the others on the service aisle, who are talkative enough and can be jovial, see that this is a man of few words with a scowl on his face. I won't say anything to management, though. It isn't worth it since I will just make appointments with the others in the future. There are two of them I like.

    ---------- Post added 9th Nov 2014 at 01:57 PM ----------

    This is true. I'm omitting the "with us" because I have no idea if the "us" even registers. I know this guy is married and has kids, appears to be conservative, and probably goes to church every Sunday. On the other hand, it is probably apparent to him that I'm single, since the car seems very "single occupant" even though it can seat 5, and that I'm more of a free spirit who wouldn't go to church. That's often enough for people to not be able to work well together.

    Thank you, folks, for all the feedback.
     
    #11 Tightrope, Nov 9, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2014