What the hell, Yorkiephobia?

OK, so I don't know if this is a thing with just me being weird or if others have similar issues. It's been bothering me for a long time... I've always been a cat person since I was, say, 4 years old? I guess it's because I get nervous around dogs in general and tend to keep my distance. There is that one breed, however, that I can't stand to see, hear, or think about. No, it isn't german shepards, great danes, or even pitbulls... but Yorkshire terriers. I have no clue as to why but they terrify me more than anything.. exept maybe tarantulas/cobras but those are more reasonable.

Unlucky for me, about a year or two after I discovered my fear of this breed, by sister desides to get a dog again after her other one ran away. I'm pretty chill about it. "Just keep the dog away from me" and all. but then I figure out it's a yorkie. shit. What's the probability? The next few years of my life were hell, not only because of trans issues, school, and an insane stepfather; but also because my worst fear was constantly darting across my front lawn making terrifying noises. I'm a pacifist and I even punched a hole in my window out of fear and anger. I've never done anything like that. Eventually, about 5 years in, the dog died of heat. I felt bad about my attitude but eventually came to realize it wasn't my fault, since my sister left it in the car.

About three years later my stepfather left at last, and school was getting easier. Life was getting better In general. Then, my sister gets a replacement dog... another yorkie. Even after I discussed with my family and even begged for them not to. The dog ends up being an inside dog unlike the last to make things even worse. I never leave my room anymore unless I am absolutely sure the dog is put up. I even have a bell I hold outside of my door that I have to ring to signal someone to put the dog up so I can go eat or use the bathroom. I'm diabetic, so I'm sorta forced to leave the room every now and then. My fear is definitely unreasonable, and I know it, but I have no control over it. Problem is, because of this, they don't take it seriously. The dog "escapes" regularly when I am out for the few minutes of my day; often because someone leaves the door cracked. then it wants t bark loudly at me and chase me around the house until I manage to jump up on the kitchen counter. I have signs plastered all over my door "KEEP CLOSED" but nobody ever closes the thing so I have to stop whatever I'm doing, whether it's sleeping, drawing, gaming etc, to jump up and close the door so the dog doesn't get into my room.

I know I'm being ridiculous, but it's really making life harder. Everyone knows me as a kind, calm person.. but when I hear the barking I become nervous and furious.. it's not me at all. My fists hurt from all the banging on the wall. I just want to be cured, really. First 4 or so years were terrible and the last 3 have driven me insane with the new "we keep the dog inside" thing. I don't feel same in my own home.. I always thought for that feeling to arise I'd need the KKK living nextdoor! But if anyone has suggestions I'd be happy to hear... Therapy didn't help. I'm out of ideas. :icon_sad:

Thanks for reading this crazy wall of text...

---------- Post added 9th Nov 2014 at 11:46 AM ----------

Eh, Edit expired, but I meant to say "to bark loudly" third paragraph.
Also, didn't mention I busted a hole in my door last week and covered it up with a picture. same reason.

 

Thank you very much for understanding. I do love animals really, I don't know why I'm so scared. I had a needle phobia too but not nearly as bad.