The Gay Lifestyle

I was born gay. I had my first experiences in first grade and stuffed myself in the closet after she left, then reemerged seven years later. It's not much of a "when did I discover I was homo" for me, but when I discovered something else about my sexuality that I ponder.

 

I never really had any interest in girls, but the idea that I might be gay never was really presented as an option until college. But, as far as the "lifestyle," I don't know if I live it or not. I mean, I know I'm gay, and I don't pretend otherwise to anyone, but I think I'm not too feminine, not exceedingly masculine, just an average male that happens to like other males.

 

i would hafta say i was born this way. i did try to deny it though, for a while...but im just not into guys that way at all. they're all like brothers to me, and that's as close as they ever get.

 

I think it may be because something bad that happened to me when i was a child with an older girl. i don't know why it would make me like girls better than guys but i think it may be the reason. i began to notice around third grade when the other girls started 'developing'. But after being called gay all the time I changed over the summer and everyone forgot about it and i denied it to myself that i was gay until this year. It's kinda funny because i just found out that the one girl who was my best friend in third grade, and the same girl who ended up hating me the most by the end of the year and called me gay on the last day of school (she left after that year) recently came out as a lesbian to me and told me that she always had, had a secret crush on me and that was why she was mean. it's weird when i think about it...

 

I was mostly heterosexual until I was about 14 years old. Then my focus shifted to guys. They are addictive... now I am like 90% gay. But I still like girls...

What made me gayer? I don't know. I just began to notice the beauty of the male body. Plus, guys wanted to do to me things (sexual, I mean) which no girl was willing to do (with anyone). So, I began experimenting with guys, and I liked it.

 

I have to believe I was born this way. I can't think of anything that 'caused' me to be the way I am. I'm from a fairly ordinarly, very traditional / typical family.

 

I'm not sure if i believe the 'always been gay' thing. I always thought of myself as straight - indeed i would j/o to straight porn. But eventually i found i like gay porn better and now i find no sexual attraction to girls.

 

This is a very good question, and something I have thought about myself, especially when I was coming out to myself.

For a long time I thought the five years I spent at an all boys boarding school and the things I did with other boys during that time made me gay. I now think it didn't, but it did make me more aware of my feelings sooner.

Thinking back earlier there were signs at various points in my childhood. When changing for swimming at school when I was about 8 or 9 I was always interested to see the other boys bits. They kept talking about wanting to see into the girls changing room but that idea never interested me.

Even earlier when I was about 5 or 6 I remember seeing a boy with an erection on some TV programme, and that made me play with my erection in bed while picturing the image in my mind.

There are others events too. Of course they could be put down as childhood curiosity, but I do not remember any instances of similar interest in anything relating to girls.

So now I do believe I was born gay.

 

Even though I have dated guys, I have been attracted to girls as long as I can remember (although I didn't come out to myself untill seventh grade). So, I guess I was born this way.

 

It's hard to tell for me, because I became aware of my interest in guys about two years ago, but looking back on things, I think there were definately signs that passed me by, and my overall attitude back then would be consistant with me being bisexual, just too smothered with heterosexuality to really notice.

One of the most obvious signs was that I was extremely nervous around people I didn't know, and so I dealt with it by dawning a different personality, kind of like roleplaying. The way I viewed that persona, however, was as a girl. Maybe I asociated women with good speakers, I really can't say now, but when I needed to socialize, the character I slipped into, at least in my eyes, was a woman.

So looking back on that, it's pretty surprising that I didn't suspect that I was bisexual earlier, but the environment I grew up in was very heterosexual, and I really wasn't exposed to much of anything otherwise when it came to media. Plus, I don't think it occured to me for a long while that I could like both at the same time. Either way, I've had a lot to think about ^^

Great question, Deliciouslysexy! And thanks for letting us know a little bit about yourself, too!

 

I Think that I was born to be gay, I dont know. In elementary school, I liked to play and gossip with the girls, because I thought that they were cool, and I like the things they did

I dint know or care what side I like, male or female. Then one day in the church, an older guy started to touch me, when I was only in 2nd grade. I was sexual abuse from then. And at first I felt so horrible. But then, time went by and I started to feel more comfortable, and better. I started to like it, and then I found out that I liked guys . I had been sexually abused a lot back in my childhood, not only that dude, but other guys in my school too.

 

I kno i been gay my whole life. i noticed early on i felt more allright talking and gossiping with a group of girls then guys. from an early age i also experemted with my guy friends. When i got older and had my first sexuall experince i noticed i want nothing to do with the females anatomy but i forced my self to like it, like a flavor of food u hate but eat it anyway to others happy.

 

well i havent actually decided what the hell is up with my sexuality. I considered myself straight for a very long time, but since a very young age i had experimented with some of my guy friends. I never really thought anything about it because that is what i had had done to me at a very young age. If i do decide that i am gay i would consider myslef "gay made" because it was not by choice that my neighbor messed with me at the age of 7. I have gone through very depressed stages... on the brink of suicide at times because i sit and think that what i had done with those other guys could have been the same thing that my neighbor had done to me, and what if i had messed up their lives. Then i start in with the inner termoil. I was raised in a very very hardcore christian house where homosexuality isnt even spoken about because it is so "blasphemos." I like girls and try very hard to have a heterosexual relationship but something in me just cant have sex with a gurl.. i dont know how to put it, i just dont want to do that to them i consider them my best friends and yet i do have attraction to men but there are still the hardcore christian values instilled in me that say it is wrong, and thus i convince myself that i am not because i still feel things for girls. Ohhhhh Jesus its all so confusing!!! I almost just went out and found some guy to screw just to see how i felt but i couldnt do it.
So yeah my life is one fat mess.

 

Hi Youngn0323! Welcome to EC! Sounds like you've got some 'stuff' to work through, and this is a great place to get some of that 'stuff' off your chest. You've already started - and that's great!

Say hello and tell us a bit about yourself in the 'introductions' section! We'd all like to get to know you, and help in any way we can.

I'm no expert, and didn't suffer any abuse as a kid - but I wouldn't liken what was done to you at the age of 7 to what you did with friends your own age. You wouldn't have wielded the same kind of disproportionate power over your friends that your neighbor had over you at the age of 7...

I hope you find some comfort and reassurance here. Again, welcome.

 

i'm still not sure about my sexuality...i had my first lesbian relationship just before i turned 54,i'd always thought i was "straight" until i met my now ex gf...she said she knew i was gay........maybe i always knew it but was scared to admit it..sex was something my family NEVER talked about..

 

I Think i was either born gay or it was how i was raised.

Because when i was younger my mom used to babysit so she would always have girls over.
And i was little so i didn't care, we played dress up (Like with Dresses Lol!) And house and stuff.
And my dad was never really home either,always at work. And since that leaves, my mom and my 2 sisters at home i kinda just got thrown in and treated like my sisters lol.

My mom still asks me girly stuff like. "Josh u got a big zit u want some make up to cover that?" I am just like :eusa_doh: Lol
But ya

 

Same here, my mom always cares about my look, especially my face, she always force me to clean my face with products, she wants all my pimples to go away, and she asks me to use hand lotions all the time:tantrum: :tantrum:

 

I was raised in the estrogen-ocean. Ending up gay was an act of nature. I have a family of only women, and I went to a school that only had 5 boys including me. I tried being straight for the first 14 years of my life… But watch out, here comes the gay Wade!