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LOVE - define it

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by nativeofruby, Nov 27, 2014.

  1. nativeofruby

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    So, I'm just a 16 year old girl who has never experienced love.
    Or at least I'm pretty sure I haven't...
    Obviously, I've had the usual crush and some strong attractions, but I'm pretty sure it was nothing too deep.

    Have you ever fallen for someone? If so, can you tell me the story of it?
    And what does it feel like to be in love? Is all the stuff they say in books true? For example, do you really get butterflies and you become capable of doing anything for that person?

    I'm just hoping you could shed some light on the matter. I'm curious about it, and I highly doubt I'll discover it for myself any time soon.
     
  2. CharlsOn

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    I've been at the exact same point.
    I asked people what love is, how you can define and explain it.
    But truth is, as sad as it is, you can only understand when you are in love. Or were.
    I was, and actually it's hard to explain how I felt bc it was a liiiitttle bit complicated.
    All I knew was that this what I felt was love. Without any explanation or reason or whaatevverrr. I didn't really understand it. And I never will lol
    But point is, don't give up on love only bc you haven't discovered it so far.
    You will know when you're in love. You know what I'm talking about when you are.
    And yes, I know. This helps so goddamn much lol:grin:
     
  3. lemons123

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    if you put 5 letters after love spelled bacwards it will sound as evolution.
     
  4. shinji

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    TL;DR version at the bottom.

    First time i fell in love:

    We started corresponding, found out we like somewhat the same things, found each other's company good. And slowly our short conversations turned into a whole day back and forth talks about stuff that was not even all that relevant. It was just fun, to spend time "together". When a person becomes important enough for you, to actually drop other stuff in your life, just so that you can talk to them, then you kind of get a feeling, that things are somewhat more serious than just a casual friendship.

    Okay, from here on... if the feelings are mutual, you go into something like a strong "platonic" relationship, at which point you both open up more and you continue to "click" so you get to a point where you just realize - "damn, i actually, think i like this person".

    And, basically... this.

    TL;DR - The moment you realize, that you care for someone else, the same as (or more) than you care for yourself, you know it's love.
     
  5. nativeofruby

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    @CharlsOn it's something. :slight_smile:
     
  6. CharlsOn

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    Something is better than nothing.
    Good to hear:slight_smile:
     
  7. idream

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    I don't think I've ever been in love, but I think that it feels beautiful. Like everything good and positive
     
  8. CharlsOn

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    It is a truly beautiful feeling.
    It can be, that everything is good I mean.
    It always depends on the situation and the people and such stuff as always.
    Everyone experiences love a differently.
    And I'm not specialist so don't listen to me. It might turn out completely different for others:grin:
     
  9. nativeofruby

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    So, obviously I've never felt it, but I've seen it. My best friend and her boyfriend are the most loving couple I've ever met... And they have a connection I will never understand, and it's so beautiful to see.
    It makes me crave love, somehow. I don't even know if that's possible or if it is too selfish of me to say, but it is how I feel.
     
  10. CharlsOn

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    It's totally human to feel so. A human being craves love, in the most cases.
    That's all but selfish.
     
  11. DrinkBudweiser

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    being attracted to someone's imperfections.
    anyone can fall in love with someone physically attractive, funny, smart, etc. but when you actually find happiness in the little things and imperfections, that's what it is. IMO.
     
  12. justbehappy

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    The definition of love can change a lot from one person to another, but I think that the best way to describe it is : " Love is pain, is being lost; bad, painful, agonizing pain, that we're willing feel over and over again for the rest of our lives ! " We are really dumb, but that shit is worth it, I suppose. :thumbsup:

    Humans are complicated !
     
  13. Phalange

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    What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

    ^Got that stuck in my head thanks to this thread.
     
  14. White Knight

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    Love is coming to full circle on that hill top, watching his bare back washing with early morning light, feeling free, feeling hypnotized with his sleepy smile...

    I guess I was mistaking love with lust up to that moment. Even he probably didn't love me, I loved him... I guess I still do. *sigh* :frowning2:
     
  15. Kaiser

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    Let us address some things first, shall we?

    You said it yourself. You're 16. I know you are going to hate this, but it is true. You're still fairly young, and have plenty of years left in you. Give it time, and try not to worry too much about it. Focus on your education, finding your individuality, and strengthening your talents.

    Crushes and emotional attachments, fall on the Love Spectrum (as I'll refer to it), so, you have felt a sample of what it means, to have love in your life.

    I've had my share of crushes, but you probably want the juicy answer.

    I've fallen for one individual in my life, beyond what I normally did.

    Mm... I'll give you the short version of it. Many years ago, when I wasn't nearly as kind or as considerate as I am now, this one young lady, was able to see, beyond the tough act and rebelliousness. For a very short period of time, I was considering, possibly, toning down how I was acting and, possibly, pursuing her...

    ... but then, I got stupid. I kept doing what I had been. After she kept trying for a bit, to get through to me, I pretty much told her to "fuck off", by not complying. She then walked away, out of my life, and I didn't see her for several years afterwards. While I've made amends to her, she's made it clear, that my total disregard for her, back then, was unnecessary. It hurt her, though she had gotten over it. Just like she'd gotten over, any romantic feelings, she may have had for me, back then.

    Those few days, when I was debating improving my life, were the closest to love, with another person, that I have ever come. But I couldn't walk away, and it'd take a few more years, before I realized my errors.

    Love is one of those things, you know when you feel it. If you have parents, you typically love them. If you have a pet, you typically love them. If you have a hobby, you really like, you could potentially love those. All of these are examples of love, but different types. The love you seem to be speaking of, will have a similar foundation as these, but different sensations.

    That 'stuff' they say in books, is possibly true, at best. How someone handles being in love, differs. So, that 'stuff', may not be true for you. Even if it is true for others.

    Butterflies, maybe. At least in the beginning, because you're nervous or a little overwhelmed. Over time, this'll get better, but some individuals say, at times, they can still be prone to butterflies in the stomach. Many consider it a sign, that the relationship is still hot, and going strong.

    As for being capable of doing anything for someone, potentially, yes. But this may depend on the loved person in question, and how long you've invested into loving them.

    Not with that attitude, you won't. I'm not going to tell you, just by lifting your chin up, that, all of a sudden, people will be running up to you, to want to love you. No, life doesn't work like that, unfortunately. However...

    When you put yourself down, two things happen.

    One, it puts people off. As hard as it may be, you have to give off the impression of self-love and confidence, because this lets people know two things. The first, that you have love to give, and the second, that you have something going on in your life, even if it is being able to bear life.

    Two, you'll find a painful comfort in "proving yourself right". What do I mean? Basically, you tell yourself, you won't or can't, and when you don't, you chalk it up to being right again. You think you can't be loved, because you've accepted, for yourself, that you won't be loved.

    You aren't alone, trust me, with that.

    I experience a mixture of anger-happiness-envy, when seeing two people, whoever they are, together, and expressing affection for each other. I know I shouldn't hold anything against them, but seeing them, makes me feel less than I really am. I feel unattractive and incapable of love, as well as worthless, because nobody has seen the value in me, or the possibilities I offer. I've gotten better about this, but it can still sting.

    You keep craving love. Better to want to love another, than to hurt them, I say, which reminds me...

    Love is, you would rather be hurt, than lose what keeps you from being hurt.

    I know, it's absolutely corny. But, it's one of the better explanations, I have heard, as to what love is.

    In the meantime, you take care of yourself. One day, you'll be able to take care of somebody else, just as they will you.

    (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

    Kaiser loves you, at least!
     
  16. nativeofruby

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    Yes, exactly! Seeing such things do make me feel unattractive, incapable and worthless... It's incredible how you could fathom my thoughts into words when I couldn't even do it for myself...

    And thank you so much for your kind words, Kaiser! I love you too. (I guess)


    (*hug*)
     
  17. QueerQueen

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    It's hard to talk about it because it still feels fairly fresh, but yes I have fallen for one person in my 26 years. I do love her and I can probably say that any day of my life even though I am not with her and might not be with her again, because I genuinely love her as a person, I love who she is more so than just the feelings she gives me. It's hard to explain.. one day I just knew.. it was just so abundantly clear like if I knew anything it was that I knew that I loved this girl and of course I still do. I knew that I wanted her in my life in some shape or form, it didn't have to be relationship wise I would be happy just to have her friendship and just to have known this person. Talking to her was the highlight of my day everyday and even though I'm hurting now I'm still incredibly glad I got to experience everything with her. So yeah not great advice, but all I can say is that I just knew, and when it happens for you.. you will just know too.
     
  18. CJliving

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    What love is and feels like changes from person to person. It can even change depending on who you love. I feel like I loved my first boyfriend much more passionately than my current boyfriend, my ex made me completely out of control of my emotions. With my ex (let's call him C), with C we were constantly reaffirming our feelings, we probably said I love you, emphatically, 5 or 6 times a day. With M (my current bf) we don't even talk everyday. Both of us are very calm, there's very little emotionally charged moments. In the Hollywood-lens of love, it might seem like I loved C more, but I don't feel that way at all. After 3 years with C, I wanted out so badly it was crazy! I cried on the bus going to his house I wanted out so much. After 3 years with M, I still look forward to seeing him, he still makes me smile.

    So, defining love is kinda impossible. It's definitely not always a collection of good feelings, it's not always passionate, it's not always anything. But it is nice.
     
  19. CornerSign

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    Utterly terrifying elation.
     
  20. juliegt6

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    Love is like obscenity, you'll know it when you see it.