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St. Mary's Church "Goth Awareness" Letter

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by CJliving, Nov 28, 2014.

  1. CJliving

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    Okay first, this is to be taken lightly! I don't want to incite a discussion about religion or anything like that.

    I found this in high school and thought it was hilarious! Even my Christian, right-wing dad thought it was funny!

    I'm curious so how many of these were/are you as a teenager? I was 32/38.


    (This was an actual letter sent out by the St. Mary's Church.)

    Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
    child may have gone astray from the Lord.

    Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

    -Frequently wears black clothing.

    -Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

    -Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nail polish.

    -Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

    -Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

    -Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

    -Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

    -Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

    -Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

    -Takes drugs.

    -Drinks alcohol.

    -Is suicidal and/or depressed.

    -Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

    -Complains of boredom.

    -Sleeps too excessively or too little.

    -Is excessively awake during the night.

    -Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

    -Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

    -Spends large amounts of time alone.

    -Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)

    -Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

    -Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

    -Misbehaves at school.

    -Misbehaves at home.

    -Eats excessively or too little.

    -Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. (*Remark: it's Count Chocula, not Dracula, idiots.)

    -Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

    -Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

    -Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

    -Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

    -Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

    -Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

    -Expresses an interest in sex.

    -Masturbates

    -Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

    -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

    -Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

    -Claims to be a goth.

    If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

    ~St. Mary's Catholic Church
     
  2. DrinkBudweiser

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    that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever seen. LMFAO, please tell me this isn't recent?
     
  3. Black Raven

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    :roflmao:

    Why did I never get to laugh about silly pamphlets like that during my time in school?
     
  4. Silver Springs

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    For a Christian, I am stepping awfully close to devil worship, apparently.
     
  5. Tardis2020

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    I-I don't want to live on this planet anymore
    *flies away*
     
  6. PurpleGrey

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    I got 27. I am going to hell times five, remainder two.

    Some of these are absurdly normal. What kind of kid never wants to hang with their friends without a parent eyeing them like a vulture? Well, golly gee, only devil-worshiping sinners expect any level of privacy.

    And since when is philosophy a religion? And, oh yeah, those evil violent Buddhists! Ha! Clinical Depression? That's not a chemical imbalance or a reaction to puberty or crappy environment; that's your kid rejecting the Lord and becoming a satanic, masturbating homosexual.

    And what person on earth has absolutely no interest whatsoever in sex? Does that mean an interest in having sex? Knowing about sex? Knowing sex exists and what it does? Whether or not Jim slept with Suzy?

    People be uptight as all hell, folks.
     
  7. Hexagon

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  8. MusicislifeXD

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    I got a 37/38. So I'm......ehhhh.... going to hell then? Okaii XD
     
  9. Lawrence

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    15/38. They forgot some obvious signs of demonic possession such as writing dark poems and violent stories! Yeah, I saw this on the Landover website and it's still funny xD
     
  10. Laszlo

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    Omg!!!! Some of these things made me feel like it was almost joking :astonished: It's really hilarious though. I got 27.
    I think my favourite was this one:
    -Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
    I'm trying to figure out how a satanic symbol relates to violently shaking your head to music lol
     
  11. Lawrence

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    The text isn't very clear. I'm guilty of drawing pentagrams for artistic purposes... they might referring to that.

    I think it's most likely referring to the sign of the horns \m/ which is a hand gesture used at rock/metal concerts. If they did their research... they'll have seen that!

    This reminds me of a religious study into the 'evil nature' of porn. Those researchers claimed to have studied a lot of porn... only for the sake of helping people, of course!
     
  12. ForNarnia

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    32. If I wasn't already going to burn in the eternal flames of hell for being an atheist, Im definately going there now :wink:
     
  13. Mickz

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    I couldn't stop laughing while reading this lol
     
  14. gazwkd

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    I would take this as just some humour, I can't find anything on the net that backs this up as being a real letter sent out by a church.
     
  15. Ryujin

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    Yes. Just yes.

    Also, I actually thought, from the title, that this was a 'Goth awareness: Save Gothic Culture' kind of thing...
     
  16. looking for me

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    Stop, im gonna pee....
     
  17. NingyoBroken

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    As a goth, I found it amusing

    Mostly all of these things apply to me (and not because I'm young. there are adult goths)



    AND I'm atheist! So fuck you too, st mary's.



    Americans are weird
     
    #17 NingyoBroken, Nov 30, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  18. Nekoko

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    I think I was at 25? I kept losing count from laughing so much! XD

    Really I was more part of the Punk subculture than Goth but I was kinda Goth... Still, this is soooo duuuumb! :lol:
     
  19. Yosia

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    :lol: This is highly amusing, and most apply to me
     
  20. nativeofruby

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    I got 29/38. and I'm so confused... maybe it was all the laughing! ahahahah

    I live in a very catholic country and Philosophy is a mandatory subject in any secondary school... my teacher will be pleased to know that he lectures a dangerous cult. ^-^'

    this is completely ridiculous! I think my favorite was " -Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.". that one cracked me up :lol: