How do you "take it to the next level"?

Firstly, don't think that you should know about this stuff. There's nothing wrong with not having had sex.

I would assume that once you're in a setting you described, lying on a bed, you just need to initiate physical contact in a small way, holding hands or something. Then just build it up.

 

Someone has to take the first step at some point. I mean, this guy let you on his bed during a date, that's a preeetty good sign that there was the potential for that to be more (I would never let a stranger that I didn't mean to fuck on my bed, for instance). I get that you may feel reluctant to take the initiative, I'm pretty shy myself (yes I am), but what if your partner is also waiting for you to make a move? Are you both just gonna sit there waiting for something to spontaneously happen? Even if it's small things, like Hexagon mentioned, you gotta try to find ways to let him know that you're ready to take it to the next level. If you don't want to take the first step yourself then at least encourage the other party to do so, but you gotta do something.

 

Duuuuude this guy meant business lmao. I repeat, he let you on his bed. On the first date. He was so game. And now you tell me he kissed you? Forget about identifying "signs" this guy was figuratively yelling at you "COME AT ME BRO!" hahaha.

I don't think he was offended; if anything he could have been disappointed that you didn't go for a kiss (or a second kiss after the awkward one! c'mon he gave you carte blanche!), which is fine I guess if you were trying to lay some boundaries because it's just the first date and whatnot but if you wanted to go for it and you held back well that's a shame because it sounds like he was pretty down to it. He might be questioning your interest in him though, so letting him know that you still want to pursue... Whatever this is takes priority number one right now. You said you sent him a text? Hopefully you mentioned if you had a good time last night and your interest in seeing him again. Which brings me to:

YES... Yes. Yes. Specially when they make it as evident as this guy that this it what they are expecting.

 

Start making out, then get a little grope-y, then see what happens

 

Well there you have it, you had your first date. You know more now than you did yesterday so stop beating yourself over the head with the inexperience bit. Just know that, the way I see it, this guy is 100% into you. Stop doubting yourself and start taking more risks, which as we just learned, are way less "rieskier" than you make them out to be. I mean, the guy also payed for the dinner? He would have to leap at you to make his intentions any more obvious lol.

In this particular case, I reaaally think you have way less to worry about than you think. Just go ahead and grab his hand; get flirty; kiss him, and I mean, kiss him, not just a quick peck (although you may want to start with that and go from there). If you get anxious that's fine, he will get it as long he sees you trying (if he is anything like me he will love you for it hahahahah).

 

At least you got a date! Haha, whenever I get a crush on someone, I always avoid looking at them and pretend they don't exist, which I know will NOT prompt them to start flirting; it turns them off. But I get so nervous and scared. I don't even know if anyone's ever liked me. The only time I got asked out was when I was in 3rd grade or so and the boy was asking ALL the "girls" (unfortunately, I was a girl back then) out. Ugh. He was pretty disgusting, too.

I'm at a lower level than you when it comes to experience. Don't feel bad. But being clueless at 21, that's pretty cute of you. Maybe your date thinks so, too.

 

If you wanna take it slow that's fine too. My worry was that you were inhibiting yourself from doing stuff you wanted to do thinking your eagerness would backfire on you but if you wanna take it one step at a time that's your choice and any man worth a damn will respect that (he sounds like a man worth a damn btw). Also:

^This​

 

Well, what you do is you hit the boxes with the question marks to get mushrooms and coins and then you swing on the flagpole...to get to the next level...LEVEL UP *can you hear the virgin in me*

 

It feels more natural than you might imagine - you just need to get started. If he kissed you on the lips already you are good to go... if another guy is happy to touch your lips with his he should be open to more touching elsewhere.

Start with kissing and let things build a little, but get really close to him (if another person can squeeze their arm between the two of you, you're not close enough!). If you are close enough you may detect some 'movement' in the crotch area and then you will know for sure about taking it to the next level. :icon_wink If you are both ready, let it happen.

Making a move doesn't make you a creep. If nobody made a move on a date where would we all be? Dating is all about getting to know someone and becoming closer to them.

Good luck!

 

Yeah, I'd be more embarassed about the date than everything after. Well, that and the making out part.... The advantage with having a friend with benefits is that I had no qualms about making the first move. I would normally rub against his thigh or waist. Maybe rubbing his head or neck too. I guess the weird thing though is that I haven't had sex in 12 years; I sort of feel like a virgin all over again in a way.

 

Yeah, I'd be more embarassed about the date than everything after. Well, that and the making out part.... The advantage with having a friend with benefits is that I had no qualms about making the first move. I would normally rub against his thigh or waist. Maybe rubbing his head or neck too. I guess the weird thing though is that I haven't had sex in 12 years; I sort of feel like a virgin all over again in a way.

 

Ditto what everyone else is saying; dating requires a lot of give and take, so sometimes carpe'ing the dang diem is required. And trust me, l know how you feel about feeling creepy doing the initiating romance of any sort thing. I'm hearing increasingly, too, that it's healthiest to love yourself to some degree before you love someone else. If these comments aren't doing the trick, look up small ways of building up your self-esteem and confidence; there're plenty out there l'm sure. If that's not your cuppa hot beverage, take some risks with this guy. See if he'll reciprocate your flirty head nod or that caress you offhandedly give him, and work up. Take pride in the risks that pay off, and when they don't, instead of getting upset with yourself, remind yourself that, a. you're still learning and it's okay to make mistakes and b. if he's really into you, he won't mind some awkwardness on your behalf.

One last thing to note before l kick my soap box to the curb: communication. Try to be as open with him as you possibly can. Let him know exactly how you feel. Maybe if you're feeling particularly uncomfortable or awkward, let him know and see how he sees you! Very often do our mistakes or insecurities bother ourselves much more than those around us, if at all.

 

How did you end up meeting him? I know that was the subject of several of your other threads.