Self esteem, do you have it?

A fucking lot of it. I love myself.

 

On the internet. Yes.
IRL? Lol no.

 

Very low unfortunately

 

It's a lot better than it was, but not great. =/

 

I swear, my self-esteem is constantly in flux.

 

I feel I have too much and not enough at the same time.

 

Well, I'm not exactly secretive about it, worried and sad or not. :lol:

 

Depends on the day. I go from hating myself to thinking I'm the greatest being that's ever walked the planet.

Most of the time my self esteem is really high. I think I'm pretty great.

 

I used to have really low self-esteem, like really low. Now, I'm totally in love with myself. The difference? An abusive relationship. This is not a good way to fix that, but! the process I used to get myself out of that situation might help!

My ex used to tell me to give up on my dreams and school, that I was no good because I can't cook, I'm dumb, I'm boring, I'm not sexy, blah blah. Thing is, I didn't believe all of it at first but after 3 years, I did believe it. I got angry one day, at myself for being useless, spineless, etc. I looked in a mirror and threw abuse at myself. And then I realized that I could turn that around. I started taking 5 minutes in the morning to compliment myself, everyday. I started small, I've always loved my eyes and have a lot of fond memories of my mom commenting on them. So for 5 minutes I'd just tell myself "at least you got those eyes. If nothing else about you is awesome, those eyes still kick ass."

I don't do this unless I'm having a bad day now (it's been 3.5 years since I broke up with that guy). When I do need to do this, it's a lot easier now. I have a BA and 2 certificates. I have a career. I'm on my way to being bi-lingual. I've accomplished my dreams. I'm independant. I can play 3 instruments and read music. I did my first spark plug change in under 20 minutes in the dark. I'm debt free. Damn, I'm awesome.

 

More so than years and years ago

 

Physically very low, but sometimes I have like a .2 sec period of liking something about myself if some one compliments me..
Example: Person: Wow I love how you have really big eyes!
Me: Yeah maybe I do have nice eyes!
Me: No you dumbfuck, by big eyes she means bug eyes, learn between the lines you should just fucking gouge them out.
So yeah I have body dysmorphia. This is especially true with my eyebrows. I know that my eyebrows end exactly where they are supposed but it doesn't matter because when I look my self I see the tiniest bit of blonde peach fuzz in between my eyebrows and I see it as a unibrow. I know it's not there and I know that I don't have a unibrow but I can't get over the constant paranoia. I'm really good at hiding it though…so that's a good thing about me! With talents and stuff I have a lot more self esteem. I mean I can learn an entire alphabet in 3 days. And speak fluent spanish. AND I'm learning about 4 other (one of them is ancient greek so idk if that counts) languages so I'm gonna be friggin 6lingual by 2017 at the latest. I'm awesome!

 

I have some up days and some down days, I think I'm more high self esteem days. I don't really compliment myself as such but I have the self esteem to say to myself, "I look like a male model" but without the muscle of course.

 

Sommeeetimes... Mostly online. Irl I go hours without talking to anyone, and am fairly shy I guess :3

 

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Hm, this is an interesting question...

On the surface, obviously, I do have high self-esteem. But if you can get past my tremendous, but well-earned, ego, you might find a different answer. I say this, ironically, with confidence, because I developed an ego as a defense mechanism, many a year ago. It was my way of coping, of overcoming, of just getting through to the next day.

Nowadays? My ego is a very thick shield, that protects my vulnerabilities, and less a coping mechanism. I tamed it, to a degree. I'll admit, I still have some work to do, in regards to that.

Because I developed that ego, I obtained confidence. Sure, back then, it inspired rather questionable means of procuring self-esteem, because it typically came at the expense of others. I had a rather... malicious enjoyment, in breaking people, because it made me feel superior. Basically, if I could break somebody, I held power. If I could break somebody, who was considered unbreakable or significantly important, then I felt very superior, and I believed I had more power.

Almost everything was a game, to me. If I had the right information, a solid plan, and the intent to perform, then I'd win. And winning meant, I wasn't losing; I was 'better' than anybody who I did break, because they were too stupid to think, too desperate for acceptance, or too arrogant to believe themselves a target. I simply took what they gave me, used it, and returned it in a crippling manner.

So, my confidence, wasn't cleanly obtained. To be honest, my confidence is built upon hurt feelings and bruised flesh, two things that no empire of esteem should, ever, have as a foundation. Only in the past few years, have I started clearing that away, and replacing it with more a more positive foundation. But, I've made amends, as best I can, with who I can, and it is what it is. I know, if absolutely necessary, I'll either get what I desire, or I'll be remembered as coming so damn close to obtainment. That security of knowing, when shit hits the fan, that I won't panic or break, is reassuring.

Do I have self-esteem? Yes.
Am I necessarily proud of how I obtained it? No.
Have I been working on that? Absolutely.

 

I've been told that I have it in spades, which I have to assume means I'm an arrogant little prick... and I'm completely fine with that so yes? lol I'm very insecure tho, but I've learned that insecurity ≠ low self-esteem.

 

I have none. In tough situations I get down on myself and I cave. I really just don't have much confidence. I've had a rough year socially, and can't seem to keep all of the friends I had.

However with my coming out, it's been getting better. I see myself better in the mirror every morning. Plus I'm talking to someone at the moment, and that gives me a little confidence.

 

Physically I'd say its average, maybe even closer to high

 

Very very low. Not to play the woe is me card, but most people would have low self-esteem given the crap I've had and still have to deal with each day. I'm fat, have health problems galore, and I'm unemployed. I graduated from college, but it feels pretty wasted other than the common knowledge I possess. Nothing to see here.