People who joke around too much, and never take things seriously?

I totally relate
... and if I knew I fix I would tell ya, but unfortunately its a bit if a coping mechanism I suppose(*hug*)

 

:smilewave Me!

 

Hmm, kinda. Like my friends don't think I am serious becasue I joke heaps. And sometimes when I am upset I make it into the punchline.

 

Yes, I use sarcasm in humorous ways to do the same things. But.....as I have learned over the years, that it is a hindrance to other parts of your life. I have also learned, over the years, how to use my sarcasm to my advantage instead of using it as a shield.

You have to learn how to operate your "jokes" as a weapon of mass distraction, not a cover for your entire emotional life. You need to learn how to use the joking as a distraction to those specific situations and people to which you do not want to be bothered with or get involved with. And live with your serious side out in the open otherwise.

It takes some work to learn this for yourself, but it can be done.

The best "first step", is to be serious with those you would trust your life with.

 

It isn't the same thing. But it sounds kinda similar to something I have.

I kinda laugh a bit whenever I am nervous. Well mostly only when I am nervous and talking about myself. It is sort of automatic. It helps calm me down and concentrate on what I am saying. But because of this, I worry that people may not be taking me seriously when I would like them too. I may be talking about something serious and I'd just be laughing and giggling the whole time.

People who know me know this though. So it isn't too big of an issue.

 

I do this a lot. I can be vulnerable sometimes but I usually try to make a joke out of it. To be honest I think it makes me feel better when I find humour in things

 

It's the people who take things too seriously and don't joke around enough, that I have a problem with

 

Yeah. I think it is important to have a good balance. Too far in either direction isn't good. I think.

 

It's a good way of hiding the truth.

 

I do joke around a lot, maybe a little bit more than i should, but i do take things seriously if i need to. ^.^

 

Yeah and I often get paranoid when people don't laugh at my jokes.

 

A good laugh is simply an anguish cry, with or without tears.

It sounded deep, so, I'm running with it!

I'm guilty of using a little too much humor at times, but those who matter, know why I do this. Those who don't, well, they either will some day, or it is best not to have them linger too long in my life. Behind my silly puns and clever quips, beyond my egotistical perception and witty observations, there is a lonely and brooding quiver of a mess. When I have the will to do so, exploring the deepest, most close layers of myself, reveals quite a lot about me to myself.

Those who attempt to be funny, but come off as annoying, they can be problematic or difficult to tolerate. However, the most amusing tend to be, also, the most balanced in terms of expression. Even if you crack a joke too often, you probably know how severe to be in content and delivery. The fact you have acknowledged what you have about yourself, is a clear indication of your insight. I see no "big problem" with this, because humor is one of the most beautiful, most heartfelt endeavors there is. You just don't see enough of that in the world, in general, or, sadly, in the lives of most individuals here.

The key with being humorous, though, is as mentioned a few times previously -- balance. I've already explained why I believe you have balance, or the potential to achieve it. There is a time and a place, usually, for everything. In this particular situation, there is a time and a place, for being silly and for being serious. I doubt you're incapable of knowing when things become dire, and silliness needs to be dropped, and when things are comfortable or safe and sarcasm, for example, can be acceptable.

If you are bringing a smile to somebody's face, or allowing their pain to leave their body via laughter, then you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You are displaying the finer qualities of humanity, as opposed to succumbing to the alternative ones, and this is something -- an ideal partner or friend -- will see, respect, and cherish.

 

I think some people use it to distance others but give the appearance of camaraderie. I see it at work a lot.

 

I use a lot of humour, sometimes I have to hold myself back if it is not appropriate in a certain situation, and I need to be especially careful with dark humour that I sometimes slip into as it can be difficult to gage how people are going to react.

It comes fairly naturally to me because I find things amusing most of the time, in fact if I had to turn-off humour completely for any length of time this would be a big problem for me as I often slip out a joke, comment, gesture etc without even noticing.

I was once asked if I 'use it as a defence mechanism'. I suppose I do in a way, but for me it's sort of a bit more complicated. I'm naturally amused, so it makes me more comfortable to express it. I'm also very inclined towards boredom and feeling detached which is not great for other people around me if they end up bearing the brunt of my moodiness, so focusing on the positive is a far better alternative. Also a big part of it is that if I make someone laugh I feel as if I am contributing something to making their lives just a little bit better for a moment, even if it's just getting them to crack a grin when they're not feeling too happy, it makes me feel like I've succeeded in adding to their 'good things that happened today' to weigh against their 'bad things that happened today'.

To the OP: As long as you know when to turn it down as and when necessary it's probably not a big problem. Anyone that knows you well enough now or in the future will probably come to figure out that you use humour when feeling vulnerable rather than being intentionally callous.

The only time humour is ever TRULY harmful is when it's at another's expense, especially if that person is in your company at the time or is likely to find out about it. It can be tempting to dip into this when feeling challenged, as a way of lashing out, but unless the person causing such a feeling is being intentionally a massive bastard then it's uncalled for. Someone who needs to resort to malicious or cruel humour will think they are funny but everyone around them is thinking 'what a dick'. But I doubt this would be a problem for you, your post doesn't indicate it and not many people are that way especially if they wish to have a positive relationship with others.

 

I find it somewhat annoying. I think that there are times when humor and joking is acceptable and times when it's not. People that I know and joke around too much seemed to come off as not serious, caring, etc. I find a good balance between serious and silly to be good.

 

There's nothing wrong with joking around but if someone's actually not capable of being serious it's pretty much impossible to ever really be close to them. They get a bit dull after a while tbh

 

My ex gf was exactly like that, used humour to cover up everything. We met at work, and one day I just saw through it, saw the sadness that was there in her eyes and somehow, after some time, she actually let me in. Don't know how or why, but it seems to take someone who is willing to push beyond the humour and see what really on the inside. She never wanted to be close to someone, or for anyone to know the real her. I think it just took, someone who was willing to be there and willing to push back for her to realise that it is okay to let some people in. There were many times when I knew something was wrong and yet she would never tell me what, or she would try to pretend that she was fine and would make a joke.

I hope that maybe one day you will find that person who is willing to stick around no matter what, and are willing to refuse to be pushed away

 

I think my issue is more that my humor is pretty black and self deprecating, and makes fun of everybody and crosses all the lines. I can't think of a horrible event I wouldn't joke about, and when I sit with my friends we trade endless insults that aren't actually meant seriously. Some people really hate that, or don't like racial or identity based humor.