No one "suddenly becomes" a homophobe, you just never gave them a reason to bring it to light beforehand.
If someone is a straight ally and then turned into a homophobe, they were or are acting to fit in. I don't like to think some grown up can do that kinda thing. On young ages however people do this or similar kind of things to fit in. My brother gone from stereotype/cool type to other faster than a chameleon can change colors when he was a teenager. He was a metal head one day, next week he was sooo into folk and talk trash about metal. He even changed back and forth between being an atheist or full believer. In the end tho' all those examples small things and hurt no one other than his reputation. I see that kind of thing as part of growing up unless you are hurting someone/some people.
There are self-proclaimed allies who like having the status as an arbiter; the moment you tell them to stay their hand or apply it when they actually need to, they get huffy. So many like the idea that they're the superior supporters on whom we rely and will happily withdraw support the moment you tell them how half-hearted or self-serving their support really is. Faux-liberal attempts to get rainbow cookies, attempts that turn sour when confronted about the rationalisation behind the support, aren't sudden changes; they're just the natural progression of the same demeaning attitude when told that it's unwelcome. Short of an extensive conversion from social acceptance to reactionary bigotry (say, an odd turn to intolerant religion that slowly corrodes their support), I don't see any other reason for such sudden changes of mindset.
Those "sudden homophobes" are just the byproduct of us finally living in a time where homophobia is being challenged and exposed as the hate group that it has always been. Simply put, in a lot of countries it's not socially acceptable to be an outspoken homophobe anymore, and with the rise of the internet, they don't get to post "FAGS WILL ROT IN HELL" on public forums without some sort of push-back/backlash (rightfully so). Some homophobes don't give a shit about smearing their names with their bigotry, but others are just adapting. Not adapting their mind-sets mind you, they are still homophobes through and through, they are just learning how to mask it, how to be "tolerant" in everything but practice and still reap the benefits associated with it. It's the socially acceptable homophobe, their attempt to have their cake and eat it too (the sensationalist side of me likes to think of them as the sleeper-agent equivalents of homophobes).
"socially acceptable homophobes". Yup, pretty much. My parents have turned out to be like this... They've actually said to my face, back when they thought I was straight, that they would never discriminate against someone because of their orientation. Yet, when I came out to them as bisexual, they decided that they were disgusted with me, and almost kicked me out of the house.
Yes, I knew someone once. I had met her through a friend of mine and we hung out quite often. I knew she was extremely religious but she was also a very nice person. It was around the time I started coming out to everyone and being that she was a good friend, I told her. She seemed pretty okay with it at first but then slowly started to tell me things like "You know.. being gay is a sin" and " I'm still your friend but I don't support your choice to be bisexual." I had another friend at the time who met her at my birthday (before this all happened) and they had found out they where cousins. She was bisexual as well and found out that her cousin didn't support the LGBTQ+ community. She never said anything to her and pretended to be straight and refused to back me up when her cousin was saying these things to me. Needless to say, I ended up leaving them both.
Being okay with LGBT people and having one in family usually ain't the same thing unfortunately. That seems illogical but for some people it is like that. I remember reading some lesbian lady's story. Her parents were having a gay couple to dinner and such in their house which is very very very uncommon in this society. They were like superb accepting persons and mega supporters of LGBT community in Turkish standarts. However when she came out as lesbian to them, they took it very bad. After fights and constant arguements she run away with her lover. They brought her back somehow but forced to them to break up. Later when they realize they were still seeing each other behind their parents back, they kicked girls out of their respective houses. Take it as you will.
Yes, it's different. I'm not saying it's not. Even as a member of the LGBT community, I've felt that difference when my younger sister decided to come out to me (though that difference is rooted in "I hope she doesn't have as hard a time as I have" types of feelings). But I've been given reason to doubt my parents ever had the kind of supporting views that I thought they did at one point.
*thumbs up, both hands and feet* And speaking of which, I've also had an unpleasant experience with someone like that. We were, supposedly, pretty damn close, but then I confessed about my sexuality, and it all went straight to hell.
I've heard stories of homophobes/MRAs/racists realizing the error of there ways, so I suppose it could go the other way around too.
