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Do you want a monogamous relationship? Why?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Burnedcloset, Dec 9, 2014.

  1. Burnedcloset

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    So, explain why you would want a monogamous relationship. Could you not love two different human beings equally? Would that not be fair?

    Also, explain why you would want an open relationship, if you do?
    What would be the difference in the relationships? What has your experience with them been like?

    I personally, would want a monogamous relationship. I'm not secure enough so, jealousy would be a problem. Also, I don't think I could love two different people equally, and that wouldn't be fair IMO.
     
  2. Fallingdown7

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    For me I prefer to be monogamous because I think love/sex is something special between two partners (For ME, nothing against open relationships for others) and I get very jealous very easily.

    However, I support open relationships and poly in a general sense. If someone is not monogamous, I think It's wrong to force them to be. I also don't like people that want to sleep/date other people but think their partner should be monogamous to them. That isn't right.

    Basically, there's no right or wrong answer. It's just what you feel is best for you.
     
  3. drwinchester

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    Because one boyfriend is plenty.
     
  4. Aussie792

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    I would hate to balance out the needs and wants of two partners at any one time; the dynamics of monogamy are far simpler. For me, it would also dilute the quality of the relationship if I had to share a partner, let alone sharing two, and I'd fear that one would always be ever so slightly excluded.

    And the most realistic argument is, of course, that external pressures from the lack of social legitimacy, a blow in its own right, would weaken a relationship. It's something that has to be rectified and is certainly not just, but it would make it really hard.
     
  5. SeerOfHeart

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    I'd definitely be down for a monogamous relationship.

    On the other hand, I'd also at least try a polyamorous one- not in the sense of an "open" relationship where they're both only my partners, but in the sense that all three (or more, who knows!) of us would be partners together. I think a monogamous relationship is much, much more likely to happen in my future, but if I happened to end up in a polyamorous relationship where everyone really loved each other, I don't think I could complain.
     
    #5 SeerOfHeart, Dec 9, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014
  6. stocking

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    I like monogamous relationships ,because I prefer having one partner I don't like having two and it's much better for me. I'm a person that likes having my lover pay attention to me I don't like competing with another person .

    I have been in many polygamous relationships before with me and 3 other girls from me dating 3 guys at once .
    Polygamous relationships don't work for me , they have drained me emotionally to the point where I was jealous of the other woman in the relationship . I just can not do the sharing ,and even if I was the main woman with 2 girls at my feet; I still longed to just be to with one woman . Also even if I loved 2 girls I'm always gonna have one I loved more than the other one .

    Poly relationships left me depressed , even sending my self esteem very low the fact that there was another woman in the group . I want the person I love to only want me I don't want to share with everyone else ,and being that I have been in a few that left me pretty devastated and with shattered sense of self . I know their not for me and my girlfriends tried to make me not feel that way I just can't do them . Plus it's very hard to keep up with two people or even more and try to meet their needs or have them try to meet you're needs I just can't do it . I've had many poly relationships and none worked my happiest relationship were monogamous ones .
    Poly and open relationships is just not for me :dry:
    Plus get jealous easily so no
     
  7. Candace

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    I would want to have a monogamous relationship. It'd be impossible for me to love two people equally. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be loving someone else. He shouldn't be my boyfriend part of the time, just like my best friend or brother is not that role part of the time. That's not me being possessive either. I want a relationship just between me and him. It's just not for me.
     
  8. Ditz

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    Monogamous all the way... As the saying goes, two is a party, three is a crowd!

    For me a relationship is an emotional bond, a sexual relationship is a spiritual bond and a sexual relationship with a partner is a unity whereby the two of you become singular, it's a unit where each other's strengths and weaknesses balance each other out. There's an emotional support and closeness that you can't have with friends, siblings or parents.

    A chain is only as strong as its weakest link... For me that saying also applies. There's fewer links between two people than three ,four or more, and so adding links (people) to a sexual relationship weakens it on many levels. For one, you open yourself up to a host of emotional insecurities which manifests itself in jealousy and I've seen many open relationships bite the dust because of it... Inevitably someone will feel or become insecure and then the jealousy starts that rips a relationship apart.

    Basic common sense would tell you that being in a monogamous relationship with one person cuts down on the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases... It only takes one person to be un-safe in a moment of passion or weakness and then spread it like a wild fire.

    For me it's all about finding THE ONE, a SOUL MATE, my OTHER HALF to complete me. That's something I'm not willing to share with a third party.
     
  9. Notlad

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    Because I'm selfish and I want someone to myself so I can feel special for being his one and only, or some other dumb shit.
     
  10. tyler h

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    I can't imagine myself being open to anything but a monogamous relationship. I want as special and deep a connection with someone as I can possibly get. I really don't believe that I could get that if his affections would be shared. Also, I can just picture if I were in a relationship with additional guys, I imagine that I would start to kind of just have a favorite, which would be a disaster...
     
  11. the haunted

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    Maybe, maybe not.

    I've only been in monogamous relationships my whole life, but that's not to say that I wouldn't be open to the idea of a polygamous relationship. I'm not a very jealous person, really. I think the idea of three women in a relationship together is beautiful. I don't find the idea of truly loving more than one person to be very odd. If done correctly and with the right participants, I think a three-way relationship has amazing potential.
     
  12. SecretRainbow

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    I've only ever been in monogamous relationships and I can say that if I were in anything but a monogamous relationship I feel like I'd get jealous really easily. I wouldn't say I'm possessive but what's mine, I don't like to share :3
     
  13. FlamingPenguin

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    I personally would prefer a monogamous relationship because I 1. Don't believe that I could love two people equally and without comparing them and 2. Because when I'm in a relationship I want to get to know them 100% I want to know that they love me as much as I love them and if I loved two people how would I ever know that. Also I want to get a cat and multiple women in my life would just confuse the poor guy :slight_smile:
     
  14. womaninamber

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    I can be really needy, insecure, and jealous. Not creepy jealous, but just... always thinking somebody else must be better than me, and that would get pretty weird if my partner had another partner. On the one hand these are things I should definitely work on, but I don't think I'm ever going to get to the point where I'd be comfortable in a polyamorous relationship. But that's for me; I know people including in my own family who are polyamorous and really happy with it.
     
  15. Black Raven

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    I really fucking don't.

    Monogamy has forced me to lose my way and make decisions I don't want to make all too often, I'm done with it.

    I have alot of love, and I have it for all who deserve and want it.
    Love is good. Trying to force me to restrict or restrain my love is selfish, cruel, and always ends in a mess. I tried monogamy, because some of those I loved required me to, but it never worked out.

    Not because I can't be faithful, oh no, that is NOT the reason at all. I'm the opposite of a jealous person as well. No, most of the time those I forsook other options for ended up leaving me.

    If people can't deal with me having and showing love and affection to all those dear to me, to all deserving, then they can bugger off. I'm not playing this game anymore. This isn't me sleeping around either, it's me having genuine affection and feelings for more than one person at a time. I don't need to be able to fuck everyone, I need to be able to be with all I love dearly.

    Love in itself is never bad.
    Deal with it.
     
    #15 Black Raven, Dec 9, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014
  16. the haunted

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    :eusa_clap
     
  17. Black Raven

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    Thanks, I suppose. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  18. the haunted

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    You hit the nail on the head, in my opinion. Lol.
     
  19. QueerQueen

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    Monogamous for me. I do get jealous, but that really isn't the reason why I am interested in monogamous relationships. Truthfully when I really like someone or love someone I am like dead set on that person, I mean I waited on one girl for three years just because I wanted so badly for her to be end game.. I was in love with her.. I mean that's over now, but I'm very much that person that is stubborn and only wants that one girl and no others will do. I'm not against open relationships there just not for me, I'm happy with 1 on 1.
     
  20. Burnedcloset

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    Preach it. I was waiting for a reply like that. To clarify things for me.

    It's not for me but, after you explained it, I can understand. You answered all the questions I had.

    Thxs
     
    #20 Burnedcloset, Dec 9, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014