Good Matches

[Ojala]

I don't know if anyone else has this same problem but, one of the worst things that always happens to me is when one of my girl friends have crushes on me. I just feel awful when I can't explain why I just can't reciprocate any of the same feelings.
Anyway, so the other day my sister (who knows I'm gay btw) and I were talking and I was telling her about how I was a little concerned about a friend of mine who might have a crush on me. And my sister said to me, "it's too bad you don't like girls because she'd be a good match for you."
I can't deny it, it's true - she'd pretty much be perfect for me if I was straight. It's sort of depressing in it's own way but I know it would be ferociously unfair to her if I decided to try going out with her.
The funny thing is that she's the second girl that I've felt this way about (the first one I came out to almost a month ago) - the universe just loves to tease me apparently :P lol

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had similar experiences that made you think, "if only I was straight, you'd be perfect!"

Well, this didn't actually happen to me. My friend Elly had a huge crush on our mutual friend Sean. They became really close and went out to lunch all the time (we had open campus at lunch so we could go out to eat). None of us could tell if he was gay, straight, metro or what. She finally gets the nerve to talk to him about her feelings and she was like "So people keep asking me if we're dating, and I'm not exactly sure what to tell them, I mean, I really like you and all," and he was like "Uhm...well...the thing is (he's not so good with words), I don't want to lead you on or anything but....I'm gay" (and he did this really weird hand gesture that he makes fun of himself for all the time).

Knowing that he was gay actually made her feel a lot better about herself, in her exact words, "part of me was really upset that he is gay, but part of me was like oh, I'm not completely undesirable by men," he even told her that if he was straight he would date her.

Since then it took her a while to stop wishing he was straight, but their relationship is so much better (and more real) without her trying to impress him and them just being friends.

Do whatever you feel comfortable doing, but it might be a good idea to let this friend know why you couldn't like her and it may give her peace of mind (and another person you can be completely real with).

[sdc91]

lol I've had that feeling before... and I thought I'd be able to date them until my inner voice kicked in and told me it wouldn't be fair to her (or me)... and down the road the relationship would just collapse.

[jbb1236]

It's happened to me at least twice, I'm still good friends with one of them, and the other moved to California with her fiance, and haven't talked to her much after that. But yeah, i felt horrible for both of them. I actually had to tell one of them that it wasn't going to work, it was tough, she really liked me, still does really.

[Ben]

I've had this before three times with girls that I really like as friends.

It feels so evil having to turn them down.

[Geist]

you are not alone on that one it has happened to me plenty of times. I ended up having to come out to them just to make them understand that it had nothing to do with them.

[Ojala]

Originally Posted by Invisible

I've had this before three times with girls that I really like as friends.

It feels so evil having to turn them down.

Exactly! I just have to wonder why I have to be the one to hurt cool people lol
Cool people shouldn't be hurt

[Orion]

Well this sort of happened to me, there was this girl in school, last year and we were always friends (sometimes good friends) and this one time we ended up making out on my couch which was silly since I already knew I played for the other team.

Anyway she never told me but another friend of me told me she had developed quite the heavy crush on me :S and I had to sit there and explain to her why it couldn't be (without telling her I'm gay), which led a lot of lying to cover up.
So... in conclusion not only did I ended up as "The Jerk" I also ended up as a Liar.
I know I'm terrible

[EmperorNero]

Being bisexual, I don't see myself having that problem, no. But I feel sorry for every one who does.

[spellbound118]

Yep i know exactly what you mean. The last year in which ive been trying to accept who i am i've had two guys liking me, jealousy of my friends was pretty bad! All it did was cause me stress and they couldn't see why i didn't chose one and date them. They are both really amazing people and one i speak to everyday online..but he still doesn't know im gay. I feel reaaaaaally bad that i haven't told him, he has big confidence problems and i want to be there for him,i dunno how he would react. Also im not out to everyone yet and he would probably tell his mate who is my mates boyrfiend, who doesn't know, yeah very complicated!
The other guy who i tried going out with but well as you can guess it was a disaster, theres only so many excuses you can come with for not wanting to move forward in a relationship at 17..so i don't talk to him much anymore as i had to make out we just didn't get on. Hopefully ill feel ok to be out to everyone soon then i can be honest with them all.