Making peace with impending death.

Well said (or should I say typed?).
I myself for a long time struggled (and sometimes still do) with the fear of death. It's a completely normal and human thing, a survival instinct so to speak and due to a rough childhood I was introduced to the concept rather early. I am both religious and spiritual, I feel the majority of living beings enter heaven when they pass and are reunited with lost loved ones. Though a part of me also believes in ghosts, spirits, demons, all of those things. I've found comfort with knowing all pass, I'm not singled out in any way, shape or form, I am a living being just like all others.
Blessing, best wishes and good vibes to you. (*hug*)

 

Since I've spent most of the history of the universe not existing I don't fear not existing again, only the possibility of an unpleasant transition into nonexistence

 

Acceptance of death like you have sounds quite healthy. You are fully aware of mortality, but rather than causing you distress, it urges you to live more eagerly. And it will allow you peace when your final moments do come.

But science marches on and we may defeat death still; it's not egotistical to wish to live forever or even a day longer. It only means we may more fully experience life, which is never a bad thing.

 

I am not fearful of death. I don't particularly want it to happen, but I have accepted that it happens, and people die for many reasons.

 

i am glad of your newfound peace, op, and hope i may have it some day too because my stress about death has shortened my life span i am certain

 

"We will die sooner or later, why worry about it?" is my motto. What troubles me more is looking stupid by the way I died. Other than that I am looking forward to see the ending... world's before me if possibly as I would probably very upset that I missed that.

When it comes to death of others I love... that is whole another story.

 

When we're young we're invincible but the older we get the more realistic we become about mortality. Like the line from "The Gambler" goes, "The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep". I don't fear death itself nearly as much as the possibility of cancer slowly eating me up, living in a vegetative state from a stoke and/or my biggest fear of all, the horror of blindness. Not a religious person or regular church goer but very much a believer. I'd like the luxury of just enough time to be sure things are square with God.

 

I am terrified of death.
It's that fear that keeps me from doing stupid shit that could cause me to reach that unpleasant thing quicker.
There is so much shit that I want to do and it cannot be fitted into one lifetime, and that annoys me, and ultimately makes me scared of the time when I have to give it all up and not get to experience everything I want to.
Mahne this attitude of mine will change as I grow older, but I really hope it doesn't. The lack of belief in anything after this pushes me to do pushes me to do everything I want to do, and my fear of death ensures that I never shorten the amount of time I have to do that in.

Ultimately, everything I just said is near enough bullshit, as, in reality, I cannot express why I fear it, or how I fear it, I just know that I do, and that was me trying to rationalise it and explain it, which I have thoroughly failed at doing.
But yeah, death terrifies me, meh.

 

I think fear of death is one thing.
What makes the fear deeper is the thought of dying without having felt what happiness and love are really like. That's a bit deep isn't it...

 

These posts pretty much are how I view it. I'm not afraid of death really; I'd just hope that my transition from this life is relatively peaceful.

 

I think this is a healthy attitude to have, Damien. Death has never been one of my major fears, I wouldn't say I don't view it with apprehension, but it's not something that is on my mind much.

I have a friend, however, who is seriously troubled by it. He worries a lot about dying, not just his own death but others as well. He's plagued by the passage of time and has a lot of fears about getting older (he's 26 I think, so far too young to have this worry). He says it's a fear of eternity and that it makes him feel "surreal." We've talked about it many times but I still have a hard time understanding exactly what it is that puts so much terror into him, when he rationally knows he doesn't need to be thinking about it (but can't stop). I've said as much as I've been able to think of from my point of view, and at most it just temporarily quells him. Do you have any advice or perspective on this? (or does anyone else in this thread?)

 

Very well said!

I remember the first death in our family that I was able to comprehend - I think I was 6? I was really close to my grandma and I just remember being comforted by the "you'll see her again, don't worry!"

While I am not particularly religious, this is what gives me hope.

Death is hard, because we truly do not know what is going to happen. People might say they "went to heaven and came back" but it's not like we can verify that!

We just need to live our lives and enjoy the time we have!

---------- Post added 12th Dec 2014 at 08:56 AM ----------

Even though I just posted about this nonchalantly, I am pretty similar to your friend. I tend to fixate on things, and death has been a recent one for me. I think it's because I'm in nursing school so I am beginning to think about life in a different sense, all that. I also relate it to kind of feeling like I'm not totally settled yet - I'm in school. That's pretty much the biggest thing going on right now. I'm living at home, not dating anyone.....etc. I hope that once I explore more I'll be able to see even more beauty in life and let this worry go.

 

Myself, I'm terrified of death. It's definitely something that has kept me awake many nights, all though my life, and no matter how much I say 'What happens, happens, so why worry', I still worry. Just can't seem not to...not sure what is wrong with me, as so many people seem so at peace with the idea. Maybe it's because I'm not at all religious, or even very spiritual? I've had friends who say to take a Buddhist approach, but even that doesn't seem to calm me, and then, all I have is doubt...

I hope they find a cure for it soon!

One fear I have is that death will be boring, that one will be helpless, or 'dissolved' in an emotionally painful way...hard to explain, but I have troubles with the idea.

 

The one thing I do not fear is death itself. I do fear any possible pain I might endure in the process, but death... I'm pretty much open to the idea.

I am happy though, that you found some meaning in the idea and are starting to cope with it.

 

I've had two or three near-death experiences, but only one of them was, in my opinion, on the brink of really dying, which was a car accident I had -- it was too close. Based on what I experienced then, death might be a numbing coldness that swells across the body, and your thoughts become lightly flickering patches of fuzz.

I know, that last part doesn't make too much sense, but it's the only coherent way to describe it.

As for what happens when you, actually, kick the bucket. I'm not exactly sure, despite all sorts of theories and beliefs.

Now, do I fear death? Not exactly.

I'm more so afraid of when it will come, and if I will have done everything I set out to do. I have an ego, and I'm not afraid to admit this, so the idea of being deprived of this world, and possibly forgotten is not a comforting thought. I'm more concerned with all the knowledge I've learned, deeds I've performed, and individuals I've influenced, being lost with my demise, and the world's harshness prevailing. It is absolutely egotistical of me to think, but I think of myself as the only thing, sometimes, keeping a flame alive inside of darkness.

And when I'm gone, that darkness will feast upon that flame, and no more will anybody see hope.

Ideally, before I die, this is a basic list of things I hope to accomplish:

- Global Domination
- Find a protege; somebody who will keep my dreams, ideas, and beliefs, in this world.
- For all the bad things I've done to another, to somebody else give them what I took.
- Possibly transition, if circumstances will permit me. So far, it's a work in progress.
- Experience love, of the intimate variety (not just sex, but a bonding of two hearts), at least once, so I know I'm not incapable of belonging or being wanted.

Everything else, like a possible better form of employment or surpassing any exercise goals, are secondary. They would be nice to accomplish, but they're heavy preferences, just beneath absolutely mandatory.

If I get to choose my end, I don't want it to be exactly meaningless. I couldn't stand the thought of, in my final few seconds, knowing I died like a fool soon to be forgotten.

 

A fear of death is perfectly normal. We actively try to prolong life and avoid death. It's a normal reaction in virtually every species.

Personally, I'd like to say that I'm at peace with dying, or that my biggest fear is not accomplishing what I want, but it's not true. I am going to die st some point, but I'm not happy about it. I used to cry when I was a kid at the mere thought of dying. I would worry a lot about nuclear war.

It doesn't preoccupy my mind half as much as it used to, but I don't think I'll ever be at peace with it. There are still days when I think 'Holy shit.. One day I will cease to exist' and it makes me feel sick.

 

I think it's best to get to the point where you are frail and your thought processes aren't the sharpest (though not necessarily dementia or something like that) so that you are sort of zoning out and go somewhat peacefully, not really caring much nor being afraid.

I've had some loved ones go this way, in a weakened state albeit somewhat peacefully and painlessly, and they seemed resigned to the fact that they had lived their lives, there wasn't much else left to do, and it was all coming to a close.

 

I personally, *think* I have accepted death. I know it happens and I'm not afraid. I AM afraid of not living a true life. I want to experience things. I want do the things I want to do. I haven't even started my life, and that scares the literal shit out of me. I'm 18 years old and I haven't done ANYTHING. It's not my fault, my parents have held me back from experiencing life. I understand they don't even know they have held me back but, they have. I shouldn't blame anyone else but, I do.

I will make a list of the things I want to get done before I go. Maybe it will be therapeutic for me. I've never actually made a list.

-leave home and support myself. Independence is #1 on my list.
-come out -_- obviously
-actually understand who I am truly. Obtain a personality.
-become a socially able person.
-find some sort of love, be it true love or not. (I don't beleive In true love but, if it happens that will change my mind)

I'm not very old/mature, and I understand this lot may be immature. It's just how I feel at this moment in life.

 

I'd like to think that I have decades to go, but I know that's not a guarantee. When my mother was 7 years younger than I am now, she was babysitting, felt a little ill, sat down on the floor propped against the wall, had a massive heart attack and died. I could live to 100 or be gone tomorrow.

I like to think that I've done the best I could for the people that I care about, and while I expect to leave some kind of mess behind me, whether it be financial or emotional or just plain old junk, I could die tomorrow and feel OK about it. I don't WANT to, and especially now, I hope to live to a very old age so I can have a happy live as the person I always wanted to be. But I don't feel that I have intentionally hurt anyone, and I haven't held back on caring for the people in my life, and I haven't wasted my talents or abilities. I've given life my all. My hope is that my guy and I live to be very old, embarrass the other folks in the nursing home with our open affection and double entendres, and die within a short time of one another. If it doesn't work out that way, then at least we had whatever time together, and aren't pretending to be something we aren't anymore.