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Are masculine bisexual men more open to dating fem gay men?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BloodFlame, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. BloodFlame

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    It's pretty much a safe guarantee that most, if not, all masculine gay men want to date other men like them. "If they wanted to date someone feminine, they'd go for a real girl." I get it... But do masculine bisexual men feel this way too or would they be more open to dating a feminine gay man?
     
  2. Black Raven

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    Why is that a safe guarantee? I've never heard of this before.

    I don't really have any patterns (Well okay, he/she needs to be pretty :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: ), and I'm completely open to dating feminine gay men!
     
  3. Burnedcloset

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    Well think about it this way. Would a masc bisexual man mind dating a masculine female? He shouldn't.

    I understand people have preferences. I'm in the middle. I would date either types of guys.

    If your a "real man", You shouldn't mind being/dating femme or masc guys. You can have a preference but, it shouldn't be a must. Femme phobia is not good. "Real men" don't belittle others for being who they are.
     
    #3 Burnedcloset, Dec 11, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2014
  4. gravechild

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    I think you have a better chance at finding a masculine bisexual man who is willing to give femmes a chance, since they're usually accustomed to dealing with women, so someone who is considered in "between" the two isn't too much of a stretch. A lot of times, they're top, too!

    It's the queeny twinks who usually say things like, "Ugh, I need a REAL MAN!"
     
  5. BloodFlame

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    It's a safe guarantee for me because from what I've personally experienced, that's just how it's has been. I know I can't say this for allbut I'm just being realistic here...

    Yeah but for women, it's mostly different from what I've seen. Masculine women are still desired as opposed to fem gay men. Feminine gay men from what I've witnessed are always just the "friend."

    I've tried experiencing intimate feelings for feminine men and it just didn't click. I feel like a masculine guy would balance out things if that makes sense. But as I've witnessed, gay masculine men don't want anything to do with someone like me so I felt compelled to asking if bisexual men are more open-minded in that regard is all.


    I'm a bit skinny and give off a fem vibe but I don't think I'm "queeny"... lol

    But that's cool I guess. So maybe guys like me should move our attention over to bisexual men as they'd be more open to dating us?
     
  6. gravechild

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    Bisexual men can be a mixed bag, honestly, but from what I've seen, no, they don't shy away from those who outside the traditional boxes. There are exceptions, of course, but the fact that they identify as bi makes them more receptive to trying out new things, phase or not.

    Just stay away from "straight" guys and dudemanbros. :wink:
     
  7. MrK21

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    That is kind of messed up. Real men respect each other's personal space. Okay we need to stop throwing words like femme phobia, biphobia, and racism just for refusing to date someone. Good grief what's next zombie-phobia? It's not right to reject dating someone just because they were once dead. It is nothing but bigotry. What about top phobia? I am a slightly more on the fem side and I would completely understand if people wouldn't want me because I am a fem. Or because I am bi. We do not live in a fictional utopia where discrimination does not exist. I am a fem top that likes masculine men that bottom, but those just don't seem to exist.
     
  8. InsertUserHere

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    It's not really specific. I've pretty much only been attracted to more masculine guys, but they're usually straight. I guess I don't have a bucket of experience though.
     
  9. Rawrzilla

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    Aw shit, this why I didn't wanna reply to this thread (but I had to click anyway didn't I? Grrr)

    Eeeeeh, I take issue with everything being implied here. First off, you can't tell people what they should or shouldn't like without sounding like an asshole, that's not for you to decide. It's up to each individual and that's their business and their business only.

    Secondly, having preferences regarding who you would want to fuck has nothing to do with femmephobia. Femmephobia is the fear and hatred of all the people perceived as femme, you can treat femme guys with the respect they deserve without wanting to bang them. Those are not mutually exclusive. I mean, by the flawed logic you applied here, you would be a misogynist for not being attracted to women and yet we both know that's not true.

    Lastly, you are not doing your argument any favors by recurring to sexist ad hominem's like what a "real man" is supposed to be. What the hell does that even mean? That's the kind of stereotypical macho bullshit I expect to hear from the opposition trying to denigrate us (you know, the homophobes), not from people on our side.

    Agh, I will leave it there since I'm currently enable to touch this with a cool head.
     
  10. drwinchester

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    Eh, I think it depends moreso on the individual. My partner is bisexual personally more attracted to masculine men and women. Me? I'm gay but I prefer my partners to be more in the middle- neither overtly masculine nor feminine.

    But I don't know about general trends. Maybe? I know a lot of bisexual men cool with dating trans and gender nonconforming people so maybe that's part of it?
     
  11. Zoolander

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    I see myself as a fairly masculine Bi guy. I may not seem macho, but I do traditionally "manly" things like blacksmithing and am into sports/first person shooter video games. I generally find myself gravitating to gay or bi guys who are more fashionable, emotional, and bubbly which seem feminine to me.
     
  12. gravechild

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    Sorry, this is more-or-less what I meant.
     
  13. Burnedcloset

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    I'm sorry if I sounded like an asshole. I might have.

    I understand people are more compatible with certain types of people. I just think I would like someone for who they are. Not because they are labeled a "masc guy" by society's standards.
    also, not saying being attracted to masculinity is being femmephobic/misogynist (I understand why it sounded that way, sbt ). Saying stuff like "I don't date feminine guys", is a little insensitive to me and a bit judgemental. Giving someone a chance is all I'm saying should be done.

    me saying "real man", wasn't meant in the way your perceiving it. I added the " " to it to symbolize me not truly meaning it in the way it sounded. I don't know what it means either!

    I recant my original post, I'm still learning. And hey, if I was right, I would have put up a good fight. Just saying. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    (*hug*)
     
  14. BloodFlame

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    Well that stinks for me... I mean, that bisexual men can just as much prefer other masculine men like themselves as gay masculine men can.

    *sigh*

    Huh, is that right. Well, if you had to choose, would you go with another masculine guy or a feminine guy? I'm not talking in between here because I feel at the end of the day, both sides can be this but at face value, it's different.
     
  15. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    But that's what I'm saying. One bisexual man isn't every bisexual man. Everyone's got preferences.
     
  16. Black Raven

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    I would choose the one I like better as a person. Simple as that.
     
  17. BloodFlame

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    That may be true but there has to some correlation of where the preference can go I feel.
    Like I said, in my personal experience, most, if not all masculine gay men don't want to have a relationship with a feminine gay guy. I have yet to see anyone in my life actually say they want to date a feminine guy. They mostly think of people like me as annoying or giving a bad image of gay people.

    So that's why I got curious about bisexual men.
     
  18. Black Raven

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    Well I have a completely different personal experience.

    I know a great many masculine gay men that just love their feminine partners, or well, feminine men in general. It could really just be the part of the world you live in.

    It's not much different for bisexuals. Some prefer masculine men, some prefer feminine men, and some, like my humble self, don't care much as long as they're pretty and have a compatible and fun personality!
     
  19. gravechild

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    I don't know, maybe it depends on your location or where you're looking? I know for a fact that there are more than a small number of masculine guys out there who prefer feminine men. Perhaps they're insecure and battling with internalized homophobia. Maybe they just find *you* annoying aside from being feminine?

    I'm bisexual, but don't exactly consider myself a man, let alone a masculine one! That said, I greatly prefer feminine leaning and androgynous guys. Cross dressing, little body hair, submissiveness, it's all fair game. The only issue is if they expect me to be their opposite in every way.

    So don't give up! Femme lovers exist!
     
  20. BloodFlame

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    I have a feeling you're just one of the lucky ones to notice it because I've taken a look at how other men in states feels and it's the same thing, even worse in the south (which isn't surprising).

    I just want to know who I'd have a better chance with because it's most certainly not with gay men. At this point, I'd date an attached bi-guy if he'd accept me for me.

    Emphasis on "small". I don't believe the internalized homophobia anymore because at the end of the day, these men are still attracted to men, just men like them and hate feminine men (or rather, not want anything to do with them). So in a way, I guess "gay" is just the term of endearment for liking men who act, look, and behave like men should while feminine men should not be put into the equation.

    From what I noticed at other feminine gay who happen to get a relationship, it's usually

    A.) Someone they're not really attracted to but got with because they had no other options.
    B.) Someone who's 2-3-4x their age and most of the time, using said older guy for his money.
    C.) An abusive *mental/physical/both*relationship because the masculine guy knows he can get away with it because the fem guy, most likely won't be able to find another guy.
    D.) Actually has attraction to other fem men.