Currently, I'm in a relationship with one of my best friends, I'll call her Lindsey. She's a wonderful person and a perfect girlfriend, and honestly I have nothing to complain about. We have a mutual best friend, who I'll call James, who is gay and very affectionate. He and Lindsey are very close, and they do almost everything together. And I mean everything. Like right now they're hanging out at her house most likely watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. They have a song, they have more inside jokes than she and I do, they've hung out more in a week than I have with her in the two months we've been dating. They call each other husband and wife, they plan their futures together, and the real kicker is that James constantly puts himself between Lindsey and I whilst saying, "Back off, she's mine." I love both of them dearly, truly, and Lindsey and I agreed on being friends before girlfriends right from the beginning. And I really try to understand/respect the whole "friends come before boy/girlfriends" rule that our friend group has implemented, but I always feel like my girlfriend will leave me for a gay man. Can I tell James that I feel like a third wheel, or is that a bad move? Should I tell Lindsey how I feel, or will that ruin everything? I feel stuck and I hope someone can help :help:
Telling Lindsey how you feel is probably the best way to go about things. If you do plan on being with this girl for a long time you will go through many other situations like this and communication is key to a good relationship. It's cliché but from what I've seen/experienced it's the only way to resolve conflicts and problems because most of the time it won't go away on its own.
If you don't like the way things currently are, the only way you can change it is by talking about it. If you don't talk about it, you'll just have to accept the way it is. I'd talk to your girlfriend about the issues rather than James. And don't worry about a gay man stealing your girlfriend.... we like other boys!
Say something about it. Don't let the problem fester. And perhaps you should get rid of that rule. There's really no point in having an immature restriction on how you do things among your friends if it's harming your relationship, your friendships and your ability to feel secure.
I agree with what the others are saying. Talk about it. These problems will only be resolved if she understands what you're feeling about it. Communication is very important. Good luck.
