OK, so this was over a month ago... But I said some things I regret saying and I can't get it off my chest unless I talk about it so... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/157870-fear-feared.html When I made this. I was feeling very depressed and pessimistic. I blew things way out of proportion. I even mentioned rape. There was absolutely no need for that. The responses I got were good. But... I feel like people probably saw that, were offended, and decided not to reply. Because well... At least when I look back at this, I feel like I was just being whiny. Well I was depressed, and needed to vent, I don't feel too bad about that. What I regret most is my wording. Like I was comparing my problems to being raped, and that is offensive. Especially to the people who actually were raped... Though it should be noted, that wasn't my intention. Even then. I wasn't trying to say it is just as bad. But I just feel like there was no need to bring it up at all. I realize by making this thread I am exposing even more people to my old one. But I just need to apologize to the people who already did read it. And at least those who read it now are seeing it with my current thoughts as well. So yeah.... Sorry. Sorry for being a whiny brat. And sorry for over exaggerating my problems way out of proportion. I wasn't thinking. Like I said I was extremely depressed. And feeling very pessimistic. And that causes me to get like that sometimes... But I'll try to be more careful in the future.
Well, you said rape is deplorable and I don't sense any ill-intentions. It seemed you're quite concerned about her, even years later. We can only hope that her situation improved. I really can't blame her for being paranoid. Difficult to imagine how it feels to live in fear. Unfortunately, some things are out of our control. That reminds me... some dangerous people pretend to be victims, in order to get close to others and hurt them. Sometimes, no matter how carefully we word something, somebody takes offense. That doesn't mean we should say/type whatever we want. But I stopped caring so much. I think it matters more that one is prepared to apologise. Which is what you've displayed here! A whiny brat is somebody making an angry blog post because their parents didn't buy them the latest iphone and then making another post complaining that not enough people read their last post!
Heh, thanks for that. Yeah, I have a hard time stopping myself from worrying about stuff like this. I just had to say this or it would have drove me crazy from worry. That is just a problem I have, I worry way too much... I was even worried about what people would think about me bringing up something like this a month later... But seriously, thank you for replying. That really did help me relax.
It is natural to do mistakes. I guess each of us had wrong steps when we first came here as we were not very proud of. I remember saying people they are here to pamper each other and ignoring reality which probably wasn't my brightest moment. Life happens like that. You do that kind of mistakes and prove/show real you after those awkward moments. It is more likely to happen places like here where face to face interaction non-existant and people come from very different cultures and backgrounds. I read your original post and honestly never remember seeing it before. While I understand your friend's point, I believe everything in life has two sides. She is not only rape victim or will be the last one. I also had similar experience, lived thru very humiliating relationship, got cheated during it twice etc. If you let those things drown you, like what your friend did, you can't go on with your life. Yes you might be lost a chance at making a friend but knowing you from here, she also missed a great friend, a kind and caring companion. Whiny brat part is total non-sense. All I did see in that post was someone desperate and lonely... I saw more terrible posts in here believe me. There is nothing to forgive. You are one of the persons in this forums which I pleased to know after their initial awkward moments. You can't rant and whine any time you want. I will be around to lend my useless piece of mind. (*hug*)
Thank you! But... I should clarify... She wasn't raped, as far as I know... That is the thing. There was no reason to bring rape into the topic. I only said that as a reason why women have trouble trusting men, because my story had to do with trust. Even then, the thing about women not trusting men was blown way out of proportion, it is not as bad as I made it seem... but like I said, that came from a time I was feeling very pessimistic and depressed. This girl was betrayed, and hurt by many people. In ways I don't know the exact details of. That is why she didn't trust me. But she never said anything about rape. That is why there was no reason at all for me to say it. I was just kinda saying how it hurts to not be trusted, and because rape is so common, it would make it really hard to befriend any women as long as I'm seen as a man. Which is kinda dumb to say. ---------- Post added 17th Dec 2014 at 02:28 PM ---------- Just to clarify one more thing, I never assumed she was either. Some bad wording may make I seem like I did. But I didn't.
Ha ha I should also clarify something. It was late last night and I was about to go to bed but couldn't help to see you beat yourself over. My last line should be like this "You can rant and whine any time you want." Sorry for brain fart.
Well, yeah there was. It's not a topic that is forbidden from discussion; quite to the contrary. It's an act that, as you observed, has wide-ranging effects on decent people. It leads some women to see all (or a disproportionate segment of) strange men as potential predators. That attitude, while probably somewhat effective, is also harmful because it prevents women from giving men a fair chance and thus limiting positive interaction for both groups. Do I know how to solve it? No, but the more people who can see the subject like this, the better the chances are of someone reading this who does have good ideas. EDIT: Seeing your perspective on male suspicion as a trans girl rather than simply a social commentator still doesn't mean you're whining. Now it means it's an important issue, AND and especially important issue to you personally.
There's no need to apologize. I was not offended at all by what you posted, QR I feel like, if you didn't mention a sensitive (yet not forbidden) topic here on EC, then who would have? To end it, we need to talk about it as a community and share our stories and gain perspective.
