I got into an argument that was nothing more than opinionated with some dude who strongly believed woman can't be gay but they can be lesbians. I've heard that before and honestly it just makes me laugh. His argument was that women can be attracted to other women but can't be gay because they're not men. I asked him if he said that in a religious view and he said no that gay is primarily a label for 'male homos' and women don't count because they're just women. I could not believe the sexism of this guy... this is my opinionated definition of homosexuality: a person who is attracted to others of his/HER sex considering homo means human, not male human. Do you guys agree? Can any of you explain any valid point in his argument? I honestly don't. I understand men and women are different but even so we're both humans with hearts. Period.
Gay can be used for both genders; some don't like the term 'lesbian' since it can come off as more of a porno term than a sexuality. And even though I'm fine with 'lesbian', it still makes no sense. Men and women can be straight. Men and women can be bisexual. But only men can be gay?? What?
I can understand if he was just mistaken by the terminology. I mean, if he thought gay was for men and lesbian was for women, sure. But what did he mean by the "Women don't count because they are just women" comment...? What?
First of all... Your friend sounds quite asinine. Let me make that perfectly clear, here. As for your questions, here it is: Some men have a problem with accepting the idea, that somebody, especially somebody they could potentially be attracted to, as being inaccessible to them. It either challenges their self-believed authority or hurts their egos, and so they project this 'wishful' thinking onto things, particularly women. They may know, deep down, that a woman can be homosexual, but they won't openly accept it -- because it, in their own mind, belittles their masculinity and makes them feel, well, kind of powerless. Not too many men enjoy feeling incapable of doing something, because it leaves them feeling weak or vulnerable -- things that, sadly, most machismo fanatics detest with their entire being, and so avoid. Bisexual women, to these types of men, are "still accessible", so it isn't that big of a problem. But a lesbian, dear Lord, that isn't acceptable... at least not seriously. Basically, it's easier to think a woman is only faking her sexuality, rather than accepting she just isn't into you like that. It's a coping mechanism, a rather pathetic one at that, to be frank. I suspect your friend is, not only ignorant of the complexities of life, but possibly projecting his own 'wishful' ignorance onto any and all women.
OHHHHH that guy is NOT my friend Kaiser and I agree with all of you. I never really got into the 'politics' of LGBT honestly I thought the term lesbian was only a label used to distinguish male gays from the female gays since 'fag' is a derogatory term. I don't mean to offend anyone with that theory, I just thought that was the case so I apologize in advance. This guy sounded nothing more than the typical alpha male with "the men go to work and wives stay home cook, clean, and sew... men do whatever they want and the wives live with it" mentality.. I was instantly irritable.. -sigh
...The ignorance of some people. The term 'lesbian' is more to clarify that you are, in fact (gasp), a girl. I identify as gay, not lesbian, because if I'm going to label myself, you better damn well believe that I'm going to choose a label that I want to use.
I was actually told the same thing by an ex friend of mine who is a straight male . He told me that he thinks only men can be gay and all women are bisexual and something is just wrong with lesbians . the word gay can be used by both men and women maybe that's why he thinks it's only men but then again with straight men they think all women are bisexual and can't be gay and men can be either gay or straight but can never be bisexual . ---------- Post added 18th Dec 2014 at 07:11 PM ---------- :eusa_clap Thanks It's about time some buddy said it .