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do you think its rude?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wolfy1, Dec 21, 2014.

  1. wolfy1

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    one question i hate being asked is "Are you gay?", maybe its just since im in the closet but i think its kind of rude to ask some one that... at least if your just "fishing" with no real reason to need to know. if there's a legitimate reason for them asking, i dont think i have an issue with it.

    its just that being in the closet and not really ready to come out, the automatic answer i will be giving is "no". when you tell some one "no", it feels like you take a step back. it creates unneeded issues with acceptance in yourself.

    so whats your opinion?
     
  2. CandyKing

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    Not if you think they is a cute guy that you is into and trying to get in his pants.
     
  3. wolfy1

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    blahhhahahah!!!:lol: yes, that would not be a rude thing at all then haha. what about some one who your not into, and they are just fishing to know for no real reason?
     
  4. 741852963

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    It depends is the answer.

    Very rude - Asking purely out of personal curiosity when there is no intention of wanting to date a person or help them out.
    Not rude - Asking because you are interested in dating said person, or as a last resort to help the person out (i.e. a family member or close asking out of concern)

    Context is very important too:

    Very rude - asking in a very public place, within a group of people, particularly in a business/work environment and/or demanding or pressuring for an answer
    Not rude - asking on a one-to-one basis in a non-threatening manner and allowing the person to decline giving an answer (allowing an "escape route")
     
  5. wolfy1

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    i completely agree, it all depends on context and reason. maybe the issue with me is that ive never been asked in a private area by some one who cares. ive been asked several times before and every time i feel distressed when asked, and its always been in front of several people and the one time when it was a face to face alone, i know it was just out of personal curiosity... not to mention i was still hiding from it lol.
     
  6. HM03

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    I agree, fishing is fishing and none of their damn business.
     
  7. CandyKing

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    As long as they buy me free food they are not being rude no free food equal rude.
     
  8. CyanChachki

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    If it's for negative purposes, then yes. Like, if a person is going to ask just to tell you that they don't agree with it, that's rude. Though, I think some people want to know because they're just curious.
     
  9. Sepina

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    It depends whether you take as an insult or not, I mean I can totally understand why you would find it offensive, being in the closet and all. But otherwise they're just curious. Let them down easy.
     
  10. Chip

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    Honestly, I think the more comfortable you are with yourself, the less uncomfortable you'll be if someone asks.

    I don't think most people intend to be rude in asking the question. OK, so maybe they're a little clueless and perhaps they are lacking in boundaries and decorum... but I also think some people just treat it as completely casual, like "Are you left-handed"?

    It's mostly because we attach stigma to it that we are uncomfortable answering.
     
  11. Kasey

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    There's the "well why do you have to ask, no one asks if someone is straight" version.

    Or the "I'm genuinely interested".

    Or they "Hey you're cute".

    All dependent on context and tone.
     
  12. OGS

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    I have to say I don't think I've ever been asked this (kind of odd when you think about it)--but I don't think it would bother me to be honest.