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I'm a close friend to a close friend's ex... What do you think of this

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Straight ally, Dec 22, 2014.

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  1. Straight ally

    Straight ally
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    So while my close friend was dating a girl, lets call her K. Me and her became friends really quickly throught chatting, even thought we had only met in person once, somehow we clicked quickly, and i loved that such an awesome person was the girlfriend of my best friend.

    But then my best friend broke with her, he tried to do it in peaceful terms but it all ended with her responding him angrily, and he took what she said personally and became angry at her himself (he is a complicated person, but that is another story)

    In 2 occassions he told me 'block her and delete her from facebook and messenger' but i already considered her a good friend, and i would never abandon a friend just because a friend told me to, even if he is my best friend, specially not when i dont think she did anything wrong, she just reacted angrily with is a pretty normal reaction when someone breakup with you. He dropped the topic, and we are still friend but im also a close friend to his ex. I love both of them, and it would be awesome if they went back together (yet i'm sure that wont happen)

    On the other hand i have seen how people take sides, giving priority to the original and older friend,but i find it ridiculous to blindly take a side when you are not angry at either side.

    What do you think of this, if you where my bestfriend in this scenario, would you think i betrayed you or something, what would you think and do? Be sincere, im curious about what othereople think about this situation.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Dec 2014 at 08:11 PM ----------

    Note: ideally i would have told the entire story and the related sub stories but the thread would get too long and i find people are less likely to read longer threads, so if you want to know somehting about the situation, ask and i will telll you.
     
    #1 Straight ally, Dec 22, 2014
  2. CyanChachki

    CyanChachki
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    It's fine, really. Many people befriend exes before they become exes and it's perfectly fine to stay friends with them. Neither of them should be telling you to block the other because that's none of their business. Their problems are between them only and it's not like you're taking sides. Your friends need to deal with the fact that you are friends with both of them and that's that.
     
    #2 CyanChachki, Dec 22, 2014
  3. Straight ally

    Straight ally
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    That is what i think, he and me, are different person, so we have al yhe right to behave, react and judge differently.
     
    #3 Straight ally, Dec 23, 2014
  4. CyanChachki

    CyanChachki
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    It's understandable why he'd feel this way. I mean, she's his ex. Anyone would want a bad relationship to be completely gone from their life but at the same time, she's not exactly in his life. I would say, if anything.. just keep them at a distance. Hang out with them at different times and try not to cross that line. I think that would be the most respect you could show the both of them while maintaining both friendships at the same time.
     
    #4 CyanChachki, Dec 23, 2014
  5. badluckfairy

    badluckfairy
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    I find it ridiculous how people will stick with the friend they've known the longest when a friends breakup happens.

    I've lost people who I thought were good friends until me and an ex broke (who were originally exes friends) which I find quite sad that people will only be my friend on the condition that I'm dating their friend.

    However, there are a few friends who I met through an ex who I still talk to now. One of my best female friends I originally met through a male ex, me and her get on brilliantly. Neither of us talk to that ex anymore because I cut contact with him and her friendship with him gradually fizzled out.

    There is also a guy 'T' who I met through my friend 'D'. They eventually split up. But I am now closer to 'T' than I am with 'D', and meet up more often with 'T' and his new boyfriend 'S' than I do with 'D', I'm still in contact with them both.

    I feel than if you and a friends partner get on well, then a breakup shouldn't stop you remaining friends. A breakup is between them two, and asking to block their ex is very immature on their part.
     
    #5 badluckfairy, Dec 23, 2014
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