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Hmm.. Please tell me what you think about my story (if you have the time, that is)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by HighintheClouds, Oct 19, 2008.

  1. HighintheClouds

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    Well, this was from a workshop I went to a last year. I had completely forgotten about it and only remembered it when rummaging through some of my other forum threads ('other' referring to the forums, not the threads). I just want to see what you guys think of it. Me and 3 guys (one of them my brother) wrote it. Hope it ain't too horrible!

    Snow White and the Seven Vertically Challenged Proletariat Comrades


    Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in a land far far away, where dinosaurs and dragons used to roam, where fairies and wizards practiced magic freely, where there was no oppression of other lesser species (Common Garden Gnomes etc. etc.), Teletubbies came to play.
    These Teletubbies ruled the land. Or at least, they were supposed to. But since they were busy playing all day, the capitalist system which their predecessors had set up broke down, causing corruption in all sectors of society.
    Now, the masses became restless. There was inflation everywhere. A loaf of bread now cost a million pieces of gold.
    Out of this mess, rose a leader. She came from a poor family, but she was as pretty as the day was long (depending on season). Her skin was porcelain white due to all the lead she had applied ever since childhood. Her name was Snow White. Well, her real name was actually Susan Smith. But nobody would listen to a lady with such a common name. So she changed it.
    At first she gathered some peasants to rebel against the local landlord. The rebellion was successful in the initial stages, but then the Teletubbies sent some troops down to crush it and protect their rights to play all day.
    Fortunately, Snow White survived and fled the border. In exile, she met Lenin. He taught her the true communist principles, totally changing her way of thinking. She left him enlightened.
    Still in exile, she met seven vertically challenged people of the working class. She introduced the Leninist way of thinking to them and won them over.
    From then on, they spread the ideals of communism to the world. Snow White and the Seven Vertically Challenged Proletariats were a huge success, giving seminars to millions, not accepting a single cent, and yet still living in a small cottage in the forest.
    However, Snow White's homeland was still under the harsh rule of the Teletubby Tyrants. They had caught wind of her activities, deemed them illegal, and set forth to assassinate her.
    The Intelligence Agency of the newly-named Teletubbyland then disguised Lala as Mao Zedong.
    Lala went to Snow White's cottage and was welcomed in with great respect. Snow White personally prepared a meal for him.
    Lala then produced a bowl of what he stated as his country's delicacy; Wanton Mee. What he didn't tell her was that it was Maoist wanton mee. Thus, the workers had no incentive under communist rule to produce good quality wanton. As a result, it contained lead paint and had a 5% chance of exploding in your face.
    Snow White ate it and fell into a coma immediately.
    The Seven Vertically Challenged Proletariats were in despair and searched high and low for the antidote. To their dismay, they found it in only one place; the capitalist United States of America.
    The USA heard of their plight and decided to sell the antidote to them at an exorbitant price which the Seven Vertically Challenged Proletariats, being communists, could not afford.
    In the end, a bargain was struck. The Seven Vertically Challenged Proletariats would be slaves of the White House for seven years and clear all of their paperwork.
    However, the USA had actually led the Seven Vertically Challenged Proletariats into a clever trap. Through doing the paperwork, a brainwashing process had been taking place. At the end of the seven years, the Seven Vertically Challenged Proletariats became the Seven Vertically Challenged Bureaucrats.
    In the meantime, the real Mao Zedong had heard of Snow White's coma. He got an antidote produced within two months (making sure that there was no lead paint inside it) and had it injected into Snow White's bloodstream. Miraculously, she woke up.
    But there was an unexpected drawback. Since the antidote was Made in China, there were unwanted side effects. Snow White, after waking up, had been transformed by the antidote into a capitalist.
    She ran away to the USA, joined the Seven Vertically Challenged Bureaucrats after their seven-year confinement, moved into a mansion and lived happily ever after destroying all of the communist states that they had set up in the first place.
     
  2. tashyyy

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    Re: Hmm.. Please tell me what you think about my story (if you have the time, that is

    LOL
    thats really good!
    :thumbsup:
     
  3. mattypants

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    Re: Hmm.. Please tell me what you think about my story (if you have the time, that is

    wow, that was funny xD
     
  4. Master Hade

    Master Hade Guest

    Re: Hmm.. Please tell me what you think about my story (if you have the time, that is

    yay a happy ending!