Stop saying this is a phase

I am young as well, and when people say "it is probably just a phase", it annoys the absolute hell out of me! I know I like girls, and you have no fucking say in it.

I totally agree with the frustration aspect

 

I know almost exactly how you feel. One of the main reasons I'm too scared to come out is that I know for a fact that my parents simply won't believe me and say I'm just going through a phase to get attention. They've hinted at these thoughts when LGBT topics come up in conversation.
I'm not really in a place to give you advice, but if I were in your position I'd just stick to my guns and be patient. Be your true self. Sooner or later, everyone should realize how wrong they were and that you're serious.
Good luck in proving the ignorant people wrong!

 

Trust me, I get it. When I came out, my mom told me I was confused. Pretty sure she's the confused one.

 

You're welcome.
I imagine myself simply going "whatever" to anybody who says it's a phase. I also have never actually had somebody tell me it's a phase (see my "out status").
The people who say "It's probably just a phase" usually fall into at least one of the two categories:
1) They realize it probably isn't really a phase, but they don't want you to be gay, so they tell themselves and you that it's a phase to install hope into themselves that you might turn out to be straight after all.
2) They believe that homosexuality is "popular", and that although very few people are gay, lots of people call themselves gay and sometimes literally believe it due to want for attention, confusion, or misinformation about what being gay really is.
At least, that's what I think is going on in the minds of people who tell you it's a phase.

 

I had the same problem when I was your age. It really sucks. Now I've been questioning my sexuality for four years just because of some ignorant people.

 

I went through a phase of thinking I was straight once, so I guess that means all straight teens are going through phases and need the right experience from the same sex to know who they are.

 

Why would someone endure the social stigma and all of the complications of coming out of they weren't?

You'd have to be mentally ill to do that.

 

Or craving attention.

Because, you know, homosexuality is so trendy right now.

 

I was told the same thing at your age, I still am. Instead of getting frustrated when people tell you that, just nod and agree. In the end, you know you more than anyone else.

 

Tell me about it. I knew I was bisexual since I was 9 years old (though, I didn't know what it was called until 9th grade) and came out at 14. My teachers and some others that I knew would always try to convince me that it was just a phase and that I was trying to figure out who I really was. I didn't know how to deal with it at the time but whenever someone says it to you, just say, " No. A cool trend is a phase, sexuality is not."

 

If this helps, when you hear that horrible comment, remind yourself self-hate and denial is a phase too, and it's slowly coming to an end.

 

I've been told it's a phase and I've been told it's a fad like a fashion trend

 

"Confusion"... I can recall someone saying that as well, back when I was young. Even if the folks who say that intend well, in their own misguided way, I think it invalidates the experience a young person is actually having, it makes them doubt the validity of their own feelings. No need to call it 'confusion', why not call it 'exploration' instead, for example? Why the negative innuendo, as in, "oh you are probably just confused, don't worry" - the implication being, that there's actually something to 'worry' about, when really...there isn't.

 

"It's a phase"

The moon has phases but in the end it's still the moon so what's your point?

That's what I always think when I hear that phrase

 

mum thought it was just a phase when I came out to her took my nana to explain to her that it wasnt a phase at all .

 

It's really not helpful to young people, when they hear adults tell them "it's just a phase". Overwhelmingly, it's not a phase. Not only that, it says something like.. "I don't really care (not paying attention to) how you feel right now.. I know better". The refusal to accept what they have heard really says more about them and how they feel, but it doesn't actually help the young person who has just come out at all.

Reinforcing the idea that it's a phase actually has a stifling effect and can push young people further into the closet. If I'd not taken on board the idea that my sexuality was a phase I might have been spared extra years of misery in the closet.

 

My mother says everyone goes through a gay phase as a teenager because of hormones, another reason I'm not out to her.

 

Well it certainly isn't phase for me, although you never know in which direction things change and shift, preferences rise and fall, but I am convinced I will always remain more or less bisexual.

At this moment, I'm perfectly 50/50. Who knows when or how that will change, if it does?

 

Don't worry...I understand the frustration you're expressing completely, and no, they have no right to say that, and them saying it has absolutely no productive result...

...but this period of your life where people tell you "it's just a phase"? It's just a phase. Eventually, they'll start getting the point, it'll have gone on long enough to convince them (not that they are owed any convincing), and they'll stop telling you that.

As you say, you know who you are, and that's what's important...hang on to that (because all too many people waver at your age, due to this stupid pressure, and end up having to deal with it 10 or 20 or 40+ years later). Know who you are, and be who you are to the best your ability, and know that this phase of people question and doubting you will end.

Best wishes on your journey and good luck keeping yourself together until then!