How Would You Discipline Your Kids?

I would take advice from professional people who has years experience with helping parents raising their kids to have healthy relationship with.

(if i'll ever have kids)

 

There is something endearing to be a mom because I felt my mom was closer to me when I was an adolescent. Along with someone really submissive *much sadism* I can attempt to give my future child, if I can adopt or artificial fertilization is develop, the fullest of my attention. I do not care if I have to be a house wife for 21 years in order for my child to mature. I mean I would still provide some punishment but the punishment will only be revoked privileges. This might also be farfetched but I really hope to rise a kind athletic, intelligent child. ~ dreaming of a perfect clone xD

 

well, i've raised my kid and he's 16 now. discipline was as needed. when a light smack on the hand or bum was needed he got it. if stern words were needed and if a yell was needed he got it. this was always followed up with explaination of why he was disciplined and how he could avoid it or how to change behaviours for betterment of himself.

 

I was going to say something along these lines for my parenting plans. I have seen kids disregard parents who were too easy with them, and kids who have been physically beaten so much that it had a negative effect on them. "Just enough to get the job done" seems to be the appropriate action.

 

I don't know. I'm hopeless at dealing with unruly children. I feel like I would end up screaming at them, and I'd probably be tempted to hit them, but I couldn't bring myself to do that, and I am firmly against hitting children.

If I ever have kids of my own, I'll let you know how it pans out. It's hard to say when you're not a parent - your perspective totally changes.

 

It depends on what they did really. If he split something ill give a little be more careful next time. Now if he stole something one you must return it and say your sorry then you're grounded

 

When I had my step son, anything minor he did he either stood in time out, walked laps, or wrote sentences. If was something major (which was rare since I can't think of any major incidents other than yelling at me or my ex or screaming in public) I'd have him running laps, doing chores. I guess the major and minor things coincide, it took a while for him to adjust to these disciplinary steps but he obeyed them and they worked well.

 

I want to think with example I will inspire them to be the best they can possibly be. I want to think I will be able to correct them in a manner that they understand why they are being punished and how they can learn from it. I want to think I will be just, giving a fair balance of positive and negative reinforcements when appropriate. I want to think I will be able to remain stern when they'll need to be taught a lesson without souring our relationship.

But, deep down, I know...





...I know I will spoil them rotten. Hopefully I'll pick a more responsible partner

 

I admit to having yelled at the kids from time to time, this happens out of sheer frustration and I realize that the moment I yell is the moment I lost.

Nevertheless, we have in a sense succeeded in keeping them from committing the worst offences by discussing our disapproval of behaviours before they start. There is a component of Jewish education that does just that: examining the moral quagmires that can happen in life and giving them a different perspective.

For each age there are battles you choose, and battles you avoid, the younger they are, the more indulgent you have to be. But this must change as they get older, and as their responsibilities grow.

We have been complimented more than once on how well-behaved our kids are when going to a restaurant for example, today, despite the divorce, they are pretty well-adjusted adolescents. Sure, they will sow their wild oats, they have to as part of growing up, but overall I am extremely proud of them.

...now if they would just call from time to time...

 

Knowing my personality Id be that Dad that smacks his kid upside the head and says "Hey! We dont hit!" or "that electrical socket is gonna hurt you." BUZZZZZ "Told ya!"

 

I would allow them some freedom and let them experience things themselves.

For a simple example, our neighbors had a little boy and girl around my age. I grew up with them, but they moved away in 4th grade. The little boy was denied sugar all the time, so when he was at our house he ate every little candy he could get his hands on.
I was never really denied sugar. I was warned that it was unhealthy and warned that it's not a good idea to eat too much of it, and I never became a sugar maniac like my neighbor.

It's things like that that make children want to do the opposite of what you tell them. That's just the way they are. Of course, sugar was one of the things my mom gave me freedom in, but many other things I was in the other boy's situation. I was denied video games until middle school (while my friends were practically raised with them from first grade), and now I am much more addicted to them than my friends are. I was also denied to look anything but a girly girl, so I think that contributes to my trans feelings a bit.

Of course, this kind of discipline doesn't work for everyone. But I think it would if the child is nurtured well.

 

I highly doubt I will ever have kids. But if I do, there is at least one thing I will promise:

I will never say "Because I told you so." Any rule I make, there will be a reason, and kids deserve to know that reason. If they don't have a reason, why should they do it?

My parrents said that all the time. I do something, they don't like it, they punish me, "Because I said so". It sounded like they were just making up rules just to feel powerful. If they have a reason, why couldn't they tell me? It just made me mad that I was expected to just simply accept it. And I didn't. I just continued to do those things anyway when I got a chance. But with a reason, I could have respected it.

So that is why, if I have kids, I will tell them why each rule is in place.

 

In the unlikely event I have kids, I would probably be somewhere in the middle. I'm not a drill sergeant, and nor am I a pushover like my mom. She lets my brother call her a bitch, c***, whore, fatass, and every sentence he says to her either begins with "Fuck you" or "Give me." Personally I think he needs to get a knuckle sandwich every time he says that to her and he'll learn eventually.

I've always believed in letting kids be kids, though there's a fine line of what's appropriate childhood behavior and what's not. Thankfully I'll never have kids, so I won't ever have to worry about calling my kid's teachers and leaving harassing phone messages, verbally abusing the principal, Crayola crayon drawings all over the walls, sibling wars, parenting style differences, puberty and the delightful things that brings, and all the other horrors of child rearing!

 

I'd definitely have a democratic parenting style, and I will also never lay a finger on my kids. I would be firm, but will also be sure to show my kids how their actions will have consequences and how they affect other people.

 

As far as discipline I would simply set them down and talk to them about the issue and depending on how old they are and whatnot possibly ground them or something like that. I wouldn't want to spank my children or anything like that. As far as them having a different opinion than me I would hear them out everyone has a right to have their own opinion

 

I'd probably be incredibly lenient; I'd certainly never strike them. I'd want to try to show them the benefits of kindness towards others, people, animals, the earth; involve them early on with nature, hiking, and seeing amazing things outdoors, let them have dogs, cats and other pets, encourage them to be active, but also to instill a love of reading and art, while making this fun.

I suppose as far as discipline goes, I'd probably have penalties like: No video-games for a day/week, groundings and other such non-violent measures...

~

Oh, and I'd encourage them to get piercings and mohawks.

 

I wouldn't react negatively to their misbehavings but more so, I would respond with something like, "We don't talk to one another like that" if say, they said something rude but immediately changed their attitude because they wanted something from me. If anything, spankings would be for something dead serious but rarely done.

 

Disappointment is one of the most horrible things to receive from a parent. Anger makes them seem more human and less reasonable. Cold disappointment can really hurt, especially when there's no question as to whose fault it is.

I would hope I'd be able to make them not only fear disappointing me for its own sake, but that they would feel shame at their failings. To have a self-enforced feeling of what's expected of them is more important than merely facing my or my potential partner's disappointment.

To treat them positively at most times would be a must; there's no point in making children feel upset for no reason. But there's every reason for them to feel that their best is what's not only asked for, but required. To have a permanent negative undertone in a parent-child relationship will merely make the latter unruly as well as lacking in self-esteem.

Losing money (I would never give pocket money, so that doesn't matter) or TV rights or whatever doesn't make much sense to me as a punishment; if those things aren't directly involved in the mistake, they won't learn about the mistake itself. If they were to overspend what money they have, having to compensate for that would be a good measure; financial responsibility would be learnt if they had to bear wasting money on their own shoulders. If they were to waste study time watching TV and get grades below their ability, then cutting TV time would be an appropriate response (though I would hope that positive reinforcement would help them realise which is more important before it came to its needing punishment). Having not just proportionate but relevant punishment is a good tool in discipline.

This relevance must come with their knowing why what they did was wrong. Demanding explanation for clear-cut wrongdoing and gently, but firmly, explaining wrongs that they don't understand but must not be committed are really important. To know what is wrong is good, but to know why they're wrong actually makes a person capable of growing themselves and justifying their actions.

I would hate to be a parent who relied on the status of being a father to settle arguments. I would want to be a father who can say why they're wrong and what they can do about it with the full understanding that tough love is still love and just as necessary as hugs and encouragement.

 

What? No allowance!!!!

*throws a tantrum*