1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Fem guys who can fight?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BloodFlame, Jan 1, 2015.

  1. BloodFlame

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2014
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I know that fem guy + fighter is kind of an oxymoron but as I've taken kickboxing and learned a few things on how to defend myself, I've been wondering about this.

    Would you be more open to dating a fem guy who knew how to fight/protect himself? Where you wouldn't have to worry about defending him because he knew how fight back physically and could be brutal if it came to it (not like killing someone but breaking an arm or leg to incapacitate their attacker)?

    I'm not saying a guy who goes out and picks fights with every guy he sees but just someone who could defend himself if a guy tried to physically mess with them.

    I only ask because it's expected for fem guys to be weak and non-confrontation in a fight.

    So yeah, what do you think? Do you think if fem guys were more able to physically defend themselves, you'd be more open to dating one assuming you got along?
     
  2. newfish

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2013
    Messages:
    451
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, as a fem, non-fighting guy (with the exception of several years of karate lessons in elementary and middle school), I can't exactly answer the question, but I don't really see why it would factor into it. How often would this be a problem - as in living in a less gay-friendly environment, or am I misunderstanding it?
     
  3. Burnedcloset

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2014
    Messages:
    1,072
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    santas workshop
    I don't think if someone is ready for a fight makes a difference. I guess it's a plus if they can wop some ass if they had to though.

    XD
     
  4. LostLion

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2014
    Messages:
    407
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    United States of 'Murica.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think it's awesome that you are learning how to kickbox and how to defend yourself. I think it shows a lot of confidence and independence. When it comes to girls, I like feminine ones generally, and when it comes to guys I generally like masculine guys, but I think the most attractive quality in a person is independence.
     
  5. ThatOnePerson

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2014
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I think I'd date anyone who'd be able to protect themselves. That way, they can protect me, too! XD Even though I rarely, if at all, get into fights.

    Actually, I find that really attractive in a person.
     
  6. Rawrzilla

    Rawrzilla Guest

    I find this incredibly hot on anyone. Be them fem, masculine, guys, gals, anyone. The ability to physically stand up for yourself if you must (even if you never see yourself cornered into doing so, but just the threat of it) it's a total turn-on for me.

    I don't know if it would be enough for me to start dating that person right there and then, but the fact remains that it is pretty hawt. It would certainly pick my interest in you if it came up.
     
  7. edy

    edy
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2014
    Messages:
    813
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Out Status:
    A few people
    If that was the case, I wouldnt need a man AT ALL and probably would stop being gay lmao
     
  8. BloodFlame

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2014
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    both I guess. The common complaint I hear about guys who refuse to date fem guys is that they feel they always have to look after him. So if a fem guy actually knew how to fight if the situation called for it, would that make it more better?

    I only say this because you usually hear that effeminate gay men are considered weak and fragile.

    It's pretty fun learning it and being able to know you have a better chance of defending yourself. Very empowering lol.

    Haha I see.

    Fair enough lol.

    Why is that?
     
  9. edy

    edy
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2014
    Messages:
    813
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Let's face it, guys are only useful for protection and doing things in home nobody else wants to
     
  10. treatmeright

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2014
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dubai
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I think its important to be able to defend yourself if you are living in a hostile environment if you are a man or woman it makes no difference you need to survive. But as a somewhat a butch woman I find strong fems a turn on :icon_wink
     
  11. Harjus

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2014
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    61
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This is propably some kind of insecurity but for me it's a turn off if someone is stronger than me or if I couldn't win a fight with them (I had a very bad childhood). I feel threatened. It's not good if they can't defend themselves at all though. And it would be awful if they got hurt because they didn't want to get too strong because of me and my insecurity.

    Anyway. It's great if you want to learn to defend yourself. Go for it. It can save your life some day.
     
  12. ShadowSpirit26

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    IL, United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    The idea that so called "fem-guys" are weak and non-confrontational is pretty stereotypical. :confused:
     
  13. MintberryCrunch

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sherman Oaks, CA (orig. Denver)
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    ^True, although some fem-guys like me are weak and non-confrontational :wink:

    I do find the idea of a guy who can stand up for themselves pretty attractive, and that's partly because they'd be able to protect me, fem or not :slight_smile:
     
  14. Harve

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,953
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    You started an identical thread 10 days ago.

    Why are you constantly seeking to make yourself seem attractive? I don't think it's a good outlook on life to simply behave according to what you think others want.
     
  15. Aldrick

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2012
    Messages:
    2,175
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Virginia
    You are looking to do this for the wrong reason. You are looking to do this, not because it is something you WANT to do, but because it is something you think other guys might find attractive.

    Be yourself. Love yourself. Show confidence in who you are. That is attractive, and it is uncommon in the gay community. When you can learn to love yourself, then you will be ready for other people to love you.

    Do not waste your life by trying to conform to what others expect or want of you--gay or straight.
     
  16. FANTIE

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2014
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    .
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    This.
     
  17. BloodFlame

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2014
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    The fighting thing, It's nothing new for me. I've always been interested in martial arts since I was a kid. When I took up karate and later kickboxing, I had a lot of fun with it and felt good knowing I had more of a defense mechanism in case someone was going to try to physically assault me.

    Again, the fighting thing is not new for me. Always had interest in it. And when I look at myself right now, it's probably good that I learned how because of my appearance (Fem and goth). I learned more so I could know how to defend myself against a potential attack since there are some close-minded people out there who'd try to beat someone up for being different.


    But fine, I get you both.
     
  18. Joelouis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2013
    Messages:
    707
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Great Britain
    I'm not fem but still can't fight too well.
    I've only had one fight as such since secondary school.
    Saying that, if it came down to it and it looked like I was gonna get trouble then yes.......I'd run!
     
  19. BloodFlame

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2014
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Running isn't bad. You should get out of danger but I think it'd be harder if there was a group of people.
     
  20. Aldrick

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2012
    Messages:
    2,175
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Virginia
    As long as it is something you want to do, then I say go for it. If you are doing it for yourself, rather than other people, you are more likely to succeed and stick with it.

    There is nothing contradictory about being fem and knowing how to fight. Feminine does not equal helpless.