I've had a total of 6 relationships since 2012. All my exes hurt me in some way... But I want to find love again. I recently was talking to this guy who lives maybe 30 minutes away from my town. We talked for maybe two days, but after the third day, he never responded to my messages. And so I deleted his number from my phone. Then my best friend called me on December 14th and asked me out. We dated for 5 days; she broke up with me on the 19th and cited the fact that: "L (the guy she likes) comes off as straight. No offense, but you don't come off as straight." She's bi also. We were dating in secret. Her parents didn't know I'm bi--they think I'm gay. She's not out to her parents either. But yet she says that she wants someone who comes off as straight.... It makes me so mad. To think that she's like my sister. We've been through so much together... And now she treats me like I don't matter? Anyway... It's been a few weeks since we broke up. She was here in town and never said hi to me. No call, no text from her... Nothing. But I want love again. I feel like my problem though is that I don't know whether to breakup with someone based on when they show me their bad side. I stay with that person through whatever. My cousin told me himself, that I'm too naive. I see the good in people and it takes someone doing something to me to force me to break up with them. I also feel like I'm scared to open up. When I do open up, I find that a short while after I start dating that person, they immediately break up with me. I don't wanna open up because I'm scared to be hurt by that other person. My cousin was also telling me that I won't meet the man of my dreams online. That he believes in face to face interaction. "You might meet your best friend online, but you won't meet the man of your dreams online" he told me. My other problem is that I'm social, but when I'm around new people, I'm shy, quiet. I tend to just observe crowds because I never feel like socialising unless I'm comfortable with someone. I feel so alone, and it would be nice to have a ride or die type of guy by my side. I see my mom and her boyfriend constantly together, and it makes me jealous, hurt, angry... Because I see them being affectionate and I think "Damn... I want what they have" (Although he's cheating on his wife with my mom but that's for a later post) I just really want a boyfriend. I also want sex. I'm a virgin, and I've always fantasised about my first time. Thoughts? Advice?
Hey I think a partner will come in time, in the meantime focus on work friends, family and hobbies. The more you obsess about meeting someone the harder it is to meet someone, or that is the experience I've had at least.
