I'm currently a junior, and I'm narrowing down colleges that I would like to visit and apply to. My grades are very good, along with my current GPA and I've been involved in a lot of activities both in and outside of school. Some of my top choices are very hard to get into (specifically, Yale and Brown) and are far away from home, but I feel an extreme need to get out of the state for college. I don't feel like I can continue to grow always being watched and so close to my family. My mother is the most supportive of all, and I know she would do anything to help me be happy with where I end up and what I'm doing. But the rest don't want me to go to an "elite" school, or they're homophobic, or they're always critical of everything I do. College is honestly my chance to put distance between me and some of them. Is it selfish for me to aim to get into schools on the east coast that are so far away from Minnesota? I would have no family connection there (not even distant cousins or aunts/uncles) and it worries my mother a lot. Another option is California colleges, where I actually have a family connection. I'm very interested in Stanford, yet California is still a long ways away. It really is a problem that all of the colleges I am majorly interested in are on opposite ends of the country while Minnesota is in the middle. Overall, I'm asking - if you went to college, what where your experiences with picking the school you went to?
No, it's not selfish of you. You're an adult now and you get to choose what you want to do with your life now. No one can take that power away from you. Over all, just make sure that you study, eat properly and get enough sleep. Cramming for a test and losing sleep thinking, "Well, I can just catch up on sleep on my days off" won't work. Think about your body as a cellphone. You can charge it half way but it's not going to run all day. Another good thing is to try and buy groceries from the grocery store and save your money for other things. Eat out once in awhile, not every night. Chew gum during tests too. Chewing gum increases blood flow to the brain and it helps with memory.
It's definitely not selfish of you. Going away to college is a chance to get away and become independent. I'm in college, a senior, and I love my school. The first school I ever visited was Notre Dame and I fell in love with it immediately. It was my first choice but very competitive so I looked into other schools. I also wanted to go out-of-state and get as far away from my family as possible. Meanwhile, everyone tried to get me to look in-state. My cousin graduated the same year and his dad was taking him on a lot of visits. They wanted to go check out one in particular and asked me to go along. It was far away, but still in state. I did not want to go, but in the end I gave in. The moment I stepped foot on campus, I felt like I'd come home. I didn't even end up applying to half my list of schools, I was so in love. When Notre Dame rejected me, the decision was made. If you can visit schools, I highly recommend it. And if you get the chance to visit a place that you don't think you'll want to go to, go anyway. It's impossible to get a feel for a campus from a website. Since you're going so far away, if that's not an option, you might want to try talking to people that are current or past students.
I'll definitely have to change my studying habits once I get to college. I procrastinate a lot right now and am sort of a perfectionist. Because of it I end up not getting enough sleep. It's one of the things i promised I would change. And I love the gum chewing tip: I already do it and try to give the tip to everyone I know during tests. :lol: Thank you for the advice! ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2015 at 09:41 PM ---------- It's always good to hear that someone loves the school that they went to. Gives me a bit of hope :icon_bigg I really want to visit as many campuses as possible - I've already been to about 10 colleges in Minnesota, including two that I'll end up applying to so my family is reassured that I might stay around. They're good schools and all, I just don't feel like they're the best. I haven't had that "feels like home" experience when coming onto campus, like what you talked about. Many of the people I've discussed college with said they had the same feeling when they found the college they would go to. I have been to a lot of schools in Minnesota, Iowa, and Wisconsin, but none of them feel right. Even though I'm sort of hesitant really to choose a school far away without visiting I do have connections to some of the colleges I'm looking at. I've talked to a few school alumni, and actually one of the alumni that I've become good friends with goes to Yale. It's always good to talk to her about her school, and what she thought about when choosing Yale. Still unsure, though.
More important than location of the school is getting an idea of what you might be interested in studying, and what sort of campus culture you are after. For example, at one end of the spectrum, you have U Wisconsin-Madison, which is an excellent school with a student body of something enormous like 30,000. And on the other, you have schools like Hampshire College or Bard College which are excellent schools with a student body of maybe 250. Stanford is strong in many areas, but is particularly a strong incubator for tech types; a lot of people majoring in some sort of IT end up dropping out to co-found tech startups due to Silicon Valley. And then there are a lot of really nice smaller undergraduate colleges with student body sizes of 1800 to 3000... big enough to offer a lot of diversity and depth of faculty knowledge, small enough to maintain a feel of knowing many people on campus. One more factor: There are schools like Brown that are rigorous academically, but also rich in tradition and in some ways big on structure, and other schools like Oberlin and Carleton that are equally rigorous, but a bit more of a laid-back, hippie-like feel to them. Do you have a sense of what you want to major in, and what sort of campus environment is appealing?
Right now I love English and writing with all my heart, but I'm not sure if I would go to college and major in English. Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do with an English major. As of right now I am undecided with what I want to major in college with. That's why I'm currently looking at schools that provide all of the academics I might be interested in, especially because it's good to have a backup plan if I start going into one as a major and then switch to another. I am looking for colleges with good English programs, but then I'm also looking for colleges that contain my other interests, which are mathematics and physics. Right now I'm thinking either of the three could be majors, and then because they interest me I've been considering colleges that additionally have computer science and German language. I'm taking German now, and would love to continue with it. A great study abroad program, LGBTQ resources, and clubs/activities are some criteria that I've been narrowing down colleges with, too. I've looked at Carleton extensively (it could still be a possibility) and the school has LGBT resources and a very good English program, but I didn't think it had all of the mathematics possibilities that I wanted. Once I'm done with my high school courses I could test out of a lot of the mathematics courses offered at Carleton. I guess if I had to pick the thing I liked the most about the school it was the campus. When I visited it felt friendly, laid-back, and I could actually see myself going there. It seemed like a large campus, even though it has a rather small student population. I've been leaning towards smaller private schools, between 2,000 and at the very most 15,000 students. Another problem that I had with Carleton was that it was in Northfield, and even though St.Olaf is right there it seems like too small of a town. I've been looking for colleges in larger cities, with a lot of life and opportunities. I like having a set small/medium sized campus with not a huge amount of students, yet having the choice of going out into a large city anytime I like. I'm a bit worried about Yale and Brown when it comes to that because I have no idea what the cities that they are in are like. Also, I fear that - like you said - they would be too "traditional" for me. I do want a place where I can explore myself more and try to reach who I want to be because I've been stifled here. College is my getaway in a sense.
Wow, you are all over the place (don't worry it's natural at your place in life, ie before a major life decision.) First, start with answering what are you most passionate about in your life right now? See how the things you are interested in can support what you are passionate about, or vis versa. If you can do what you are passionate about and make a living you will be much happier in the long run. For instance, I remarked to a random person today, Software development is my profession, and I'm good at it (after 30 years.) But my passion has always been helping people. So, lately, I've been looking at opportunities to use my skills and talents to help people. And now that I'm separated and have to take care of my own bills, cash is limited, but time and talent are not. Once I get settled I have spare time I can devote to good causes. Sorry, blah blah blah about me.... Anyway, start something like the following for yourself. Don't just look at college per se, depending on answers to questions you haven't asked or answered. Check list: ___ far enough away from home that parents wont have to stay overnight, but far enough that it would cost you to come home. (gives you selective visitation rights with your parents.) ___ active LGBT community on and off college campus (get specific with what you are interested in so you can find the safest places.) ___ low rape, violent, and sexual assaults against women, or LGBT You add more from your list of needs and wants... and try to be critical of that distinction. I would personally tell anyone entering college to give it a second thought. Take a gap year if you have to find your passion, but I would find yourself, and find your passion before college. Not every career needs a college degree, everybody has different talents, and shouldn't be pushed. Also, depending on the skills and talents you have, you may have something marketable, or not. I would not go into debt for skills you can't make money off of. That said, I had a very good education from Susquehanna University in PA. A classically liberal arts college, with a decent computer science curriculum. It was 4th or so behind some of the bigger comp sci colleges in PA at the time. Small town, small college, 2,500. Mostly, second level preppy to PA working & middle class (farmers, businessmen) intake. At the time it seemed affordable. My debt didn't get above $12,000 I think. Paid off in 1996 or so. I was on work study, I tutored, took jobs in the computer lab. My parents paid for a good deal of it. They and I were lucky that my sister was, (and still is) fouled up in general so they didn't have 2 tuition's to support. For me, I had a small group of friends, we had stuff we had in common, we had fun. You know your wants, and desires. As I said I picked a lucky career at a good time. Keep in mind the cost for all this, I would doubly warn you about going into deep debt for a degree that wont be marketable (unless you are so darn talented the world flocks to your door.) I would read Dave Ramsey for budget advice. Lastly, I'm originally from Connecticut, and still have family there. My sister had worked for Yale for 5 years or so. She described New Haven as a pit hole and crime ridden. I wouldn't send my straight son there if he were 18, big, strong and well adjusted. Can't say anything about the school itself. Things were different back when I was growing up, and a lot of urban Connecticut has been corrupt and decaying for a long time. I'd stay away from it, pretty place, but the people can be assholes.
Go where you want to go, that you think will help you the most with your life. Despite your family's concerns, it's actually kinda selfish for them to insist on you staying close if you think you can do better somewhere far (no offense).
You're very typical of most people your age. Very, very few people who think they know what they want at 17 or 18 actually find themselves in the career they think they want 5 o 10 years later. So it's smart to choose a school with lots of strong academic departments to give you good options. Of the Ivys, Brown has a reputation as being one of the most liberal. Most of my uber liberal friends who got accepted to multiple Ivys ended up at Brown, so I don't think you could go wrong there. Berkeley is also a topnotch school, basically Ivy-grade, with lots of great programs, located in a great city, just across from San Francisco. And excellent LGBT programs. But you might be happier with a smaller liberal arts school and a more broad liberal arts focused degree. Most undergrad liberal arts degrees have only about 30 credit hours in the major, while the rest are spread across the three divisions (humanities, natural sciences, social sciences) which helps you get a taste of a lot of different things. Carleton would, I think, be an excellent choice from what you describe, though the lack of city life could be a problem if that's important to you. You might want to consider Occidental in Los Angeles. Small liberal arts school, very liberal and LGBT friendly, with a really excellent reputation, located in LA (big city, nice weather. I don't know the specifics of what their strongest academic departments are, but it is an academically rigorous institution that might be a good match of location, prestige, and diversity of academic options. The good news is... you have some time to think and do research. I do *very* strongly recommend visiting the school(s) you're considering. There's no substitute for being able to walk around the campus, talk to students, get a feel for the place, and decide if you'd fit in. I know it's spendy to do that, but if it's remotely feasible, it is probably one of the best investments you can make.
I saw this and meant to post. I am doing so now ... obviously. LOL. I see that you are asking questions I never asked and should have asked when going through this ritual. So you are ahead of most people in that regard. Most people just follow their friends, are looking to party, and/or go where is expected of them. I don't want to sound noncommittal, but my answer is "It depends." A major thing it depends on is whether you consider yourself independent or dependent. To some extent, it can also be influenced by gender. At the time, I was more dependent and I started college as a fairly immature and insecure 17 year old boy. That precluded moving away to another area. I really, really wanted to do so, exactly for the reasons you state, but was unable to do it. I did it later, for grad school, and that's when I grew up. Later. I think it depends a little bit on gender, too, because I saw the women in college forge friendships more easily and more guys going it alone, at least from my perceptions. It's your life and it's your college experience, so the variables you are weighing do not make you in the least bit selfish. They make you seem thoughtful. The other things you should weigh, as already mentioned, are public or private, areas of academic strength, school size, and city setting or college town setting. I am personally not fond of college towns as they tend to be defined by the university or college. Instead, a university or college is just a facet of a city if it is in an urban setting. The college town also pulls in a lot of people who want a more defined college experience, especially at big state schools, and urban schools, with both commuters and residents, tend to have more diversity. This would include a school located in a college suburb of a big city, such as College Park, MD, and I'm just using that as an example. All those schools you mentioned were and are too rich for my blood and I didn't look good enough on paper ... the numbers were good enough, but zero activities and zero involvement. As for specific schools, some of the suggestions already mentioned are worth noting, including your own. For me, the best choice would have been public, more majors than less, urban, somewhat diverse, reputable but still "a bird in the hand" instead of "two in the bush," and medium-sized, whatever that might be "today." Good luck!
No, you are not selfish. Sad for me, i'm already attending college in my messed up country. When i'm finished, i'm planning on going to some far off place (away from all family) to go live. Sorry though, I don't know much about schools in that area. Hope you get though though. Good Luck
Have you looked at colleges in WI? I forget some of their names, but my friend went to a small liberal arts college in central WI. I realize you do not want to be under the thumb of your parents, but it may benefit you not to keep them too far away. It sounds like the University of Wisconsin would be too big for you.
