I'm terrible at loosening/opening up to other people. Letting them see the true me. Even when dating (which I have VERY little experience in), I'm so awkward when it comes to kissing, making physical contact, etc. How do you become better at this? When do you know when it's an appropriate time to kiss, touch, cuddle, and eventually, take it... further? I'm going on a date with someone tomorrow. The first official date ended with an awkward kiss (I made it awkward). I was also invited into his room, and was on his bed (but I never made a move, but neither did he). If this happens again, I'm sure he's going to want me to make a move, and I kinda want to as well, but I'm always too afraid/feel so awkward.
Its only awkward because people societal norms." Thou shall not say the taboo" and "Sex is a taboo for adults". You should be truthful to your dates and partners, "Do you want to kiss... Are you willing to have sex?" If you can not even say that then maybe you are not ready for such intimate acts if love. So sorry for rupturing your pride, but it had to be done else someone might confuse you. With care, -E
What do you mean by "If you can not even say that then maybe you are not ready for such intimate acts of love"? I find it rather odd to literally say to my date "hey, do you want to kiss right now?", prior to actually kissing. Maybe I watch too much TV, but kisses are usually spur of the moment, no?
There are certain actions that is equivalent to saying "lets kiss" or "lets have sex". Have you look someone in the eye and slow your breathing? Have you stood real close to someone. Another point to supplement my thoughts since I believed that you DID want to have kiss/sex on your first few dates; premature intimacy is a wild card that highly leads to one night stand. For a long relationship, which I think is ideal, you should be able to ask your partner directly if he or she wants to be intimate with you. By the way I am on my phone so my ifs and ofs kinda interwove in my sentence, my apologies. Berated by guys, -E
Phrase it as "Would you mind if I kissed you right now?" Direct, but not too direct. Have used this and had it used on me, and worked either way. Also had a guy early on ask me if I kissed, but that was a hookup and struck me as a legitimate question. I think I'd only kissed a guy once before at that point, and figured I should try it more. So I said 'yes' and he kissed me. I became an instant fan I wouldn't spend much time worrying about how they do things on TV. In my experience, TV is often about as realistic as porn when it comes to how people actually do things. Todd
I think it's actually kinda sexy to ask. It shows you respect the pace at which the other person wants to go, and that you're into consent. Both good things in my book.
You must eventually advance in a game of chess to win. In a relationship you also know and gauge where and when you should advance. ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2015 at 09:13 PM ---------- Me too but for 30 sec then I got down to business. confuseduser99, Never loss your chances at being intimate, that person was begging you to be dominant and ask him for intimacy, but be careful for he may just be testing you. You must be aggressive to win blitz chess, you must be aggressive to enter a shot gun wedding. -E
