Gaydar

[Peter]

Does the "gaydar" really exist? Is it just wishful thinking when you see someone you wouldn't mind seeing closer up? I regularly pick out gay guys in the street or wherever, but have no idea if I am right or just wish they would come over and give me a hug. I don't know if statistically I am as good as random or whether I should trust my instincts more. Apparently a friend of mine picked me out two years before I came out - but he only told me when I told him, and hindsight is easy.

[Gerry]

I believe it really exists. I can ususally tell if a guy is gay, or at least bi. I'll admit that I've been wrong before but I can usually point one out.

[Janvier]

It does does exist, it's not always 100% accurate but when I spot a gay guy, I know he's gay, I've explained why in another thread. Some guys are near impossible to pick out, I usually give up on them. So yeah, for me anyway, gaydar is real, I also have a very good instinct

[heatqueen]

Yeah I once managed to pick out a lesbian..well I don't know for certain but I was pretty sure. Also my friends picked me out before I came out to them, and I was so sure it was a well-hidden secret. So yeah, I believe in gaydar.

[Mickey]

I think most gaydar is that we can pick out the people who are obviously gay. The effeminate male or the butchy female.To me,if a woman is very feminine or a man is very masc.,it's harder to tell. Don't yell at me! This is just how it works ...for me!

[ccdd]

I think that it definately does exist, although it is never 100% accurate, and its accuracy often depends upon how "out" the person is in terms of their behaviour, or how much they conform to stereotypes.

Over the last year my gaydar has been seriously set off by 4 women, and all 4 of them ended up being gay. Only one of these would you say, from sight, that they were gay. The other three were as "straight-appearing" as the next woman in the street. Seriously - you would not know by looking at them at all. But my gaydar was set off by subtle signals and not by my sight, but my interactions with them.

With these 4, they all set my gaydar off to 9-10 out of 10. I set their gaydar off too - but only with 3 of them - funnily enough, it was only the stereotypical "dyke" who failed to spot me at all! The other three sussed me out - presumably because they realised I was putting out the subtle "signals" that they were, and we had little subtle "I'm going to drop a very subtle hint here and see if you get it" games going on.

In my opinion, apart from where it's totally obvious, gaydar relies upon interaction with a person. Eye contact, the way they react to you, what they talk about, what they don't talk about, the use of gender-neutral pronouns and the like. You can't see these things, you experience them.

But from my experience this year, I'd say that there is such a thing, but that it isn't foolproof by any means.

[just wanna B me]

I have been told that gaydar indeed exists.. I suppose in brief interactions when my gaydar goes off.. i suspect it only to be wishful thinking.. but that bugs me even more cause then I just think .. what if..