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How to stop being such a dork?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by edy, Jan 9, 2015.

  1. edy

    edy
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    I get good grade (which is awesome), I suck at sports and I just started using glasses. I have social anxiety, basically nobody invites me to go out (and if they do, they just say it without actually meaning it). I don't drink alcohol nor do drugs (I used to but now I have reflux and I hate the taste of that). I don't know if I'm just extremely shy/insecure, or everybody freaking hates me

    I feel like nobody takes me serious at school. I don't even have friends anymore because all the friends I had were seniors the last year.. and well, they left me for good lol. The only guy I know (and LIKE) seems like he's a little sick of my presence. I approached him today and he gave me this "not you again" look lmao (actually, that's not funny), we "talkedĀ· a little bit, then he walked away :rolle:

    I even make homework for guys I like :tears: yes, I know, that's very tragic (and desperate=

    ---------- Post added 9th Jan 2015 at 11:24 PM ----------

    And today, I dreamed of my old school, where I suffered from bullying many years. I even saw one of my old bullies (which had a change of heart), he approached me but I really had to go so we couldn't talk... isn't it strange how I saw this guy the exact same day I had this dream?

    By the way, he looked so old for a 22 year-old guy, I felt good about that because I look like I'm only 17 :lol:

    Looking fresh and young is my revenge
     
    #1 edy, Jan 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2015
  2. happydavid

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    I don't think there is anything wrong with you because we are all different for a reason. You come across as a smart young man which I envy you for.
    Don't change yourself for anyone.
    If you need to talk just wall message me. You have a friend if you need one.
     
  3. edy

    edy
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    Awww thank you (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
     
  4. potofsoup

    potofsoup Guest

    Hi edy,

    First of all, take this test to see if you really have social anxiety.

    https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/test-social-anxiety-disorder-find-out-if-you-suffer-social-phobia'

    Also, do read the articles in the above website.

    If you feel that you really have social anxiety, consult a therapist and seek treatment.

    Also, there are many self-help books that you can read and practice the cognitive strategies.

    Most of the negative thoughts that you have might be due to low self-esteem and lack of confidence. As you rationalize your thoughts, you will realise all those are just wrong perceptions of yourself and you will be more confident of yourself. :slight_smile:

    Don't feel bad about yourself. You are worthy of all you desire in this life, just like everyone else. You are certainly good enough.

    30 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself

    18 Things To Tell Yourself When You Think You

    Please read through these 2 articles and practice the thoughts mentioned here. You will love yourself more and this is definitely an attractive aspect which will attract people to you (friends and even dates). :slight_smile:

    I understand how you feel because I went through the same situation as you. Now, I'm practicing these strategies and I can see small but worthwhile changes in my life. :slight_smile:

    If you ever need someone to discuss about these strategies, you can always PM me.

    Looking forward to see the new , positive and confident you! :slight_smile:

    About the dream, yup its strange. Maybe it can just be a coincidence too :slight_smile:

    Why don't you try to make friends with him? Who knows, he can be a close pal. :slight_smile:
    (But if he still bullies you, just stay away from him.)
     
  5. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

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    I would have answered yes to just about everything back when I was around your age. I doubt everybody hates you. Social anxiety is a learned disorder, and it can be unlearned, I needed and still need help unlearning it, and medication helps with mine.

    I've had it since I was 13. And it's pretty much f'ed up a lot of my life. Deal with it now while you are young. You have a lot good qualities, don't take your inner critic seriously, and put yourself out there within your comfort range. I was a wall flower at college until I found my "crowd" who were into the same things as I was.

    I know it's a hard thing to find someplace you fit in, when going any place or talking to anyone new, causes you so much anxiety you get sick, or say you are sick, so you can avoid it.

    Stop labeling yourself a dork, you sound like me, trying to hard to be accepted by people you aren't sure are your friends or not. I was a geek. Still am. But the problems you are facing of anxiety, self-doubt, etc, can all be overcome. Seek advice and always be honest with yourself.
     
  6. edy

    edy
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    Thank you, according to that quiz I do have social anxiety, but I don't think some of the questions are right..... how can I possibly know If I feel anxious during my wedding day when I'm not even married?

    I've been in therapy, the shrink said I must use my common sense and don't let Cognitive distortions frustrate my way of life

    And about the guy I saw today, yes he's very nice but I hold a grudge, so I don't want to have anything to do with ANYONE who was my classmate at that particular time
     
    #6 edy, Jan 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2015
  7. Tightrope

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    It's good that you have a support system.

    I've experienced some of what you've experienced for failing to conform, either because I didn't want to or just couldn't.

    The adversarial part doesn't go away, with bits and pieces that crawl back and sting you every now and then, BUT the good part is that you usually learn to make peace with it and sort of "own" your nerdiness or dorkiness, if that's how you or others want to label it. I've experienced both the good and the bad part of this situation. I hope you get to see the good part, too!
     
  8. edy

    edy
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    Mmmm I guess
     
  9. gazwkd

    gazwkd Guest

    Whilst it may be hard now, school is fleeting - it's more important to keep getting those good grades. There should be outreach groups there, school will be a distant memory once you leave and got on with your life :wink:
     
  10. edy

    edy
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    I know myself and I think I'm going to hold another grudge after this
     
  11. Young Blood

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    I am exactly the same as you. I felt like I was reading my story there minus the glasses :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: The only way I got through it all? The bullies? The social anxiety? The feelings of worthlessness or that everyone hates you? I started not to care what people thought and began to love being a dork. Now I take full pride in it. Most of what helped me through it was a movie called Sydney White. Kind of inspired me to be myself and not care what people thought. We're all dorks. Just some of us choose to let the world see it and to be proud of it and love it. When people see that you love it and don't care what they think, you'll see things change. I know it's easier said than done, so if you ever want to talk to a fellow dork, you can message me anytime :slight_smile:
     
  12. edy

    edy
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    I'm going to check that out (I love these kind of movies), thank you (*hug*):smilewave
     
  13. Zombi3

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    Nothing wrong with being a dork.

    You shouldn't care of how others think of you, you will never be happy. Just work on your self confidence.
     
  14. Tardis2020

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    Being drug/alcohol free and getting high grades is a good thing.

    Don't forget that.
     
  15. Alvina

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    How you view yourself,how others view you, and how you actually are, are all very different things.

    You might think you're "dork" but you're probably not. Usually "dorks" are the best people anyway-I wouldn't place too much importance on it.
     
  16. Stripe101

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    If there's one thing I've learned in my short 16 years of life it's this:

    Never stop being a dork.
     
  17. kingLaser458

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    I completely agree with Stripe101. Life is so much more fulfilling when you embrace who you are. Rule of thumb: The current you is way more interesting than any other you that you could possibly be.
     
  18. resu

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    Don't stop. Be yourself. You are the only you. You are the best and the worst and everything in the middle.
     
  19. treatmeright

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    I happen to know that "Dorks" in school will provide the jobs for the "cool" ones.
    Really you are the one who will succeed in real life, so just be yourself and don't warry about others perception of you.
     
  20. gayer axolotl

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    You need to find the fellow dorks, if you're in college this will be easier. It will involve putting yourself out there which can be nerve-wracking but it will be worth it. If they don't take you then you need an honest outside opinion from someone irl about how you are in social settings, you may be doing things considered rude without realizing it or meaning to be.