Things You Can't Control

This is the best part about adulthood I think... you stop waiting for life to be exciting and fun... you make it more exciting and fun for yourself.

There are no parents to tell you what to do. You pay your own bills hence you only have to please yourself.

Everyone will die sooner or later... if you focus on finish line too much you miss so much. When you want to live again, it might be too late.

 

There's no point in living, but you're here and you can have fun while you're here, so why not?

In addition to this, do you want to tell your friends and other relatives about all of the cool things you did and experienced when you were younger, rather than what they did and you didn't do? Often, I find myself telling others about cool things I saw someone do, or a badass thing my friend did, rather than what I've done and experienced. Give yourself the best life that will make others wish they did with theirs. If you screw up, at least you knew what it was like and know how to give yourself an even better life. Maybe a funny story to tell later.

The fact that everyone faces the same inevitable fate, death, should encourage you, as it didn't stop all the people who have experienced fulfilling lives from doing so.

I know it's all cliche and I've reworded the whole "you only live once" phrase, but it helps when you put it in perspective. The more occupied you are, the less time you have to think about what's down the end of the tunnel. Have fun while you're still in there. Happens to everyone who will ever and has lived, so you might as well.

 

If you continue to believe this, you may very well find yourself regretting having bitterly thrown every opportunity to waste. You would prove yourself - by refusing to love, you will never enjoy love. By dismissing fun as useless by its temporary nature, you'll end up realising that your life was meaningless because you let it be so. If you live life as nothing more than the preparation for death, you'll waste a wonderful chance to think and feel.

When I feel upset and consider nothing worthy, I just stop and smell the flowers. Quite literally. It has a marvellous effect and I'd highly recommend just smiling about something real rather than prematurely grieving over the abstract.

 

as someone without a belief in an afterlife etc, in my mind there is no point in living. it's a very hard thing to accept.

the only thing you can do is pass time. for example you can spend your time having fun or you can donate your time to something to help others. I know those things are pointless too though.

but I guess if you think about it, it doesn't matter if you live or die right now you just may as well let yourself feel while you are alive.

 

You think you feel bad now? Wait a few more years, it'll get worse...

... but that is exactly why, you need to realize something. You need to realize that life isn't totally controllable in some aspects, but it is in others. Namely how you decide to go about it, how you decide to interact with others, and more importantly, how you decide to treat yourself.

Yes, I won't sugar coat it. We will all die some day. But that is precisely why there is value to life, because it is limited. If we were all immortal, well, we'd be more inclined to slack off and keep saying, "Oh, I'll get around to ___... one day...". We'd have all the time in the world, to use and to lose, and very little incentive to actually do.

A great deal of the problem here appears to be, a sense of overwhelming uncertainty. This is perfectly natural, especially the older you get, and the more responsibilities you're handed. But you have to understand something, that cracking under pressure is only going to make troublesome things terrible. You have to want to tackle life head on, sometimes, so that you aren't always engaged in a reactionary-defensive role with it -- which will never end, even if it feels more comfortable. To make life cease putting you on the defensive, you have to take some kind of action, be it directly or with others.

You're half-right about adulthood. It isn't exactly fun -- if you're comparing it to childhood, that is. See, you lose some things with adulthood, but you also gain others. It's an equal exchange, if you will. As a child you didn't have too many responsibilities, but you had less freedom. As an adult you have more responsibilities, but you have more freedom (to a degree, but that's another topic for another day...). As a child you were dependent on others for your pleasures, while as an adult you can supply your own means of pleasure. There's other examples, but I'm sure, if you really think about this, you'll know what I'm talking about, and perhaps even come up with some of your own.

End of the day, this is what it boils down to:

You can complain about the futility of life, wallow in regrets, and slowly poison yourself with defeatism... or you can shake that negative-dust off, take control of yourself away from the doubts and insecurities, choke those two fuckers, and do something about your situation... otherwise, you're only going to find life as one beat down after another, as opposed to one experience after another -- and that, darling, is the key to beginning the process you need to achieve a degree of substance.

Regrets are not fun. Especially the more they stack up.

Personally, I would rather stand up, instead of kneeling down, so that others aren't afraid to do the same. I would rather be mocked for being kind, and perceived as weak, so that others can be on the receiving end of that. I would rather defy the cynicism I used to embrace, just to tell that bastard, it cannot - it will not - break me like it has so many others. I want to be an example to others, so that they know things are possible, despite their own reservations.

It's hard, but you'll find, over a period of time, goodness will come to you. Hurting souls and unsure minds will seek you out, and bonds will form. But if all you do is linger in the darkness, nobody will find you -- you have to ignite some kind of flame, to draw others, to reel in opportunities, that otherwise you are not going to find in the shadows.

Your move.