Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

JoeBloggs · 25th Oct 2008, 01:58 PM

Hi,

Just a little query really.

I've read quite a lot on here about people who "always knew" that they were gay, or at least that they sub-consciously "always were" gay, it just didn't occur to them until they came out to themselves.

But my story is a little different. Up until I was *about* 12, I wasn't physically attracted to anyone. There wasn't any things which make me think I was gay back then, and I even had a non-sexual crush on a girl when I was about 9 or 10 (though this was obviously pre-puberty so I had no sexual feelings whatsoever).

But when I was about 12, an attraction to guys kicked in - I was aware that for "everyone else" a similar attraction to girls was occuring. I suppose from that point on until about 2 years ago (when I was 16), I was just hoping it was a phase and that it would go away and be replaced by an attraction to girls.

Therefore the "coming out" to myself wasn't a kind of "bam!" that hit me that I must be gay... it was simply my loss of faith of it being a phase. Which happened 4 years on from when it started.

So there's my (life) story, and I just wanted to know the proportion of people on here that "always knew" (at least partially), or whether, like me, the first signs of being gay were during puberty.

25th Oct 2008, 02:02 PM

I kinda felt it when I was very little,but it stopped for a period of time...few years ago it started again and this time it won't fade...

Kenko · 25th Oct 2008, 02:09 PM

I selected yes.

I didn't admit to myself until 3 years ago or so, however looking at the signs, yes there were signs.

For starters I had a major crush on my grade 5/6 teacher.

pirateninja · 25th Oct 2008, 02:16 PM

Yep. Certainly were. Even from a verrrry young age (4 or 5) I could sense I was different. I maybe wasn't sure just how at that age, but I could tell.

Wander · 25th Oct 2008, 02:31 PM

Yes. A lot of my elementary friends were girls, and I always thought the classic Disney movies with princesses were more interesting than Aladdin or Hercules. At one point, in third grade, I was flipping through a magazine in class as part of a project, saw a picture of this attractive guy, and said out loud, "He's cute". I quickly realized what I had just said, but it was a very loud classroom and I don't think anyone noticed.

Adam · 25th Oct 2008, 02:33 PM

I didn't know till I hit puberty. But I guess iv always been a little different...

Apocalypte · 25th Oct 2008, 02:35 PM

Not really for me, I only had the first indications that I might not be straight when I was about 16.

**Ben** · 25th Oct 2008, 02:43 PM

For sure. At the age of 5 I was telling everyone I wanted to be a girl. The signs have always been there.

jazzrawr · 25th Oct 2008, 02:46 PM

Definately - I had a crush on my female teacher in grade 3. XD
I got emotional crushes on girls before puberty, and when i hit puberty around 11 it hit me full-on. XD

25th Oct 2008, 02:51 PM

I selected no. There were no signs at all pre puberty that's why I think when I found out it hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't take it well.

Swamp56 · 25th Oct 2008, 02:58 PM

I had a crush on a boy in third grade lol.

MusicIsLife · 25th Oct 2008, 02:59 PM

Yeeeup. I had a huge crush on Shania Twain from her Man! I Feel Like A Woman video :P

Daniel · 25th Oct 2008, 03:04 PM

I always looked great in a pair of heals. From the age of 2 and up.

**Victor** · 25th Oct 2008, 03:09 PM

The signs were there. I had pretty much only girls for friends in elementary school, and I played a lot of jump rope. haha. I had no interest in any of the sports we played. xD
I did have crushes on girls though... I didn't even look at guys until the 7th grade....

25th Oct 2008, 03:27 PM

it happened in puberty.. we got the internet and i serched for gay pporn... like sub conciously

Starshine16 · 25th Oct 2008, 03:27 PM

Looking back yeah there was several signs.I just never realized it until reccently.I was in High School and I had what I now know was my first girl crush on one of my classmates.Well two of them really.I didn't realize that they were actually crushes until I realized that I was bisexual 2 years ago.It really stunned me when I realized it though because I really had no idea.

Now that I realize I am bisexual I remember that I had what I called "strange feelings" for a girl in my 2nd/3rd grade class.I cried for days when she moved away.

gutsrie · 25th Oct 2008, 03:32 PM

i once told my teacher that a certain male actor was very hot when i was in fifth grade. i had no idea what 'gay' was then but i can still remember the look she had on her face when she heard that... it was priceless.

otherwise, i always had an attraction for guys ever since i was younger and even women when i was younger.

lexie · 25th Oct 2008, 03:37 PM

i didnt always know. the first time i actually thought 'whoa hang on', was when i got my first crush on a girl, and that was only a couple of years back. when i do think back before her, all i recall is confusion, however looking back there were signs yeah.

sblvd06 · 25th Oct 2008, 03:47 PM

Yeah I've always known. A shitless guy always did something for me that a girl in a bikini didn't.

In the first grade I told my friends that I wished I was girl and they never let me live it down.

sdc91 · 25th Oct 2008, 03:54 PM

Hm, well I had a nonsexual crush on a girl in 1st grade (or maybe it was Kindergarten), but I also remember that whenever I saw a hot guy (advertisement, irl) I got a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. After that first crush (which probably wasn't a crush...), it's been 100% boys.

View Poll Results: Have you "always known" you were gay, even partially?
Yes	94	76.42%
No	29	23.58%
Voters: 123. You may not vote on this poll

25th Oct 2008, 01:58 PM	#1
JoeBloggs Newbie Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone but college friends Location: UK Posts: 9 Join Date: Jan 2008	Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Hi, Just a little query really. I've read quite a lot on here about people who "always knew" that they were gay, or at least that they sub-consciously "always were" gay, it just didn't occur to them until they came out to themselves. But my story is a little different. Up until I was about 12, I wasn't physically attracted to anyone. There wasn't any things which make me think I was gay back then, and I even had a non-sexual crush on a girl when I was about 9 or 10 (though this was obviously pre-puberty so I had no sexual feelings whatsoever). But when I was about 12, an attraction to guys kicked in - I was aware that for "everyone else" a similar attraction to girls was occuring. I suppose from that point on until about 2 years ago (when I was 16), I was just hoping it was a phase and that it would go away and be replaced by an attraction to girls. Therefore the "coming out" to myself wasn't a kind of "bam!" that hit me that I must be gay... it was simply my loss of faith of it being a phase. Which happened 4 years on from when it started. So there's my (life) story, and I just wanted to know the proportion of people on here that "always knew" (at least partially), or whether, like me, the first signs of being gay were during puberty.

25th Oct 2008, 02:02 PM	#2
berileos Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? I kinda felt it when I was very little,but it stopped for a period of time...few years ago it started again and this time it won't fade...

25th Oct 2008, 02:09 PM	#3
Kenko EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few friends + parents Location: Canada Age: 26 Posts: 1,407 Join Date: Jan 2007	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? I selected yes. I didn't admit to myself until 3 years ago or so, however looking at the signs, yes there were signs. For starters I had a major crush on my grade 5/6 teacher.

25th Oct 2008, 02:16 PM	#4
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Yep. Certainly were. Even from a verrrry young age (4 or 5) I could sense I was different. I maybe wasn't sure just how at that age, but I could tell. __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

25th Oct 2008, 02:31 PM	#5
Wander Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents, aunts, grandma, counselor, online friends Location: Central Alabama Age: 18 Posts: 2,360 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Yes. A lot of my elementary friends were girls, and I always thought the classic Disney movies with princesses were more interesting than Aladdin or Hercules. At one point, in third grade, I was flipping through a magazine in class as part of a project, saw a picture of this attractive guy, and said out loud, "He's cute". I quickly realized what I had just said, but it was a very loud classroom and I don't think anyone noticed.

25th Oct 2008, 02:33 PM	#6
Adam EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Posts: 539 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? I didn't know till I hit puberty. But I guess iv always been a little different...

25th Oct 2008, 02:35 PM	#7
Apocalypte Ytse Jamming. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Dublin, Ireland Age: 27 Posts: 2,217 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Not really for me, I only had the first indications that I might not be straight when I was about 16. __________________ "I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming." - Homer Simpson

25th Oct 2008, 02:43 PM	#8
Ben Was Invisible. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 20 Posts: 3,704 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? For sure. At the age of 5 I was telling everyone I wanted to be a girl. The signs have always been there.

25th Oct 2008, 02:46 PM	#9
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Definately - I had a crush on my female teacher in grade 3. XD I got emotional crushes on girls before puberty, and when i hit puberty around 11 it hit me full-on. XD __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

25th Oct 2008, 02:51 PM	#10
Midnight Angel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? I selected no. There were no signs at all pre puberty that's why I think when I found out it hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't take it well.

25th Oct 2008, 02:58 PM	#11
Swamp56 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? I had a crush on a boy in third grade lol. __________________

25th Oct 2008, 02:59 PM	#12
MusicIsLife EC Addict Full Member Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between. Orientation: I like girls :) Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue. Location: Montréal, QC Age: 23 Posts: 1,595 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Yeeeup. I had a huge crush on Shania Twain from her Man! I Feel Like A Woman video :P

25th Oct 2008, 03:04 PM	#13
Daniel the great cheese danish Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Buffalo, NY Age: 21 Posts: 2,874 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? I always looked great in a pair of heals. From the age of 2 and up. __________________ "Nobody can teach me who I am, who can describe parts of me, but who I am and what I need, these are things I have to find out myself." - Chunua Achebe

25th Oct 2008, 03:09 PM	#14
Victor Moo EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Pretty damn out Location: California Age: 21 Posts: 1,971 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? The signs were there. I had pretty much only girls for friends in elementary school, and I played a lot of jump rope. haha. I had no interest in any of the sports we played. xD I did have crushes on girls though... I didn't even look at guys until the 7th grade....

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25th Oct 2008, 03:27 PM	#15
Master Hade Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? it happened in puberty.. we got the internet and i serched for gay pporn... like sub conciously

25th Oct 2008, 03:27 PM	#16
Starshine16 One Day At A Time Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but grandmother and uncle Location: California Age: 26 Posts: 563 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Looking back yeah there was several signs.I just never realized it until reccently.I was in High School and I had what I now know was my first girl crush on one of my classmates.Well two of them really.I didn't realize that they were actually crushes until I realized that I was bisexual 2 years ago.It really stunned me when I realized it though because I really had no idea. Now that I realize I am bisexual I remember that I had what I called "strange feelings" for a girl in my 2nd/3rd grade class.I cried for days when she moved away.

25th Oct 2008, 03:32 PM	#17
gutsrie EC's Biggest Creep Full Member Gender: Guy Orientation: Gay Out Status: Ask and I'll tell Location: California Age: 26 Posts: 246 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? i once told my teacher that a certain male actor was very hot when i was in fifth grade. i had no idea what 'gay' was then but i can still remember the look she had on her face when she heard that... it was priceless. otherwise, i always had an attraction for guys ever since i was younger and even women when i was younger.

25th Oct 2008, 03:37 PM	#18
lexie Member Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Not sure (still trying to figure it out) Posts: 96 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? i didnt always know. the first time i actually thought 'whoa hang on', was when i got my first crush on a girl, and that was only a couple of years back. when i do think back before her, all i recall is confusion, however looking back there were signs yeah.

25th Oct 2008, 03:47 PM	#19
sblvd06 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Los Angeles area Age: 23 Posts: 62 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Yeah I've always known. A shitless guy always did something for me that a girl in a bikini didn't. In the first grade I told my friends that I wished I was girl and they never let me live it down.

25th Oct 2008, 03:54 PM	#20
sdc91 Coop d'état Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Berlin, Germany Age: 21 Posts: 1,607 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Looking back, were there signs pre-puberty? Hm, well I had a nonsexual crush on a girl in 1st grade (or maybe it was Kindergarten), but I also remember that whenever I saw a hot guy (advertisement, irl) I got a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. After that first crush (which probably wasn't a crush...), it's been 100% boys.