So six months ago I started a new job. Everything was and still is great. I enjoy the job and the people as a whole are really helpful and friendly. However there is this one guy that shall remain unnamed that is driving me crazy, to the point where I don't want to be in the same room as him. It started about three months ago. I was in the office with a few of my colleagues (each of which know I am gay as I had to fill an equality form out before I started) and we were just chatting about films we had seen recently. One lad mentioned that he had recently watched Dallas Buyers Club which led onto him explaining to the older members of the team what it was about. So, the man in question, the ones who has been driving me crazy piped up. "do you remember when (we'll call him Paul) Paul worked here when the whole aids thing first came about.... I wouldn't let him have his own cup, f**king puff probably had aids". I was shocked to hear this and although I didn't take much offence to it, it annoyed me how he was willing to generalise. He hasn't the slightest clue that I am gay so was completely unaware. His comments, although shocking got no reaction from any one in the office and I'm fact people sensed how awkward it could make others feel and instantly switched the conversation. Over the next few days I still hadn't forgotten what he had said about Paul. And I was waiting to time my moment perfectly to pull him or speak to someone else about his comments. Anyway, the comments and jokes of the gay sort continued in stories of former colleagues and their personal lives. One comment was about a guy that used to work here about 5 years ago. He was gay. He had a long term partner a very well respected doctor and architect duo and real pillars of the community. However allegations got out that they had raped a young lad, which was found not to be true in the end but this awful guy in my office didn't accept that and followed with... "do you remember george and vic, they've just been locked up for raping a young lad (this isn't true)... Yeah they tied him up and out a leather mask on him because that's what they all do those gay people isn't it, they love their leather" he followed his stupid comment with a 10 second laugh, trying to get people on his side but failing miserably. Anyway I was shocked once again at how someone can be so ignorant in this day in age. I know he's an older guy and we're generations apart but it's the 21st century and he needs to move with the times. Following this comment I sought advice from my boss and he advised me to take the issue to HR which I did, politely. They brought it up with the guy in question and since then all comments have stopped and I have received a formal apology from him. He still can't look me in the eye, but no one needs to hear that at work or anywhere and I felt quite within my rights to put the complaint in. After speaking to HR apparently it isn't the first time they have received such complaints about the same guy. Sorry this is long but I just thought I'd share this with you guys and outline my utter disbelief when I heard such comments.
Good, quite within your rights. We are fortunate equality and diversity policies are quite tight here As you said he's been noted for it before so this should certainly raise red flags with the company - hopefully it gets raised on his performance reviews if you have them.
I hear you. I use to play in a band. And they all knew that I'm gay... or bi. Like my profile says, I like men more than women. Let's just call 80% men and 20% women. But all of my ex band mates knew. And I also play online in xbox too. It happened at my former place of employment as well. Sometimes I took offense to it. Most of the times I thought nothing of it. In band practice, I will say something. And the drummer laughs and says "That's so gay!" I think nothing of it. He will make fun of me it, but I always get him back with a gay joke or something. And our singer would pipe in and go, "Damn (at the drummer), you are gonna need some ice for that BURN!" At band it's all in good fun... though it makes me uncomfortable, I still get his ass back. I used the same methods at my last job too. But that is a professional place and such comments should not be tolerated. As it is a violation of the harassment and discrimination policies at the place of work. However, I should be careful too. And on xbox live, when playing Black Ops II, I have a Rainbow Heart with rainbow lettering on the top and bottom that says "LGBTQ SUPPORT" . I get called a faggot, gueer, mainly faggot though. But I do the same thing. Sadly... I sleep with men, and here I am calling the people who camp in corners a fag. I'm a hypocrite, yes I know. But... there will always be haters in this world. I am unsure about the "guy driving you crazy" because I have never met him. But he sounds like the guy who does that shit just to get attention and be popular. The class clown so to speak. Who knows, maybe he is homophobic. And I do feel you when it comes to the workplace environment. It would shock me as well, if someone in my job starting saying that stuff. Reguardless of being staff or customers. But, that's just the way things are. You can't really do much about customers except tell the supervisors what is going on. And if the problem is bad and you are being harassed or threatened by the customers, then your place of employment can take action. And you had the right idea about taking the issue up with Human Resources. In my job, they tell me: If someone is making me uncomfortable or I feel offended by something they say. Then talk to them, pull them aside when I have the opportunity and tell them that I was offended or it hurt my feelings or made me uncomfortable. If they have a problem with that, or continue to persist with such behavior, then can take it to the Administrator. They have Zero tolerance for that stuff in the professional work environment.
Well that's good u reported him you had every right to. He's just one of those right wing old fashioned conservatives and ya.
