I've had a total of 6 relationships since 2012. All my exes hurt me in some way... But I want to find love again. I recently was talking to this guy who lives maybe 30 minutes away from my town. We talked for maybe two days, but after the third day, he never responded to my messages. And so I deleted his number from my phone. Then my best friend called me on December 14th and asked me out. We dated for 5 days; she broke up with me on the 19th and cited the fact that: "L (the guy she likes) comes off as straight. No offense, but you don't come off as straight." She's bi also. We were dating in secret. Her parents didn't know I'm bi--they think I'm gay. She's not out to her parents either. But yet she says that she wants someone who comes off as straight.... It makes me so mad. To think that she's like my sister. We've been through so much together... And now she treats me like I don't matter? Anyway... It's been a few weeks since we broke up. She was here in town and never said hi to me. No call, no text from her... Nothing. But I want love again. I feel like my problem though is that I don't know whether to breakup with someone based on when they show me their bad side. I stay with that person through whatever. My cousin told me himself, that I'm too naive. I see the good in people and it takes someone doing something to me to force me to break up with them. I also feel like I'm scared to open up. When I do open up, I find that a short while after I start dating that person, they immediately break up with me. I don't wanna open up because I'm scared to be hurt by that other person. My cousin was also telling me that I won't meet the man of my dreams online. That he believes in face to face interaction. "You might meet your best friend online, but you won't meet the man of your dreams online" he told me. My other problem is that I'm social, but when I'm around new people, I'm shy, quiet. I tend to just observe crowds because I never feel like socialising unless I'm comfortable with someone. I feel so alone, and it would be nice to have a ride or die type of guy by my side. I see my mom and her boyfriend constantly together, and it makes me jealous, hurt, angry... Because I see them being affectionate and I think "Damn... I want what they have" (Although he's cheating on his wife with my mom but that's for a later post) I just really want a boyfriend. I also want sex. I'm a virgin, and I've always fantasised about my first time. Thoughts? Advice?
i believe dating websites are the best ways to meet guys. its hard to meet gay guys any other way. if you are talking to a guy just be yourself
Remember you're only 18, and dating sites are not the best way to meet guys unless you live in a very intolerant area (Texas seems like one of those). The thing with online interactions is that people have a mask on: their writing style (which may not reflect their speech or mannerisms), possibilities of hiding sarcasm, dislike, etc., all of which mean you should try to meet in person ASAP to get a better picture. Communication is not just about words. Even Skyping would be better. Maybe you should open up to third parties and not just partners. They're not supposed to be your counselor, and many people are really bad counselors because they can't put themselves in your shoes. Try being social but in a quieter event like a small concert or a book store. Go where you like going. You might find a guy there who is interesting, and sharing one interest makes you two more likely to share others as well.
"Dating sites are not the best way to meet guys unless you live in an intolerant area"--Well I live in New Jersey. I don't know if NJ is intolerant, but there are barely any gay or bi guys here. It's even harder to find bicurious guys here because there are so many straight ones. I used to try and make friends with this one guy. When I came out to him he told me "Ewwwww don't talk to me if you are that" and then I asked if I could come over his house, just to hang out since that's what friends do. (Big mistake) He said "You're not coming over my house" I'm not a very social person. I don't speak unless spoken to. If you don't talk to me then I don't talk to you under any circumstance. And if I do talk to you for the first time, it's either because a) I'm attracted to you; or b) I want to be your friend. Conversations with me can go two ways when I start the conversation. A) I think of a topic, but the person only gives one word answers (I HATE people who give one word answers to my questions). Or b) We can talk like I've known the person for 50 years. Most times I think of the conversation topic, and the person just sits there and gives me one word answers. That's why meeting new people makes me cringe bevause I always think the person will just sit there and not say anything. ---------- Post added 25th Jan 2015 at 09:22 AM ---------- I've been on many a dating site since 2012. I've met 5 guys who became my boyfriend, and 2 who almost became my boyfriend but a lot of things stopped us from being together. I always have a tough time finding guys who want to date me and won't hold back on that promise.
Ah love... I see a lot of people looking for love because they're lonely or unhappy and feel that love and having a significant other will fill that void. It doesn't work, sure you are relatively happy when you are with someone, but what about when that ends and even if that other person does make you happy you need to make sure not to become dependant on them because of it. You don't need a partner to be happy. Not to say that this is the reason you are looking for love, but just make sure your going into it for the right reasons. Another thing is to make sure you are ready to move on from your previous relationship. Sure I want love, but am I ready for it after my last breakup? No, not really, so I'm not going to search for it. Just make sure that you don't have any lingering feelings so you don't make the mistake I have and hurt someone when you realize you aren't over your ex. Breaking up with someone doesn't really have to do with your partner showing their bad side. When someone shows you their bad side, their trusting you. You should be able to see someone's bad side and someone's good side and still be able to get through it, because of your love for them. Everybody has flaws and imperfections your not going to find someone perfect. You don't need to know when to break up with someone, when you don't feel like you are happy with your partner any more and you don't feel like you can get that spark back then it is time to go. It sucks but feelings fade. As far as finding it that is a bit difficult. If your shy and quiet in social settings bring your friends, but if you've had six relationships since 2012 your doing something right. Just have fun and don't put all your time and energy in finding love. Go out and get to know people and I'm sure someone will come along who piques your interest!
I was referring to the first reply, because that person is in Texas. If I recall correctly, you have Asperger's? In that case, you might try asking others about how they interact with neurotypical people. Try instead of asking the person about something that they are interested in. Make the conversation more even than you just trying to think of things to say and they not being talkative. ---------- Post added 25th Jan 2015 at 10:46 PM ---------- You might also ask a friend just to help you in practicing how to interact with others so that they can point out any problems you've overlooked.
Well hopefully when your older maybe you could move out of New Jersey and find somewhere you would like to live or is more gay friendly.
