Which sex did you come out to first? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

JoeBloggs · 29th Oct 2008, 04:24 PM

Following on from the "have you always known you were gay" question, I've thought of another question which I'd be interested in hearing your responses.

What's the sex of the first person you came out to? To keep this balanced, this EXCLUDES people who you knew were gay/bi. So in other words, the sex of the first person you told knowing that they were straight themselves.

Also, for interest, I've split the options into different sexes, to see if there's a difference between the males and female responses.

If you're not out to anyone yet, please don't answer the poll or the results will be inaccurate

My personal circumstance is that the first straight person I told was female.

littledinosaurs · 29th Oct 2008, 04:27 PM

I guess a girl
but i don't think you can rule out coming to a gay/bi person because its still a big deal if you do that too in my opinion. and in my case i only told the girl cause i was talking to her about the guy i told and its a pretty long story.

JoeBloggs · 29th Oct 2008, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littledinosaurs

I guess a girl
but i don't think you can rule out coming to a gay/bi person because its still a big deal if you do that too in my opinion. and in my case i only told the girl cause i was talking to her about the guy i told and its a pretty long story.

The reason for excluding gay/bi people is because, generally, telling a gay/bi person is unrelated to the gender. In other words, if they were male OR female the likelihood is you would still have felt comfortable with telling them, because you knew they were gay/bi themselves.

Where as telling a straight person indicates that you're likely to trust that sex in knowing more than you do the other (to whichever extent).

**Maddy** · 29th Oct 2008, 04:34 PM

The first few people I told were all girls.

acorn7 · 29th Oct 2008, 05:01 PM

I'm the first one to have come out to a guy first! Yay! It didn't really count (he was my crush and not my friend...) but he's the first, like it or not. If I took the top 10 though, it would be around 30% guys and 70% girls, I think... My friends are mostly girls. And I imagine for most people it would be girls since they're usually more accepting and closer to us gays.

George · 29th Oct 2008, 05:13 PM

I told my brother first. He was a bit thingy about it and still is today.

jazzrawr · 29th Oct 2008, 05:15 PM

Girl. I've only ever come out to three guys, out of the like...15 people i'm out to. XD

Mickey · 29th Oct 2008, 05:17 PM

It was a girl. My youngest sister.

XXX Lou XXX · 29th Oct 2008, 05:56 PM

First person I came out to was a boy.

Daniel · 29th Oct 2008, 06:45 PM

Um, I got drunk and screamed it to the whole room of strangers. And then forgot that I did it and was told two days later I did.

29th Oct 2008, 06:53 PM

I came out to a girl.

-Michael- · 29th Oct 2008, 06:57 PM

I told my bestest buddy.
She is a ....she.

Never had to come out to a guy personally.
They all just heard by word of mouth or reading my Myspace

jbb1236 · 29th Oct 2008, 07:02 PM

The first two people were both male for me, one was my brother and the other was my best friend.

lap531 · 29th Oct 2008, 07:05 PM

The first person I came out to was a girl.

Bunny · 29th Oct 2008, 07:09 PM

My best friend is a guy, so...

Edit: Then again, he does tend to pretend I never said anything. xD

Wander · 29th Oct 2008, 07:12 PM

Wow, it certainly seems like people are more comfortable coming out to females regardless of their own identity.

I'm obviously male, and my mother was the first real-life person I came out to.

29th Oct 2008, 07:15 PM

The first person I told in real life was a guy, my best friend.

epiphanies · 29th Oct 2008, 07:49 PM

This is going to sound funny, but I really don't know who I came out to first. I "came out" in high school to a couple people (an internet friend (guy) and my best friend (girl).) I totally forgot about it, actually, because it was probably 10th or 11th grade. But now that I'm sure, the first person I told was a guy. Then another guy. Then my best friend (gay girl). I have only told one of my girl friends, and I have yet to come out to someone in person.

Jonathan · 29th Oct 2008, 08:43 PM

The first person I came out to was a girl (my best friend).

musican · 29th Oct 2008, 08:44 PM

I have told 7 people, 8 if you include an online aquiantence and all the people are female. I have yet to let male know, but that would be awkward for me because I generally just get along with girls better than guys and I feel more comfortable talking to girls than guys. The first guy that will know will most likely be my dad (I'll probably ask my mom to tell him), or possibly my male guidance counselor.

View Poll Results: What is the sex of the first straight person you came out to?
I identify as a guy, and the first straight person I came out to was male	23	26.44%
I identify as a guy, and the first straight person I came out to was female	43	49.43%
I identify as a girl, and the first straight person I came out to was male	6	6.90%
I identify as a girl, and the first straight person I came out to was female	15	17.24%
Voters: 87. You may not vote on this poll

29th Oct 2008, 04:24 PM	#1
JoeBloggs Newbie Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone but college friends Location: UK Posts: 9 Join Date: Jan 2008	Which sex did you come out to first? Following on from the "have you always known you were gay" question, I've thought of another question which I'd be interested in hearing your responses. What's the sex of the first person you came out to? To keep this balanced, this EXCLUDES people who you knew were gay/bi. So in other words, the sex of the first person you told knowing that they were straight themselves. Also, for interest, I've split the options into different sexes, to see if there's a difference between the males and female responses. If you're not out to anyone yet, please don't answer the poll or the results will be inaccurate My personal circumstance is that the first straight person I told was female.

29th Oct 2008, 04:27 PM	#2
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? I guess a girl but i don't think you can rule out coming to a gay/bi person because its still a big deal if you do that too in my opinion. and in my case i only told the girl cause i was talking to her about the guy i told and its a pretty long story. __________________ Âllo Là

29th Oct 2008, 04:34 PM	#4
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,702 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? The first few people I told were all girls. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

29th Oct 2008, 05:01 PM	#5
acorn7 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Montreal Age: 21 Posts: 636 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? I'm the first one to have come out to a guy first! Yay! It didn't really count (he was my crush and not my friend...) but he's the first, like it or not. If I took the top 10 though, it would be around 30% guys and 70% girls, I think... My friends are mostly girls. And I imagine for most people it would be girls since they're usually more accepting and closer to us gays.

29th Oct 2008, 05:13 PM	#6
George Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 19 Posts: 2,387 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? I told my brother first. He was a bit thingy about it and still is today.

29th Oct 2008, 05:15 PM	#7
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? Girl. I've only ever come out to three guys, out of the like...15 people i'm out to. XD __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

29th Oct 2008, 05:17 PM	#8
Mickey Older and bolder! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Massachusetts Age: 50 Posts: 1,775 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? It was a girl. My youngest sister. __________________ We don't choose to be gay...we're CHOSEN!

29th Oct 2008, 05:56 PM	#9
XXX Lou XXX EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Friends, mum & grandparents (finally!) Location: West Sussex Age: 19 Posts: 452 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? First person I came out to was a boy.

29th Oct 2008, 06:45 PM	#10
Daniel the great cheese danish Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Buffalo, NY Age: 21 Posts: 2,874 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? Um, I got drunk and screamed it to the whole room of strangers. And then forgot that I did it and was told two days later I did. __________________ "Nobody can teach me who I am, who can describe parts of me, but who I am and what I need, these are things I have to find out myself." - Chunua Achebe

29th Oct 2008, 06:53 PM	#11
Loveless Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? I came out to a girl.

29th Oct 2008, 06:57 PM	#12
-Michael- Been gone a while. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: DragonPhoenixLightningAwesome Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Middlesbrough, North-east England Age: 20 Posts: 2,198 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? I told my bestest buddy. She is a ....she. Never had to come out to a guy personally. They all just heard by word of mouth or reading my Myspace

29th Oct 2008, 07:02 PM	#13
jbb1236 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone but Parents Location: Boodocks, Iowa Posts: 150 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? The first two people were both male for me, one was my brother and the other was my best friend.

29th Oct 2008, 07:05 PM	#14
lap531 Taste the Rainbow! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Everyone Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 209 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? The first person I came out to was a girl.

29th Oct 2008, 07:09 PM	#15
Bunny EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Boys <3 Out Status: if they would only ask Location: Canada~ Age: 18 Posts: 430 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? My best friend is a guy, so... Edit: Then again, he does tend to pretend I never said anything. xD

29th Oct 2008, 07:12 PM	#16
Wander Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents, aunts, grandma, counselor, online friends Location: Central Alabama Age: 18 Posts: 2,360 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? Wow, it certainly seems like people are more comfortable coming out to females regardless of their own identity. I'm obviously male, and my mother was the first real-life person I came out to.

29th Oct 2008, 07:15 PM	#17
Midnight Angel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? The first person I told in real life was a guy, my best friend.

29th Oct 2008, 07:49 PM	#18
epiphanies Well Known Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: More gay than bi Out Status: All important people. Do ask, Do tell. Location: VA Age: 24 Posts: 199 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? This is going to sound funny, but I really don't know who I came out to first. I "came out" in high school to a couple people (an internet friend (guy) and my best friend (girl).) I totally forgot about it, actually, because it was probably 10th or 11th grade. But now that I'm sure, the first person I told was a guy. Then another guy. Then my best friend (gay girl). I have only told one of my girl friends, and I have yet to come out to someone in person.

29th Oct 2008, 08:43 PM	#19
Jonathan Formerly Muzzy Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 3,036 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? The first person I came out to was a girl (my best friend). __________________

29th Oct 2008, 08:44 PM	#20
musican EC's Resident DJ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: "I wanna kiss a boy" Out Status: family and facebook Location: (Not the city), New York Age: 20 Posts: 3,832 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Which sex did you come out to first? I have told 7 people, 8 if you include an online aquiantence and all the people are female. I have yet to let male know, but that would be awkward for me because I generally just get along with girls better than guys and I feel more comfortable talking to girls than guys. The first guy that will know will most likely be my dad (I'll probably ask my mom to tell him), or possibly my male guidance counselor. __________________ How I miss our love when the winter surrounds me icicle teardrops.