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Dude won't send any pics. We met online. What to do?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by yellaone, Jan 24, 2015.

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  1. yellaone

    yellaone
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    I'm bi (not out) and I replied to an add for a fwb online. This is something I've never done before but my curiosity has gotten the best of me. It turns out that the guy (21y/o) is legit and we've text and talked on the phone for the last two weeks and clicked. He's a pretty cool sane chill dude. We're both in college and go to school near each other. We've talked about different things besides sex. He won't send me any pictures because says he discreet/closeted and doesn't want to put his pictures online. We've agreed to meet at the mall in our area. I'm leery about this because of his refusal to send pics. Can anyone give me advice on if I should meet him? Does anyone have any experience with this? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
     
    #1 yellaone, Jan 24, 2015
  2. Chip

    Chip
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    No matter how discreet, sending a clothed face pic should be a non issue, especially if you have been speaking. So I would be very very skeptical... He may be twice your age, or something else may be up.

    In any case, I think it is reasonable to say you need to see a pic, or see him on webcam, or something, before meeting in person.
     
    #2 Chip, Jan 24, 2015
  3. raiden04

    raiden04 Guest

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    I agree with Chip, a face pic (attached to an email for example) isn't too much to ask.
     
    #3 raiden04, Jan 25, 2015
  4. QueerTransEnby

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    I wouldn't meet anyone without a face pic. I also wouldn't be willing to say anyone is legit without meeting in person. Just saying...
     
    #4 QueerTransEnby, Jan 25, 2015
  5. GhostNeko

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    No pic, no Skype, no meet. I'm sorry, but this person might actually be some 50 year old man. Chances are that he is 21, chances are that he's 50. I personally would not meet without a Skype.
     
    #5 GhostNeko, Jan 25, 2015
  6. Yosia

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    How are you supposed to know what he looks like without a face picture? :lol:
     
    #6 Yosia, Jan 25, 2015
  7. Pine

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    I met a guy online, I sent him pics, video, he said he'd never send me anything because that was just the way it was. I still talk to him. But I just feel like he's hiding a secret.
     
    #7 Pine, Jan 25, 2015
  8. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    I could understand his refusal if you had been speaking for only a very short time, but after two weeks it's not unreasonable of you to ask for a face pic. You want to know who you are meeting.

    ---------- Post added 25th Jan 2015 at 11:38 AM ----------
    He very likely is.
     
    #8 PatrickUK, Jan 25, 2015
  9. PressPlay

    PressPlay
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    At this point I don't even bother responding to people without face pics unless they send one with the first "Hi".
     
    #9 PressPlay, Jan 25, 2015
  10. Vampire

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    I completely agree with the others above. You most certainly have good reasons to be skeptical and I wouldn't meet anyone without seeing them before hand. Keep in mind that even if, he does send a picture, it could be a picture downloaded from a random website.
     
    #10 Vampire, Jan 25, 2015
  11. chocolate dream

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    I can understand where he is coming from about not sending a pic to start with.But you need to see a pic so you know who to look out for.if hes not dodgy,surely this implies that he doesnt trust you?
    I wouldnt even chat to someone if i didnt know what they looked like
     
    #11 chocolate dream, Jan 25, 2015
  12. kageshiro

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    Tbh i do consider this a bit of a red flag. best case scenario he's just insecure, worst case he's hiding something and could be very dangerous. Odds are its the former but you can never be too careful when it comes to stuff like this. Don't meet him without confirming for a fact he is who he claims to be, and I would definitely refuse to meet in person unless he sends pictures/contact info/social media account or something else to verify this with.
     
    #12 kageshiro, Jan 25, 2015
  13. howsit

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    The pic thing I can understand, but if he's not down to facetime or skype either, that is kinda sketchy.
     
    #13 howsit, Jan 25, 2015
  14. Brandiac

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    Well if you can convince the guy to send a pic, you can also say "can you hold a piece of paper with Hi written on it?" though it would very much imply that you don't trust him. I say proceed with care.
     
    #14 Brandiac, Jan 25, 2015
  15. Joelouis

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    Have you sent him your face-pic at all?
    I was just wondering, because maybe he is not all that keen on showing his face online as he's still closeted and doesn't like the risk of someone maybe recognising him?

    However, if you do agree to meet then please do so in a public place where there are lots if people around.
     
    #15 Joelouis, Jan 25, 2015
  16. Chip

    Chip
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    The problem with the piece of paper, and no pic, is that you have no idea who the person is. My guess is the guy is actually much, much older than 21 and preying on younger people. When people refuse to give any pictures... that's usually the reason. But we can't be sure.
     
    #16 Chip, Jan 25, 2015
  17. imnotreallysure

    imnotreallysure Guest

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    If someone refuses to send me a picture then I refuse to meet them. Simple as that.
     
    #17 imnotreallysure, Jan 25, 2015
  18. robotman

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    Yeah, I agree with all the posts above, you shouldn't meet someone if you don't know what they look like. Knowing what they look like is a must for me. I wouldn't meet him if he didn't send a pic but I mean it's down to you at the end of the day.
     
    #18 robotman, Jan 25, 2015
  19. Brandiac

    Brandiac
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    Well I meant showing your face + holding the piece of paper.
     
    #19 Brandiac, Jan 25, 2015
  20. Shaded

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    Seems very fishy to me.
    If you're going to meet up then you'll know what he looks like anyway so why wouldn't he send a picture beforehand?
    If I were you I'd try get him to video chat or a picture with a piece of paper saying something specific like EncagedPhoenix said.
     
    #20 Shaded, Jan 25, 2015
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