I know this a loaded question, so I won't say too much on the subject. I did find an internet article that is quite interesting on the subject of lesbian promiscuity. I would like to ask the lesbians of this forum whom have been "out and about" in the lesbian community what their opinions are of this article. Here is the actual link to the article. Musings on Lesbian Promiscuity | Card Carrying Lesbian ... What's in your wallet? I will copy and paste the article here to make things easier for you folks. "From my experiences in the straight world and the lesbian world I’ve noticed something diametrically opposed to one another. Well, at least for myself. When I was dating boys, I thought the fewer men I was with the better. I really kept my numbers low and I was very proud of that fact. However in the lesbian world, at least the world I know … the more women you bed, the better. As a woman dating, kissing, sleeping with other women, there’s no guilt, no stigma, no bad reputation to be avoided. Unlike in the straight world, the lesbian culture seems to embrace sluttiness. Except like our male counter parts we’re allowed to take on the “player” title and let the “slut” label fall by the wayside. Even when somebody calls you a slut, it’s not really an insult. But more a badge of honor. Why is this? Maybe because when the fear of pregnancy and the worry of birth control is gone, a lot of the stigma attached to sex disappears as well. Perhaps it’s the fact that the risk of STD’s is significantly lower among lesbians. Could it be that without the fear of being judged by men, we let our guards down and allow ourselves to indulge in our base nature more openly than our straight girl counter parts? Notice I said “openly” not “freely.” There are plenty of straight women that sleep around and there’s not a damn thing wrong with that. But my point is that for the most part, they keep their real numbers on the down low, in fear of others thinking negatively of them. But as a lesbian I rarely feel as if I’ll be looked down on by anyone, regardless of how many notches I carve into my bedpost. Seriously, no one cares how many women another woman sleeps with. Except maybe the woman you’re currently sleeping with. But straight men think it’s awesome and your gay and lesbian friends just high five you over vodkas … OK, only Amber high fives me, but you get my point. Even straight women don’t seem to care one way or the other. Because they either a) Are too uncomfortable to even ask b) If they do ask, are secretly excited by anything you do tell them or c) Are just hoping to be next on that list. So overall, this is how I see it: Lesbian promiscuity earns you a player card. Straight girl promiscuity just earns you a bad reputation among hypocritical men and jealous women. So if you want to act like a slut, be a lesbian. "
Lesbians being 'slutty' doesn't bother anyone because people don't care about lesbians. Lesbian relationships and lesbian sex is not taken seriously by society. To generalize, straight guys think it's hot when two girls get it on. The more they get it on, the better. Straight girls really wouldn't judge lesbians for being slutty since they really don't care about lesbians. It's too foreign a concept to them so they don't sit around thinking 'Oh that lesbian has slept with so many girls, she is such a slut', it doesn't even occur to them what lesbians do. Same with gay guys, I highly doubt this is something they think or care about. Lesbians are just off the radar, nobody cares what lesbians do. And yes, a part of the reason is because there's no pregnancy and a much lower risk of STD's, but another reason is because lesbians aren't common or mainstream enough for people to actually have an opinion on lesbian promiscuity. Gay promiscuity is only judged because of AIDS and because gay men aren't put on display as sex objects like lesbians, they are ridiculed as male homosexuality isn't trendy like lesbianism. That is the truth. I would definitely not say promiscuity is common in the lesbian world. Most lesbians don't live in a place where they even have an opportunity to be promiscuous, and the ones who do live in a lesbian community in places like LA or New York, only a small section of those lesbians are promiscuous. It definitely exists, but it's not like in the straight world or the gay male world. That said, I'm a lesbian and I don't like slutty girls or girls who sleep around. It's very unattractive to me. 'Slut' is a very heterosexual term. 'Player' suggests someone dominant, someone who seduces. A lesbian who would considered a player instead of a slut for the same reason men are considered players and not sluts. They are seducing women! 'Slut' is very 'I'm gonna let myself be fucked by every guy', not 'I'm gonna go and fuck all these bitches'.
In my experience, It's not any different than with heterosexual couples. In most cases, It's even lower. First of all, sex is usually defined differently in both cultures which makes some lesbians look sluttier when they're not. Think about it. Imagine one girl has had oral sex with 50 women and another has had oral sex with 50 men. If you ask the lesbian how many people she had sex with, she'd say "50" while the straight girl would say "zero". When straight women say they're keeping their numbers low, a LOT of the time, they did have sex with lots and lots of people, but are defining sex in a beyond stupid and rigid way that most lesbians would laugh at them for. Another reason why it looks otherwise is that the vast majority of promiscuity that happens between women is not happening between lesbians but between straight girls. Straight girls thinking It's cool to experiment, to take advantage of lesbians, to do it to turn their boyfriends on. I've noticed this on dating sites I was on. Straight girls constantly wanted sex, while all the lesbians I talked to only wanted to have regular conversation to the point you couldn't even get a date because they were soooooo slow moving in regards to sexuality. I should also add that lesbian sex is not seen as real; It's seen as fake, foreplay and sexy for men. It's not taken seriously and that's why they don't have the slut label when they do it, but that doesn't mean It's a good thing. Lesbian sex is seen as an immature thing that you do to 'play' but then you eventually grow up and learn to take a dick. Which is why so many guys think they can literally rape us straight. Women in general are also programmed to be less sexual and link sex with emotions. Not to say that women can't have casual sex or men can't wait until marriage, but this is mostly how it is due to how estrogen works. That's why the term 'Bed death' usually applies to lesbians only as they lose interest in sex faster. I don't know where this girl lives but her experience is the vast minority between actual lesbians as I find most are serial monogamists.
I haven't been "out and about" in the lesbian community so to speak. But one thing I notice is the article puts a positive spin on how lesbian promiscuity is perceived by the heterosexual world. I would say it's more of a double edged sword in this regard. You see, on the one hand you might say that heterosexual views on lesbian sexuality affords females the oppourtunity to be more promiscuous (should they so wish) without fear of the same judgment that straight women receive for similar activities. On the other hand, a big part of the reason WHY they are not judged in the same way is because the heterosexual world still sees lesbian sex and relationships as 'not real', because societies definition of sex requires there to be a (man's) penis involved, getting stuck somewhere, in order for the act to qualify as 'real' sex. Lesbian interactions do not involve a man, so the mainstream does not respect or validate them on the same level as straight interactions. Lesbian sex is usually treated as fantasy fodder for straight males, which leads to the idea of lesbian promiscuity being praised and encouraged by this culture. So it can be viewed as both a negative and a positive. In the interests of equality, both for LGBT and women in general, one would hope to see a more progressive view where lesbian and straight relationships were treated the same (without either disregarding nor unfairly judging women's behaviour). On a personal level, the oppourtunity for individual freedom can be taken as a win.
Honestly, asking a question like "how promiscuous are lesbians" is not unlike asking "how promiscuous are Starbucks employees" or "how promiscuous are redheads". There is no broad generalization that can be made about any of those groups; the people that make up any of the three categories I describe above are a diverse group of people with widely differing experiences and values, and trying to make any sort of generalization about sexual activity based solely on sexual orientation is simply not something that is going to be be very useful.
Not as bad as them damn bisexuals, with their inability to be in a single relationship, I tell you what~! Seriously though, I believe others have covered this well enough.
Worth noting that F/F craigslist ads are more common and get a lot more hits than F/M ads, but still less than M/M. Though it doesn't necessarily mean gay women are more sexually active or promiscuous; it could mean they have to resort to using online methods more to get dates.
I know one girl I dated was convinced because I was newly out, that I would want to sleep around with tons of women, "just like everyone else does", however, I never really saw this behavior much. I did date several women at a time, but no sleeping with them, and they all knew I was dating around. I was very open about it. Once I was dating someone I wanted to go further with I ONLY dated them. I never was one for sleeping around much. In the Lesbian community often it is smaller and tight knit so the odds are if you sleep with a woman and then move on, you will probably date her ex, and they will still be friends. Or, one of her friends, and you will have to see her and put up with her in your circle of friends. So, I think sometimes we are less judgemental of each other in that regards.
It definitely won't. However, I'd like to add something. I think that, when we generalize, we tend to do some quick calculations. Of the people in (insert name of demographic) I've known, or know enough about, how many are this way versus that way? That said, speaking in terms of proportions, of the lesbians I've known, I'd say that they were less likely to have casual encounters than the gay or bisexual men I've known. They seem to display a longing to have someone in their lives more than most of the guys I've known, and at an earlier age. I'm sure there are incredibly promiscuous lesbians. I know there are incredibly promiscuous heterosexual men and women. In fact, I've known more promiscuous heterosexual women than heterosexual men. I also sense that lesbians either look disapprovingly, either in a judgmental or comical sense, on the antics of their gay male counterparts. When I was in my early 30s, I went to a visit a friend of mine who I'm sure was a lesbian, but closeted to a fairly significant degree. That didn't matter. Until we had a falling out, she was always a great hostess and a good friend. A mutual friend, a Hispanic guy approaching 40 and who looked like a cute stuffed teddy bear, had recently come out. With that came his excursions into the city to go clubbing. She lamented that he habitually tumbled in and out of the beds of 20-somethings, almost as if with an eye roll. Accompanying that was the comment, "Gay men are so sexual." I about burst out laughing. I told a good friend of mine. That was the genesis of our acronym GMASS!
i think it depends on the person..cuz im hella horny all the time but i would not sleep with another woman unless i had feelings for her we were together and i knew she was loyal to me...im obviously very deprived since im single and have never dated a woman long enough to sleep with altho when i was alot younger i did mess around with one girl but only becuz i was so drunk i blacked out..i didnt let her touch me tho..so u can say im stil a virgin (my version: full on naked with another woman and both get off together)..(a lesbian virgin cuz i did have sex with a couple guys before i realized i was les)..And i like it this way..my first love will be the girl ill forever love..
Just like any demographic of people, the amount of sex a gay woman is having depends on that individual.
