So today I called in work to let them know that a relative of mine had passed away last night and that my head was a still a bit all over the place since I hardly got any sleep last night. They were fine about it and told me to take as much time as I needed. But I let them know that as it was only a grandparent I wouldn't need much time, in fact I feel working would take my mind off things as today all I've done is sat at home and thought about it. Anyway, here's the issue. They were keen to find out how long I was entitled to have off work and for the funeral etc. However, I have no desire to attend the funeral due to personal family reasons (it's a long story which I don't really want to go into much detail about) I want to tell them this at work or else I feel that me having a day off today to deal with the passing would be unjustified, but at the same time I don't wish to disclose personal family information with them. What would you do in this situation? Tell them all my families problems of just plain and simply say "I don't need any more time off as I won't be attending the funeral"? I have no clue.
As it is personal business, you needn't give any reason for your time taken off or not for the funeral. People normally respect such boundaries. You took the time you needed, which was not a bad thing, by the way. Thinking about what happened and about what that grandparent meant to you is an important part of life and of loss.
Funerals are for the living, trust me. I'd just give the good old I've got the flue excuse over the phone. Don't spend too much time over this. Go back to my first sentence.
Just tell them you're done. Plenty of people don't attend funerals. Like my dear late grandfather used to say "no point in going to funerals. Nothing fun happens there." Ironically, dad told me this quote of his on my grandfather's funeral.
I had the same thing happen to me when my grandpa died. I would just find out the date of the funeral and say you will be out then. Regardless of whether you go or not you do need time off to think about and deal with this in your own way. Now I know some work places do require some type of proof that you attended the funeral and if this is one of those places you can easily go to the funeral home sometime after the funeral and say you forgot to get proof that you were out of work etc and you should be able to get it at least that's what I've done in the past them that way you don't have to go through your whole life story etc.
Cheers guys! I've slept on it and thought that attending the funeral is probably a bad idea. Due to the family circumstances. I've spoken to a few people and they have told me it's probably best to keep a low profile and let it sort itself out. Me and my immediate family will take time to remember him but right working feels better as it's taking my mind off things!
