I decided to give online dating another go this year. In January I started chatting with a lovely woman. We had many things in common and decided to meet. We have been out 3 times so far and have plans for meeting/date #4. The thing is, none of these meetings are particularly romantic. They don't really involve flirting, or kissing, or anything of the sort. We laugh, joke and have fun but haven't spoken of our intentions or feelings. One of my friends says i should bring it up. But I am still unsure of my interest in her as more than a friend; so how can I expect her to know how she feels yet. Personally I am not feeling the romantic connecton yet. But it has only been 3 meetings and I tend to take a while to warm up to someone and for that attraction to develop. Another issue is that I have feelings (a strong crush, if you will) for somebody. But that's a situation that will likely never amount to anything. I wonder though, if it's preventing my feelings for this gil to develop. My friends all act like 3 dates is a lot and that magic should be happening at this point. I don't feel that 3 or 4 dates is a BIG MAGICAL amount. I feel it is still soon and that I don't yet need to bring up these questions about how she is feeling or what her intentions are. I mean, I WOULD like to know how she is feeling, but don't feel it is yet my place to ask as I am still not ready to answer the same question... my intuition tells me that she is in a similar place of uncertainty. Anyway, I guess my questions are: Am I leading her on by agreeing to go on further dates? (to partially answer my own question, I am comfortable going at a slow pace and hoping that the feelings will come with time)... Maybe I'm just over thinking a whole lot of nothing, as I quite frequently do when I find myself awake at 2 am.
No, you're not leading her on. You said that you're trying to figure out if you like her or not, right? Well, that's what dates are for.
Every person handles these things differently. Just because you haven't felt a strong attraction to her after 3 dates, soon to be 4, doesn't mean that you're leading her on. I would much rather have a good couple of dates with someone before actually entering a romantic relationship with him/her. My ex-girlfriend and I had about 3 dates before I asked her to be my girlfriend. It felt like we were moving at a fast pace but I don't regret it one bit. Pity things didn't work out between us. I miss her. Back to your situation: Take your time, take as long as you need. There's no rush. No point in entering into a relationship when you're uncertain of your feelings. In the meantime, just enjoy it for what it is and let things develop naturally. She obviously enjoys your company (and you obviously enjoy hers), or you wouldn't have gone on 3, almost 4 dates. Have fun, and worry about the more serious stuff later. If it's meant to be, it will be, even if you have to go on 20 dates. (*hug*)
Save the money on the U-Haul rental, and defy the stereotype. Better to develop a good relationship before the commitment. You sound like you already want to take your time anyway.
Thanks for the advice. Your responses all mirror my sentiments. I'll continue to take things slow and see how things develop. We have a lot in common...so if anything, I've gained a new friend.
Maybe you just haven't picked the right location for a date. Why don't you try meeting up a more romantic location, where you guys can still talk but then maybe if the location has an influence you can see how you both feel about each other.
