So, there's this girl who has recently joined the sixth form in college and I've gotten to know her quite well over the last couple of months. Me being a lesbian is not exactly a secret around my friendship group but it isn't really important either (it's very laid back and casual which is great), anyway surprise surprise the new girl finds out which isn't much of a great deal. HOWEVER the new girl is a bit of a 'player' as in she likes to lead people on . I've seen her do this to a few guys who have become really hurt by her actions. Recently she has been trying to 'get it on' with me as in flirting etc etc, but I've been stand offish towards her because shes 1)not my type 2) a player and I don't want to be pissed around with. Have any of you guys come across people like this? If so can you give me some advice to tell her to stop fooling people around? I hate seeing people being fooled with because it's unfair on them :dry::eusa_naug Have a good evening
Well it seems people like her try to raise their self consciousness by being flirted at... its possible she has some inhibitions to get really intimate... keeping it more superficial... well she could be told a deep and intimate partnership is something to strive for... like talking about such kinds of partnerships in a positive way... hugs
If she keeps persisting, you need to shoot her down. Let her know directly that this is not okay, that you know what she's about. Don't just drop hints or go about it some other indirect way, tell her up front so there's no confusion. What she is doing is intentionally looking to hurt people. I don't think it's fear of relationships or anything, or she wouldn't be so persistent. Or maybe I'm terrible at judging situations. This is really what I would do in your shoes.
She's looking for a power trip. She obviously gets off on manipulating people and then having the power to hurt them. Either shoot her down, or ignore her.
Yea, she isn't very nice once she has hurt someone. It's vile in fact :L I think I will just try to ignore her but if that doesn't work... well I think she'll get quite a big surprise! Thanks for the advice
I knew a girl like this at uni. She went round pretty much every guy on our course plus whoever she encountered on a night out. She was extremely devious and used her good looks to get what she wanted. The best way to deal with people like these is to just ignore them. They'll soon get bored and find someone else to tease. ---------- Post added 13th Feb 2015 at 08:37 PM ---------- Or give her a gentle slap...
Do you know if you're the first girl she's done this with? Playing devils advocate for a minute, people in denial about their own sexuality sometimes mess around a lot with the opposite gender because they're confused or insecure and trying to change themselves. Idk if this is the case with this girl but it's a possibility.
I knew a girl like this whilst at Uni. It seems they just like the idea of controlling people, male or female. Please treat her with caution, and don't get hurt.